Well, objectively speaking, murder is murder...all the rest you mentioned is more like reckless abandonment.
The problem is that our own culture, which is based on patriarchial and feudal hindu background, has never really emphasized how a woman should really be treated. And yes, women are brainwashed into accepting it and moving on.
But other than talking to these ladies and trying them to see things in another way (without encouraging them to get divorces left and right), is pretty much the only thing anyone can do.
Keep your marriage intact. But make the hubby bend a little, just like he expects you to bend for him. Bend, in a symbolic sense, of course...
Leave 'em alone, its none of our business, once again galz are blaming the Guy....we got this info through third party; obviously she is going to portray "Him” Bad.
Funny thing is how galz have jump to defend that gal, and singing women liberation songs. Wow
PCG has wasted no time giving her stupid comments....and rest of "chamcha" galz have supported her,
No one had paid attention to what guy has done, when he picked her up from work,. any comments on that?
cz guys like you NEED that like PEANUTS to GORW UP and learn how to treat their WOMEN.
“stressed out”… how sweet is that, isnt it? “choice of words” was wrong? look how they cover their monster faces hidden underneath. exactly, it is immpossible to stay “careful” and not spill out your real intentions when these type of guys have to live with the girl. one day or the other, they would have to reveal their true characters such as above case where they guy clearly is tolerating the girl CZ OF WHAT SHE EARNS AND HER JOB and NOT cz he loves her.
you are putting the above idiot in place of brothers, sisters and parents? which brother, sister or parents threatens of throwing you out of the house if you lost your job??? Brothers, sisters, parents, and TRUE LOVE do not stay with their loved ones WITH ULTERIOR MOTIVES. they stay with them cz knowing that misunderstandings do not mean THERE IS NO LOVE and they are living together to serve their SELFISH MOTIVES!!!
look at what this guy says, “IF YOU LOST YOUR JOB, I WILL THROW YOU AT YOUR MOM’S HOUSE.” DOES IT RING ANY BELLS, MR. GUY? What is it that???
My husband? First of all, my husband WOULD NOT BE A JERK LIKE HIM OR LIKE ANYONE WHO DEFENDS SUCH MEAN BEHAVIOUR!!! If this guy had slightest of SELF RESPECT or RESPECT FOR HIS “WIFE”, he would have APOLOGISED in OPEN words and PROMISED not to behave like an animal in the future. then it was the wife’s choice to decide whether she wants him or not.
exactly, the day our girls WAKE UP and learn to stand for THE RESPECT THEY DESERVE, such @$$HOLES would not find a girl who thinks it is worth taking a risk for being with such IDIOTS and those who SUPPORT THEM.
PCG, just like the women are brain washed into accepting and living happily and quietly with such a degrading treatment, guys are also brain washed into believing that the things that makes them a “MAN” is treating their women like this. in other words, making them live in fear, accept everything their “man” does to them and wants from them and not say a word. And they feel rpoud of it and support this kind of attitude. This is why a small effort of trying to “bend” is useless. it is necessary to treat them the same way and give them back to show how much of a “man” they are.
Too influenced by hindu culture. Only if they learn a bit of muslim religion, the world would be a happier place and Islam would e respected for its’ marvellous teachings on the treatment of women by their men.
Sadiyah worse things have been said to me by those I love. I have also said worse things to them. Being in a relationship, be it with parents, siblings, friends or the significant other - doesnt mean one has to be sweet and loving and patient all the time. When we’re upset, our aim is to hurt the other person. I personally, when I am angry, say a lot of horrible things to those I love. But at the end of the day I end up loving them more, and they still love me. It’s how families and relationships work.
I have yet to meet a couple who dont have these fights. People always argue, and sometimes they say stupid things. In this case I agree that for him to make that comment was pathetic. But when I look back, hey I have told my loved ones to go to hell and what not!
Im not saying this behaviour is right. People should have more patience, and they shouldnt make stupid comments. But when we’re really angry/upset - all the sensible stuff goes out the window.
We dont know if hes treating her as a source of income. From what I read he also works. Plus we dont know the situation from his side or hers. We simply got a summary from a third party. We would have to know the couple ,and the situation, otherwise generalizing I know - but this is just a normal argument between two people and I dont see the big deal in it.
To jump to divorce and such, people who suggested that - may I ask whether you leave home or break off relationships when you have a minor argument with loved ones? I mean because he makes one stupid comment, a marriage has to end? Relationships are about pulling through and being there when the going gets tough. And its no joke. You have an issue, you sit down and work it out.
And to bring this whole issue of dominating men in Pakistani culture, thats ridiculous. Although that does happen, mayhap more often than we’d like to admit - its not always the case. We cant blame culture or men for everything that goes wrong in our desi society.
n really bacho ....divorce wasn't so much disliked by our Prophet(peace be upon him), for nothing.....so it would be great if we try to think a little before giving opinions in favour of divorce !
:)
Well said Muslim Queen.
This thread has been discussed in the light of information that is provided. Someone suggesting a divorce is as childish as the rubbish the guy uttered.
Miss TNW, please cut the caps and question marks..yeh koi saleeq-e-guftagoo nhin hai. :) It doesn't reflect your true self or maybe it does.
Mr. Fayz!!! This Is How I Talk To People Who Deserve This Attitude. You Can Continue Treating Your Wife The Way This Guy Did And Not Apologise And Continue To Defend These Acts. I Have Absolutely No Objections On That As Long As It Is Not Affecting my Life!!! If You Are Happy With Abusing Her Physically Or Verbally And Defending Such Acts By Other Guys On Online Boards, There Is Nothing Anyone Else Can Do Anything About It!!! Live Your Life The Way You Want To. But Remember It Is Only Your Wife Who Patiently Takes Your Crap. And There Are People Who Wont. So You Should Also Not Have Any Objection If They Do Not Want To Live The Kind Of Barbaric Lifestyle You Lead!!!
Thank You Very Much Now Go Away!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Just for the record, I never suggested divorce, as it isn't really a major issue. However, the fact that the husband pushed her to go work, else she goes back to her mother's house is what I would call extreme and harsh behaviour.
I know many men who work full-time, yet they prefer or force their wives to work, so the wife spends on herself rather than having the husband pay for her expenses.
In any case, I do agree that marriage is about working things out and sacrifice, but if I were in that lady's position I would confront the hubby about the statement that he made (go to work, else you're out).
No it wasn’t… but it was a lot of hardwork (every word starts with caps). My pride doesn’t allow me to attack you like you have done. Maybe you will learn a thing or two from me.
I am not defending the guy per say. I am questioning the ‘divorce on the spot’ wisdom of yours.
^ why he dared to make that statement in the first place was maybe cz he knew that he could get away with it. look the girl did not confront him. regardless of what he did afterwards, his statements truely shows his mentality and what and how he thinks about his "WIFE". ghussay mein sach baat hee nikalti hai na munh se jhoot nahi?
MQ: Its not about dominating men. Asking your husband to show you some respect on a regular basis is not equivalent to dominating him. You're dominating him when you're telling him to wipe the scum off your shoes with his shirt.
IF YOU ARE UNABLE TO UNDERSTAND THE ‘DIVORCE ON THE SPOT’ WISDOM THEN DEFINITELY YOU ARE UNABLE TO REALISE EVEN SLIGHTLY HOW LOW HIS STATEMENT WAS. IF YOU WERE NOT DEFENDING HIM, YOU SHOULD HAVE AGREED THAT HE NEEDED TO APOLOGISE OPENLY. BUT YOU DEFENDED HIM. FIRST OF ALL, IN ISLAM A WOMAN DOES NOT NEED TO WORK FOR THE GUY’S NEED. SHE IS ALLOWED TO WORK IF SHE WANTS FOR HERSELF BUT IT IS NOT A COMPULSION ON HER. SECONDLY, WHATEVER SHE EARNS IS OF HER OWN. THIS GUYS STATEMENT WAS FULL OF JAHALAT. NEITHER DOES HE KNOW SH!T OF HIS RELIGION NOR DOES HE HAS ANY ETIQUITES TO LIVE WITH A WOMAN!!! HE NEEDS TO GO TO THE JUNGLES AND LIVE WITH ANIMALS. AND YOU CAN ACCOMPANY HIM
