A rishta dilemma.

Lifestyle Relationships
81

Re: A rishta dilemma.

University degree is helpful in long run, and diploma certification can only safe you for a time being.

82

Re: A rishta dilemma.

go ahead and ask him.

83

Re: A rishta dilemma.

:smiley: heheehehe

dekhlo m sooooo fair :smiley:

for all we know he could be a CAPM:

CAPM (certified associate in Proj management)= in order to take the exam he would need a high school diploma and 1500 hrs of experience or 23 hrs of PM education

thats it

but i agree with u i havent normally seen project managers (at least in the field of engineerin) who havent had some sort of bachelors degree at the very least

84

Re: A rishta dilemma.

Hey

So i just looked at the APM (association of project managers website) and this is what it says under the Entry level certificate

Who is it for?
No prior knowledge or experience is required for this qualification which will offer the individual the knowledge to make a positive contribution to any project.

So maybe they dont always ask for a uni degree?

85

Re: A rishta dilemma.

Dont think too much into this...you cannot control everything.

Even if the guy has double PhDs you still cant guarantee that he will always have a job.....you will get the rizk thats in your fate, whether it comes through a degree or without it

No one is perfect...another guy might have a bigger problem than a degree, so take some & let go of others

86

Re: A rishta dilemma.

you realize that if the guy learns in the future that you're discussing all this about him and judging him without even knowing him properly, i doubt he'll want to consider you as a spouse.

clearly education doesn't always lead to maturity

87

Re: A rishta dilemma.

Exactly how and why is it immature to consider a potential's education level?

88

Re: A rishta dilemma.

^ because you guys are acting like a person who doesn't hold a degree is an animal or something.
Allow me to quote

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the guy is coming with which may outweight his lack of education but honestly nothing comes to my mind that can actually do it.
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education opens up your mind and plus if you are well educated and he isnt...how is the mental level going to be the same?
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im sure he is a wonderful guy...but what will you guys have in common? what will you talk about? im concerned about this because I feel like there should be mental compatibility for a relationship to work well and im concerned about how much of that compatibility there will be between someone who has completed medical school and someone who didnt even complete their bachelors.
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I met some real jerks during my university days, does that mean they're a good match because they have a greatttttt education? Seriously, there is so much more to this dunia then money and degree's. For anyone who is about to say that it gets you a secure job, that is not always the case...my brother in law is a doctor and hasn't been able to find work in his field for the past 7 years. This guy has a good job, honest and good family. It makes you shallow and sad if you're ego hurts if your spouce is not as educated as you. He could be more pious and rightious then you, better looking then you, smarter then you. Being educated doesn't mean your smart! Stupid people can get a degree to
As for inspiron - I suggest you meet this guy and don't be quick to judge him. He might be a great guy! School isn't for everyone, some people get bored of classes and assignment, they aren't interested...so what?

89

Re: A rishta dilemma.

it's interesting to me that you bash ppl because you ASSUME they are thinking of this guy as an animal and yet you,. yourself are assuming things about the posters

ive read all the posts in this thread and none of them seem to imply he is an ANIMAL and no one is arguing there arent some pardhe likhe jaahils out there...

I think most of us here are just trying to make sure that while the OP doesnt judge this potential rishta she shud at the same time proceed with caution to make sure that despite the education difference the two are otherwise compatible ... i personally, feel that if they are compatible they shud go for it ...however if they arent she shouldnt feel compelled or pressured by anyone to go through with it...thats the only reason why the concerns were brought up

please dont go around assuming things about what the posters are implying.... you have no idea what's going on in someone's mind...it's better not to judge until you clarify what someone meant by what they said

as far as ur BIL is concerned he could apply for teaching positions in medical school and anyone who knows anyone who is becoming a doctor knows that a doctor is not a doctor until he is doing/or has completed his residency...until then everything is up in the air

90

Re: A rishta dilemma.

  1. You're never going to respect him, because he gave up on an education, which means he doesn't respect learning and personal development the way you do. If you think this wont get especially complicated when you have kids and you're trying to direct your daughters to a career and he wants them married off, then you're mistaken. You and your partner need to have at least similar goals in life for your kids and that needs to be clarified early on.

  2. I've seen plenty of educated girls go for uneducated boys and the result is a disaster.

  3. You're independent and you've worked on independent goals and achieved them. This guy is still sucking on his mommy's **** like most Pakistani boys. Again ,you're not going to respect him. Nothing worse than being married to someone you want to throw out of your home.

Just warning you. I've seen my colleagues go for guys just like this, and 100% of the time, it led to a nasty divorce.

91

Re: A rishta dilemma.

^^i was hoping the voice of reason would show up :p

92

Re: A rishta dilemma.

Inspiron. Hope all is well and wish you best. With that said, here is my story:

I dropped out of univ because i had to take care of the family and due to financial hardships. And then after some years i didn't feel like going to school because i was working at good firm. However, i personally think degree does help you a bit. That is why, being 28 I am trying to finish my under-grad. I would love to get married Insha'allah when i am half way done my under-grad by next year insha'Allah. And i tell you why i am trying to finish off my basic degree.

  1. I believe in constant striving. And don't want to waste any more time to achieve which will only benefit me in long run.
  2. Looks good in my resume (truth!)
  3. At least tell your wife to be that you want to get somewhere in life.
  4. Last but not least, education is never gone wasted and comes in handy.

Having said that, i think you should meet this guy and if your family and you're convinced that he is someone who is willing to work hard in life and is ambitious. Support him and Allah will reward you for this.

93

Re: A rishta dilemma.

That doesn’t mean, FYI, that this guy wont be a great husband. He may very well make a great husband and father. Like I even know him to judge. But just the fact that his path in life and yours is so different, it will make you aggravated when you have to deal with him, because girls like you, let’s face it (I’m the same way), cannot deal with mediocrity. It peeves us off to no end when we see someone who hasn’t worked the way we have. We just don’t respect it.

So, you’re gonna marry this guy, and spend the rest of your days wanting to throw something at him.

One of my colleagues - now married to a housewife he imported from Pakistan mashallah, subhanallah, etc etc :rolleyes: told me one thing, and even though I don’t really keep in touch with the guy or respect him remotely as a professional, his advice has stuck with me. He said to me - PCG, you need someone that is active like you, motivated like you, and has goals in life like you do. Otherwise, you’re going to be miserable, because he’ll never match you.

And it’s true. Not that I’m the hottest stuff out there - plenty of people in my field way more accomplished than I, and I deem myself to have a far way to go, but it’s just the concept that if you’re the kind of person that has GOALS IN LIFE and DREAMS that go beyond making a quick buck, you’re going to be unhappy with someone who does just that: Make a quick buck.

And let’s face it. Pakistanis are from an economically stressed part of the world, and now being torn by international warfare. Anyone who is short of starving and poor in Pakistan is doing just that - doing what they can to make a quick buck. It’s not a country where art, and education, and enlightened learning is at all in vogue. It’s all about do what you can to make as many ruppees/dollars as you can so you can live the life. Whether that’s a decent house with western plumbing or being able to afford Nomi ansari dresses for your sisters/wives/moms. That’s where the priorities of Pakistanis are. Just troll this website. This place is the one place online most concentrated with educated/reasonable/westernized Pakistanis (anyone not living like a dog in Pakistan, essentially), and just look at the topics people open up. It shows where our priorities are as a nation.

You think that you being a doctor, educated to take care of people’s lives, being a life-long student, interested and motivated in constantly learning and growing is going to respect the dude who goes to a gas station, takes no personal interest in his “career” and is only intersted in churning out dollars so that he can support his family? Who dropped out of university so he could take the easy way out and make money faster and earlier, not really caring about the development of his mind, to better understand the world he lives in - because what is he going to get out of that?

Yeah ok, have fun with that. You two will hit it off, I’m sure.

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Re: A rishta dilemma.

I should add, that the above poster is also right. He may very well have dropped out because it was too expensive, and he needed to support his family financially. That is admirable, I suppose, but then take note: If that is the case, then if you offer to put him through school, he will eagerly take the opportunity and then be forever devoted to you.

I've seen one dude do that. His wife, a white lady, put him thru pharmacy school, and he has stuck with her, a devoted husband. But then, he was fresh off the plane, a recent immigrant from Pakistan and from a family with barely a penny to their name.

There are honest people such as that out there, but then, how many of us girls are looking at working families in Pakistan for rishtaa potentials anyway? They're way below our class standard, right? Because that's what we Pakistanis are. We're class snobs.

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Re: A rishta dilemma.

Sorry to go off topic but... that is totally uncalled for, perhaps you share that snobby attitude. But if a girl has lived in the US or abroad all her life, she has a completely different mentality than those living in Pakistan. And secondly, girls have a right to worry if the men they are marrying are marrying them for their visa. Last but not least, assume the guy comes to the US, it may take him a while to get financially settled, which can take several years and even after that there is no guarantee he will be able to provide for his family. This has absolutely nothing to do with "class snobs"

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Re: A rishta dilemma.

Respects to you PCG. I would love my wife endlessly if she would be willing to support me all through getting done with education . I will personally be in debt for her kindness and therefore would do anything for my wife to be.

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Re: A rishta dilemma.

The crux of the replies is this…i am just summarizing…

“Run away inspiron…he is uneducated pathetic loser…spare your self from the torture of living with a drop-out” :rolleyes:

98

Re: A rishta dilemma.

In case you didn't get it, I was being sarcastic.

99

Re: A rishta dilemma.

el sarcismo was apparently lost :D

100

Re: A rishta dilemma.

Thing is that he may be in a very good job today...but if God forbid he looses it...when he applies for other roles him not having a degree will make a difference...however at the same time i agree that a lot of people look at experience now rather than degree....I do think he should finish his degree at some point though....but nevertheless...do meet him...sounds like a good rishta...and i dont think u should base ur decision on the education part :) good luck!