Re: a gud daughter in law....
we did not
Huh?!! oh sorry i meant NomiCC and rizla
Re: a gud daughter in law…
I’m not part of any camp. I just think women should stick to the kitchen and make us sandwiches 
. All DIL-MIL fights can stay in the kitchen.
Re: a gud daughter in law…
camps?? what would be the camps to which me and rizla86 belonged before…and which have joined??
Re: a gud daughter in law....
^ your camp: the women haters camp
Re: a gud daughter in law....
Nevermind......you people are angry right now....
I was just asking your take on if EVERY girl is always not looking for trouble.....then logically the problem is ALWAYS at the in-laws/"so called man's" side??
or alternatively......were you saying that NOT EVERY in-law/man enters marriage seeking peace, without discrimination or prejudice??
I was just asking your opinion.
yes.....please also tell me what are your views regarding MEN/Socalled Men............
is this statement correct or incorrect??
EVERY in-law/man enters marriage seeking peace, without discrimination or prejudice..
I have no reason to be angry, like I said before NO woman enters a marriage wanting disputes and issues.. with time problems may arise. Have you always gotten along with your parents and siblings? Same thing with the inlaws, most men on here have stereotyped woman into something they really aren't. Woman seek the same thing in a marriage that men do.. respect, love, care and peace. It's harder for a girl that's left her family behind to adjust with a 'new' set of parents and siblings as well..
Re: a gud daughter in law....
I have an easy solution for you: dont get married to a woman. :)
Ima gonna tweak that restriction.
Don't get married to a man either. Just don't marry ANYTHING living.
Re: a gud daughter in law....
I have no reason to be angry, like I said before NO woman enters a marriage wanting disputes and issues.. with time problems may arise. Have you always gotten along with your parents and siblings? Same thing with the inlaws, most men on here have stereotyped woman into something they really aren't. Woman seek the same thing in a marriage that men do.. respect, love, care and peace. It's harder for a girl that's left her family behind to adjust with a 'new' set of parents and siblings as well..
Agree. Several of the female posters.........when they read threads regarding in-laws issues.........suggest strategies like compromise, patience, looking at things from the other perspective, communicating in a calm manner, and trying to be the bigger person. Most of them don't RUSH to advise the poster to be nasty to their in-laws and seek revenge. And several of them don't RUSH to advise divorce...and if so...it's listed as a last resort.....where all efforts to save the marriage have been exhausted and it is still dysfunctional beyond repair. It's like the guys here ( few of them) seem to ignore that......and take one little thing/comment..........such as the very simple FACT that your in-laws ARE NOT on the SAME EXACT LEVEL as your parents.......which is also supported by Islam.........and twist it into the view that a woman who understands this (and can manage to respect her in-laws....but keep her expectations reasonable)......is "too maadran/liberal/feminist." I respect my Taya, Chacha, Mamoo, Khala. I respect them even when they don't treat me right. But in the back of my mind...I KNOW.....that they would never treat me exactly the same as their own kids....and these are BLOOD RELATIVES. If my parents were to die tomorrow....I can have the expectation that they can and will treat me the same as my own parents................and get hurt when I learn that they can't.........or I can continue to give them the respect that I've been taught to give my elders..........but understand that that sort of love can only come from my own parents and no other person can parallel that.
Just because the word "in-law" also includes "mother" and "father".....doesn't equate them to one's actual parents. "Like" ain't the same as "is." Saas/Sasur maa baap jaisay hain........is not a reality....it's not a fact.....not supported by religion...............it's an IDEA.
Re: a gud daughter in law....
I have no reason to be angry, like I said before NO woman enters a marriage wanting disputes and issues.. with time problems may arise. Have you always gotten along with your parents and siblings? Same thing with the inlaws, most men on here have stereotyped woman into something they really aren't. Woman seek the same thing in a marriage that men do.. respect, love, care and peace. It's harder for a girl that's left her family behind to adjust with a 'new' set of parents and siblings as well..
Bravo Gina!
Women end up doing a lot to adjust in their new lives. The last thing we need is someone saying "these are new set of parents...if you want to breathe you need to check with them first".
Re: a gud daughter in law....
Agree. Several of the female posters.........when they read threads regarding in-laws issues.........suggest strategies like compromise, patience, looking at things from the other perspective, communicating in a calm manner, and trying to be the bigger person. Most of them don't RUSH to advise the poster to be nasty to their in-laws and seek revenge. And several of them don't RUSH to advise divorce...and if so...it's listed as a last resort.....where all efforts to save the marriage have been exhausted and it is still dysfunctional beyond repair. It's like the guys here ( few of them) seem to ignore that......and take one little thing/comment..........such as the very simple FACT that your in-laws ARE NOT on the SAME EXACT LEVEL as your parents.......which is also supported by Islam.........and twist it into the view that a woman who understands this (and can manage to respect her in-laws....but keep her expectations reasonable)......is "too maadran/liberal/feminist." I respect my Taya, Chacha, Mamoo, Khala. I respect them even when they don't treat me right. But in the back of my mind...I KNOW.....that they would never treat me exactly the same as their own kids....and these are BLOOD RELATIVES. If my parents were to die tomorrow....I can have the expectation that they can and will treat me the same as my own parents................and get hurt when I learn that they can't.........or I can continue to give them the respect that I've been taught to give my elders..........but understand that that sort of love can only come from my own parents and no other person can parallel that.
Just because the word "in-law" also includes "mother" and "father".....doesn't equate them to one's actual parents. "Like" ain't the same as "is." Saas/Sasur maa baap jaisay hain........is not a reality....it's not a fact.....not supported by religion...............it's an IDEA.
Thats all there is to it.
Re: a gud daughter in law…
this was the most painful thing I have ever had to read, should come with a translation, and there was a 5 page debate based on this 
Re: a gud daughter in law....
First of all...... i would like to state my position on this matter [which i didn't till now but somehow it was assumed to be otherwise]....i was merely asking you folks position on this matter...and how you view it....
It is VERY ESSENTIAL FOR THE DIL AND IN-LAWS BOTH TO KEEP EXPECTATIONS MINIMUM....so i did not have anything against this notion which Reha pointed at in the start.
I have no reason to be angry, like I said before NO woman enters a marriage wanting disputes and issues.. with time problems may arise. Have you always gotten along with your parents and siblings? Same thing with the inlaws, most men on here have stereotyped woman into something they really aren't. Woman seek the same thing in a marriage that men do.. respect, love, care and peace. It's harder for a girl that's left her family behind to adjust with a 'new' set of parents and siblings as well..
i agree completely 100%...
Agree. Several of the female posters.........when they read threads regarding in-laws issues.........suggest strategies like compromise, patience, looking at things from the other perspective, communicating in a calm manner, and trying to be the bigger person. Most of them don't RUSH to advise the poster to be nasty to their in-laws and seek revenge. And several of them don't RUSH to advise divorce...and if so...it's listed as a last resort.....where all efforts to save the marriage have been exhausted and it is still dysfunctional beyond repair
i know what i say woudn't matter......as i have said this before too.....i know most of the female posters here do advise compromise and making things work....and I also see a lot posts in which the original poster is made scared of things and given advices to break it, leave it, divorce, run away etc etc [without knowing the precise details of the particular situation].....but when i sit back and read all the posts.... besides the positive advices i see that impending doom and gloom picture is painted for the questioner, alongwith horror stories of how things went so bad for others.....and I feel that from between the lines the reader is influenced in a negative manner (despite presence of the positive advices)....
why do i say these things? why don't i shut up and let other people advise who have a different opinion than mine? why don't i just stop selective reading??....
well.....everybody is entitled to give their opinion....so am i....everyone (usually) has the intent to provide genuine and best advise to a questioner...so do i......but if i see something that i think is not constructive or healthy.......i have to point it out......i am not losing my sleep over it...but being a part (if) of this place i feel obligated to give feedback to other 'advisors' and the original questioner.....i will do my part to point it out......and other advisors and viewers and posters can chose to ignore it, dismiss it for whatever reasons, call me a woman hater or something......
or may be...
think over it, and may be, take it to be what it is....a feedback
Re: a gud daughter in law…
^ Majority of the posters give sound advice..
The MIL vs DIL has really been blown out of proportion and either the MIL is evil or the DIL is evil. Men that think like this need a wake-up call, if a woman is serving and looking after your parents she’s doing it out of her niceness and to please Allah swt. It’s not obligatory that she looks after them.. however it’s the son that has to take care of them and their needs (including meals). It’s a womans’ good virtue that she actually looks after his parents in the first place, appreciate it!
After leaving he house, the last thing a woman wants is a dispute/issue. MIL and DIL both have similar expectations respect and harmony.
Re: a gud daughter in law…
No you do not live in real world.
You think women can live their lives ‘independantly’ and be happy.
That is a fantasy ya know, not a reality. Just like not expecting good from in laws… 
Bebas, Majboor or whatever is your own creation, I never said that.
If I say women need men MORE in this world then take it as it is said.. Does not mean women are majboor/lachaar/bebas.
My friend, both DIL and MIL ARE women.
Few in laws haters do go in to marriage armed with hatred and then complain why they did not get treated like their own.
Re: a gud daughter in law....
No you do not live in real world.
You think women can live their lives 'independantly' and be happy.
That is a fantasy ya know, not a reality. Just like not expecting good from in laws......... :)
Bebas, Majboor or whatever is your own creation, I never said that.
If I say women need men MORE in this world then take it as it is said.. Does not mean women are majboor/lachaar/bebas.
We do live in a real world. You're thinking in the way most men do when they've never been married. Which is fine I guess because then I cannot expect you to know better than what you're writing.
Women can live their lives independently and be very happy. Maybe thats what is bothering you right now. That you might not be needed. That you would actually have to possess some qualities aside from a paycheck to speak for yourself. Whether you choose to believe it or not is entirely upto you. Life will not stop in this thread, no one will change their lifestyle and give up their freedom because of what ONE teeny tiny person says.
As for the inlaw bit...you still do not get it. No expectations means good and bad...meaning do not expect good or bad. I do not know how else to say it so it makes sense but this is it. If you dont get it, then Allah apko naik hidayat dein.
I would definitely consider anything you have to say if it makes sense. But your ideology lacks that in every way.
Some say that the way you are is a result of the people you come across...so maybe its not your fault you are this way. Chalo koi nahin...:)
Re: a gud daughter in law....
If you blv that any women enters marriage armed and with 'hatred' you're sadly mistaken... take it from real women that are telling you this rathar than Star Plus and Ekta Kapoor.
Re: a gud daughter in law…
r u a female or male??this is painful my dear but this is all truth so we had to make a solid debate although the result is nothing lol
Re: a gud daughter in law…
No its not… what did i say against women??
i am being accused of supporting the MIL…which you may know is a Woman too!!!
why don’t you call those calling names to the MIL as woman haters too??
Bechari MIL b to woman hi hoti hai na…uss k peechay kyu paray rehtay ho all the time??
I wonder why everybody only consider the DIL to be the woman
Re: a gud daughter in law…
DIL is the new woman.
Re: a gud daughter in law....
Islam has said nothing about what a good daughter in law or a good son in law should be like. There is a lot of info given on how to be a good husband and a good wife. That's that. Thus, this whole thing shouldn't even be an issue. And no one here is calling MIL bad names.
I as an MIL, will give my son and my DIL the space that they want. I don't need to interfere in every decision they make. I have done enough in bringing up my son and giving him the education and maturity to make his own decisions. I made a family, now it's his turn to make his and he'll have to do that on his own. Now, why would there be friction b/w me and my DIL with such an attitude when I'll treat her as the rest of my daughters since I am the more experienced and older person - if i respect her she'll respect me just like with any other person. I'll remember the things i went through as a DIL - going to a new house, new people, the things i went through and felt and make sure my DIL doesn't have to go through any of those uncomfortable experiences and make her feel right at home. How hard can it be? Do we still have MIL's who wait to pounce on their son's wives and make it a battle of who has more control over him?
argghh this is so annoying - it's just a never ending debate!
Re: a gud daughter in law....
You think women can live their lives 'independantly' and be happy.
oh so a woman who's fated to not be married in this world, has no chance of living a happy life? Is that what you are saying? That happiness for a woman is relative to whether she is dependent on someone or not?