Re: A hindu-muslim wedding!!!
yeah my point exactly TLK.
If you are not religious enough ans it's okay for you to be tumkaay maring - no harm in doing the saat pheeray.
An islamic ceromony only consist of nikkah and valima. Very simple. No dawat, no 15 khaany, no dholki, no joota chupaee, no walking under the Quran.
All of the rest is cultural. You can break glass if you want. (from jewish weddings) - it doesn't nullify your islamic wedding
Re: A hindu-muslim wedding!!!
^ I dont know about that. According to that logic, if you're committing one sin, you can commit every other sin?
Re: A hindu-muslim wedding!!!
fasaadi - the point was you can't compare the two.
sangeet is the same as a mehndi no? Its basically just singing and dancing... and** if saat phairay involves praying to the gods**, I don't think they are equally haram because nothing supercedes shirk.
I agree, that is the confusion on my part also, I think fore represents purity in hunduism, its not an autaar of god in their religion. But its a touchy topic nevertheless.
Re: A hindu-muslim wedding!!!
njgal, but it sounds like you're saying you can compare the two....TLK's point was that sangeet is as haram as saath phairay, and you were saying that if you can have a sangeet, go ahead and do saath phairay. thats my point of contention, i think just because you're doing one thing that's considered wrong religiously doesnt mean you should go ahead and do all 50 things that would be considered wrong.
lol this is getting confusing...
Point is, one is obligated to listen to/obey his/her parents even if they are non Muslims unless they ask for shirk. If the saat pharaiy is shirk, its better to avoid that, if its just cultural, it may not be desirable but ok I guess
your Iman should not be that weak that these bhajjan and moving around the fire makes you question the "Wahadiat of ALLAH SWT". besides if she was really questioning the shirk, then she shouldn't be doing it.
lately, i am witnessing this chawwal rasam among pakistanis as well. when bride throws the chawwal at the back. i find it totally a rubbish ritual. it is literally painful for me to see this rasam cuz there are hundreds of people literally dying cuz of hunger, aur yahan logoon ko ayashi ki pari hoe hai.
but if i ever will be put in the same situation than when my MIL-to-be puts a tray of rice in fronts of me...it is not that gonna throw it on her face.
because i should not forget that i am not the one responsible to provide food to everyone. the least is in my hands is to respect it (rice). so i will constantly hate my action of throwing the rice.
similar is the situation here. first, when bride changed her religion then should have acknowledged that she is on her own now. she can pray to ALLAH SWT that make her husband help her to go through this difficult phase, but she cant make anyone. her first step of choosing the right path is done. and now she will be put through several tests.
this situation may also be her test. if she changed her religion without worrying about her parents, then there shouldn't be any problem in dealing with this hindu-muslim marriage clash.
but then there are many who initially change religion not cuz they started fearing ALLAH SWT but cuz the love of their (girl/guy) demands them to do so. they will take time to sink into the concept. and inshaALLAH when she will have these concepts penetrate into their soul....even though she will regret her past but then she will be a true devotee (asking for forgiveness constantly).
Zobia, thats really nice.
My husband is totally against the whole mehndi, mayun, walking under the dupatta and all that stuff and had strictly told his parents not to do anything of that sort. But his mom insisted on doing a mehndi for their side so he reluctantly agreed to make her happy and not cause any sort of badmazgi for anyone. Same thing with our side too, he isn't very happy but going along to make my parents (and MEEEE) happy.
you are mashaALLAH lucky to have such understanding husband. : )
your Iman should not be that weak that these bhajjan and moving around the fire makes you question the "Wahadiat of ALLAH SWT". besides if she was really questioning the shirk, then she shouldn't be doing it. .
Lo ji. Alhamdulliah my iman is strong enough that even if I bow in front of a statue, my heart and soul wont question the "Wahadiat of ALLAH SWT". That does not mean I should do that cause that will make me a Mushrik
chachu, ALHUMDULLAH app ka viyah hogayea hai.
app ko kiss cheez ki chinta hai :aq:
or ager app nay saath pheray lagain thay to abb kia hoot jab chirian chuug gayeee khait 
ps. you should also not play musical chair from now on please 
Re: A hindu-muslim wedding!!!
Zobia, I hope inshaAllah you find understanding and religious in-laws, but just remember, until you're engaged or married, you won't know how much compromise is involved in the union of two people and thus, two families....so right now, its easy to say things like "i'm gonna do this and i'm gonna do that"
you would really throw rice in your mother-in-law's face?
Re: A hindu-muslim wedding!!!
^ as i said earlier. i dislike these things, but you have to do manythings only to make happy.
and no i am not gonna throw at her face. (i rather throw it on my face)
Re: A hindu-muslim wedding!!!
Despite her conversion to the man she loves for (most likely only for the sake of love otherwise he wouldn't have married her) This girl has grown up probably dreaming of her wedding day just like many of us. Those who have said they want all the trimmings despite their partners and inlaws saying no because a great mehndi is what you've been dreaming of. Whether theres any religious issue or not, this girl is newly Muslim so probably Will only consider herself married via the Hindu way. Why be a hypocrite? Let her have it. Its no big deal if its not incorporated into one ritual which can get confusing. I think her parents are allowed to have this one thing. Who are we to judge who's religious ceremony is better and believable in the eyes of god.
Re: A hindu-muslim wedding!!!
but as muslims though, aren't we taught that our way is better than everyone else's and going through with rituals that mimic other religions, or belong to other religions, isn't right?
it could go both ways- you could say outright that doing saat pherey isn't right, now that she's a muslim and she needs to get with the program, have a nikkah, and settle down already.
or we could say, for eg, jannat lies under her mother's feet and a mother's happiness is really, really important in the eyes of a muslim, therefore, to please her mum, she should incorporate the saat pherey into her ceremony, but do it only as a superficial action with no tie to hinduism. is that possible or is it pretty much the heart and soul of a hindu ceremony and you can't separate the two? if you perform an action that you don't believe in, does that make you a hypocrite or a good muslim? and where do you draw the line and say, enough is enough, no more religious traditions for the sake of someone else's happiness?
someone close to me is most likely going to marry her hindu boyfriend. needless to say, topic's like this come up often in our household. he will convert to islam but he still wants rituals like holi and diwali to be celebrated in their future muslim household because it is a part of his culture and his family's traditions, and not necessarily his religion. so yeah- what do you do?
i am against all the fazool rasmain "mhendi, mayoon,joota chupai". and inshaALLAH i will not have any of it on my wedding. i will inshaALLAH convince my future hubby to get the estimate of all these fazool rasams (go to the video person, hall ppl and bla bla) and sadqa the equal amount. inshaALLAH
but then its the way i have planned. i dont know who is assist me in future, and neither i am aware of my in-laws. i also dont know what my MIL-to be has planned for his son. cuz since i have plans for mine, there is chance she also has planned many thing.
my intentions are honest, and if she likes to have something then she can have it. cuz if something is making someone happy, then i must acknowledge that this is my foremost responsibility as a human.
so if her parents wants to have something insert any hindu rasam then let them have it, and pray to ALLAH SWT to show them the right path. her hindu parents are ignorant so welcome em in your circle.
imans third stage is if you dont like something, atleast call it bad it your heart.
I didnt had any mayoon or mehandi...only Nikah and rukhsati...and i was ok with that..even thou i always planned for mehandi dress mayoon dress...but i think isi tarha naseeb mai thee to yehi sahi :)
ooo same, I like the mangal sutra idea. They are so pretty anyway :@:
Many Muslim families call it 'Kali Poth' and have the ceremony at the wedding. It is not done by the groom though but by seven happily married women.
my mother was hindu and converted before marriage but at every hindu ceremony or bollywood scene she always wishes she took the steps around the fire.
I think this is significant because i've been a bridesmaid and more than enough hindu weddings and enjoyed the significance of each step around the fire, and i love how the woman leads the man at the end. I also enjoy the game at the end of it the pandit says the last thing and then jokes about who will have the power in the marriage. basically whoever takes their seat first will be the boss of the couple and so the bride and groom get ready and when the pandit says go or the family they try to beat the other to their seat. i've seen brothers hold grooms so their sisters can take their seat and so forth it's a cute game but like i said the significance of each step around the fire is not just for the couple but includes the parents.
i will say a hindu wedding ceremony is like 3 hours but includes rituals performed by everyone in the family where as a muslim wedding doesn't need a mother and a father and so forth. so if i were her i'd at least keep that tradition and explain the seat game to the muslim side and see if they will accept it as a rasm and get over their issues.
also i think culturally a lot of games came from hindu traditions the bride and groom cannot wear shoes on the mandap, actually no one can. (i should know i've been up there many times). so that's how people get the grooms shoes and hold it for ransom. last i checked a groom never had to take off his shoes to marry a muslim bride.
^ do you know the significance of each phera? my bff is hindu and i remember her explaining it to me and it sounded very beautiful, but i can't recall exactly what. something like the couple promises fidelity to each other, support for each other, etc., with each round, no? in which case, it doesn't sound religious... more like common sense, or vows like gora people take during their ceremony?
Many Muslim families call it 'Kali Poth' and have the ceremony at the wedding. It is not done by the groom though but by seven happily married women.
yeah my mom has a kaali poth, or used to anyway- i haven't seen it in ages, but i remember she used to wear it all the time. not sure who gave it to her though. is it a hyderabadi thing, mahi?
you know i hear it so much yet i still can't ever fully remember it but luckily google is our friend and i don't think anyone would object to the couple making such important vows to one another infront of their community:
The following seven vows are taken by bride and bridegroom before fire.
Exchange of garlands is symbolic that they can exchange any good or bad from that day.
Re: A hindu-muslim wedding!!!
Cool stuff. Thanks for sharing.