So there is this rishta that wants to come and see me, and I have agreed
My parents have met the whole family and boy. I will meet them when they come to my house.
My parents really like them and like the boy HOWEVER the boy is a uni ‘drop out’ he has a decent job though.
Now I dont know why but for some reason I cant seem to get my head around the uni drop out bit…I know I sound a little arrogant here but I spent 6 years working my ass of at medical school and I guess I just dont understand it.
He dropped out of uni just because he didnt like it and didnt want to do it anymore.
My parents are also a little concerned about this but his really lovely family and the boys other attributes override this enough for them to let this family come and see me and i trust my parents judgement.
Hmmm. Well i would also be very concerned because if you yourself are educated you expect the same from your partner. And he has not even completed the basic graduation so it really sucks. Doesnt seem like he had a valid reason for it i.e lack of financial support, etc.
See, we all want to marry into a well to do family but money comes and goes but what stays with you is your education and character. So it's very important to not let that priority slide.
At the end of the day, you and your family are the best judge because you know what other good things the guy is coming with which may outweight his lack of education but honestly nothing comes to my mind that can actually do it.
education opens up your mind and plus if you are well educated and he isnt...how is the mental level going to be the same?
i just don;t know ... i don't wanna sound all snooty either...im not putting him down or anything im sure he is a wonderful guy...but what will you guys have in common? what will you talk about? im concerned about this because I feel like there should be mental compatibility for a relationship to work well and im concerned about how much of that compatibility there will be between someone who has completed medical school and someone who didnt even complete their bachelors.
if you had said he is a BS in comp sci or a BS in whatever even if it was fine arts...it would be different but to not have done anything at all ...errrrrrrrrrrrm ....please think about it long and hard
I can understand... sometimes just a bit in a rishta can get on our nerves, but lack of education is a big thing especially when you are soo highly qualified Masha Allah.
Know your preferences well. Will you be ok marrying less educated person than you? You will be medical graduate Insha Allah. Will less education of your husband be problem for you in the future? Some girls are ok with it. But for majority, its a difficult thing. Desi guys can also feel complexed if their wives are more educated than them and this leads to defining their behaviour with their wives. Besides, their income capability is also affected.
I suggest you meet him. If you still don't feel like going ahead, at least you will have valid reason for that. It will only be after meeting him and getting to him that you will be able to know whether you will be able to ignore his education or not.
majority billionaires are uni drop out. i would have dropped out as well if i had a choice. my mother really wanted me to have a degree that why i got it, otherwise institutional education is not for someone who is inventive and assertive.
ps. he can always go back and complete it but it really doesn't matter when your work is teaching you more than any graduate/book.
What i believe is different from you people because i have seen many well educated but Jahil people. You know what i mean jin ka education kuch nahin bigar pati. So for me education is not that mandatory but only in love marriage. Because in love marriage if he is not well educated but hard working and ambitious and have all the other qualities then i would easily ignore that negative point. But in arrange marriages you don't know guy who he is? whats his ambitions? is he hardworking or not? etc... So we are always looking for education and job. But i think there is no harm in meeting him. You never know k app ko kia click ker jaye us bandy main.
I know for you it is very difficult to consider him as you are highly qualified girl MashaAllah. But in my own personal experience my both sisters are Engineer and at the time of their proposals, they got proposals from not so educated people but we always meet them who knows.......
But still if education is really irritating you then i will recommend you to not go for this proposals. Because you are having difficulty to accept this education difference and it will irritate you in future life as well. But still milny main kia harj hai.....
At the end of the day love doesn't put food on the table education does. I guess you have to think down the road, if you want kids, are you going to be able to take time off? and will he be able to support you during that time off.
I too am highly educated, and I wouldn't accept any rishta that didn't at least have a bachelor's if not masters, and AH I did end up coincidently with someone who is more educated then i am, I have a MBA (going for my MS degree) and Husband is a Ph.D candidate.
What does he do for life? Or what are his plans for future? Being uni drop out isnt a big deal if he claims a promising future otherwise. Degrees and diplomas are not everything and in some cases rather an irony only. Dont make it the reason anyway.
The guy didnt have a valid reason for dropping out of uni as far as I know apart from it just wasnt his thing.
The guy works in a large bank in a good position and his parents arent jahil at all, my dad said he is bright and intelligent and his family are too.
I guess i will have to meet him and find out more, his mum said that he is planning to finish his degree but he is his late 20's now so i dont know how likely that is to happen.
I know what is being said about educated people being jahil too.
I am deffo going to meet him but its just quite a confusing situation.
The guy didnt have a valid reason for dropping out of uni as far as I know apart from it just wasnt his thing.
We know two guys who dropped out of doing medicine.. in both cases they were pushed into it by their families and just couldn't handle doing something they didn't feel comfortable or happy with.. Could be something similar with the guy you're talking about as well..
We know two guys who dropped out of doing medicine.. in both cases they were pushed into it by their families and just couldn't handle doing something they didn't feel comfortable or happy with.. Could be something similar with the guy you're talking about as well..
Well my dad asked him and he said he was doing english and history at uni our of choice but in his final year he dropped out and didnt go through with it because it wasnt his thing and although his family is encouraging him to finish his degree he is a professional now and is doing ok so he doesnt see why he should go back!
Ok thats great if he is working in a good position. many people with degrees dont get that. And then you people especially your family are so positive about him and his family. You just meet him and please kick this confusion thing out of your mind for a while. Meet him with a positive outlook and decide after that whether you both click or not. Dont set your mind already or be confused because this confusion will rather blur your impression of him.
inspiron I have read your previous posts and you sound so samajhdar masha Allah. Tell me what a degree has to do with mentality? A degree is just a formality to earn bread right? dont equal it to the mentality.
inspiron I have read your previous posts and you sound so samajhdar masha Allah. Tell me what a degree has to do with mentality? A degree is just a formality to earn bread right? dont equal it to the mentality.
Oh thanks haha :)
Well I guess my worry is hes one of those people who starts something and gives up when the going gets tough? And does he value education, like if it does work out and we have children wll he encourage them to do their best at school?
Meet him and talk to him...I would not disqualify someone based on education alone.
At least he was honest with you and told you exactly how things were. Even before you consider a future with him, its good to know you can expect at least honesty from this guy.
Education is not only meant to put food on the table...its meant to open a person's mind up to bigger and broader ideas. It helps bridge communication gaps between people - at least its meant to. It helps people understand backgrounds, differences, culture, religion, our social system, so many things, etc. Also, education does not equal ambition.
If he is ambitious and has a drive to succeed in life, I would consider him. If he comes off as someone who just doesnt try hard enough, then I wouldnt.
lol dont work over it all so much especially about whatever the future has in its folds for you. Only that he is uni drop out should not make you decide he is inconsistent (i think this is what you mean by saying he give up he things in the middle). Who knows if he turns out to be even much more responsible person as a father and a husband. You cant know until you meet him and try to know him more. And even if he isnt so, I mean not encouraging the kids their best at school, Im sure you will, and trust me, its a very normal and healthy atmosphere for the kiddies to have only one of both the parents so serious about doing their best and all. Atleast this way the other will help them enjoying the blissful innocence and carefreeness of childhood :)
I thought you will get some educated guy, but your father seems to be in worry/hurry and it suggest that you may end with this guy who was dropped out from uni..
so you really dont have any core preferences(uncompromisable).
