.. and why most of them fail. Especially the ones where the couple went against their family wishes to marry.
I can share my perspective. Ours is a love marriage. My family was initially not in agreement. I went through hell to marry her. Off course we got married with our parents’ blessing at the end. Right after the wedding, a sudden guilt kicked in. I got what I wanted but I realized that i bruised some egos and hurt some feelings. I felt selfish. That made me lean more towards my family to make up for my previous stubbornness. Also, all my frustrations, I took out on my lovely wife. I can guarantee you that it was a rough patch for her where not only that she was struggling to bridge the gaps with her inlaws but must also be surprised that what happened to the guy who loved me so much.
I must admit that my wife is one strong woman. I always loved her dearly, even when I was taking out my frustration on her, but how would she know that. My attitude was definitely saying otherwise. I think that she had more confidence on her love for me than on my love for her.
I see many threads where girls get a surprise by the sudden change of their hubby’s behavior. My advice is .. dont give up ladies. Its all temporary. If this was a love marriage then he still loves you as much. He may only be going through a little guilt tunnel. He will be ok soon.
what you wrote is so real and heartfelt. when did you realize or start feeling bad about it, and started treating her better?
I think it took sometime for me to get out of my insecurities. I like to say that 1st year was not all that lovey dovey as many newly wed girls like to experience.
can I ask was there a time when u thought of forgetting about the whole thing? I ask bcoz I have seen alot of people come home and tell their parents they have found someone and the parents totally disagree and make their children feel guilty for going against their wishes and the children eventually give in an marry someone of their parents choice and live a miserable ever after.
TLK: So when does the guilty feelings start settling in? You say about a year AND if wife is strong - but wouldn't that also have to include both sets of parents to accept your partner(s)? If parents still don't accept - then what does the guy feel is the right things to do?
Awwwwwwwwwwww..ur soooo adorable..ur wife is so lucky to have someone like you. U have officially become my favourite guy on GS…coz normally a guy would never admit what he did was wrong and why he acted like an ass
atleast u admit u were wrong in some way. some wives are not that lucky, when their husbands blame them for everything.
Credit goes both ways Sara. She also probably tolerated few things before I admitted to my weaknesses. Well, I am not going to call it a weakness. Its a hard job for a guy to bring balance between his side of the family and his wife. The process does take time.
I lov happy endings!
can I ask was there a time when u thought of forgetting about the whole thing? I ask bcoz I have seen alot of people come home and tell their parents they have found someone and the parents totally disagree and make their children feel guilty for going against their wishes and the children eventually give in an marry someone of their parents choice and live a miserable ever after.
Yes CE, there was a time when we both decided to throw in the towel. One common friend encouraged us not to give up and the rest is history :D
Both side of parents did accept us. Its not that my mom was stopping me from loving my wife, its just that I was trying to be an over obedient son (out of guilt) and somehow neglecting my wife in the process.
thanks for moving me out of the ‘ass’ category and into the ‘favorite’ one
Awww my arse. That’s pathetic. You are a man and you should be able to treat the woman you loved with respect after marriage AND be close to your family. They are not mutually exclusive. There is no excuse for that sort of behavior. Nice way to start off your marriage. :k:
only nik can decide if it was worth going through all that. 13 years together I guess we all know her answer.
Now women death squad should just relax and spare the dude.
