Re: A friend at work
what an idiot.
Re: A friend at work
i gues the only problem is that he just was angry about that last night she wasn’t at home.and they realy could take shower togheter.that would make relationship more hot.i think that wife should triy to come back at home everyday then she will not give the reason for husband to be jelouse and angry…
Re: A friend at work
if i was at your friend's place, i would have divorced him right on the spot instead of crying and complaining. he expressed his real thoughts. she would be crazy to continue to live with him and call him her "husband".
Re: A friend at work
Yes he is Pakistani who came here 5 years ago. She was born here.
Also, an update on the situation:
She told me today that after he picked her from work, he didn't say anything, but drove to the grocery store to buy her favourite ice cream. They didn't have any so they went home and he made her dinner (burnt hot dogs with half burnt buns, but it's the thought right?) and cut some fruit for her.
So I guess he felt bad but he couldn't bring himself to speak "SORRY".
Re: A friend at work
men 
egotistical maniacs
Re: A friend at work
Yup, a real man right there…
Re: A friend at work
male chuv....so sick
Re: A friend at work
Hate to burst bubbles here but Domestic abuse is a cycle of build-up, rage, guilt, and apology then starting all over again with build-up.
Buying things she'll like after being verbally or physically abusive is typical. Cycles like this accelerate and can get out of control in times of emotional stress (around holidays, work deadlines, etc). It sounds as though BOTH parties need help here, not just her or just him.
I am a bit concerned and don't know how you can possibly do this, but maybe some marriage counceling before it gets a lot worse.
Re: A friend at work
^ As if desis would ever go to a marriage counsellor to sort out their marital problems. They think they have the solution to all the problems, besides its somehow supposedly manly and okay for men to abuse their wives.
Ruiner, has he physically abused your friend?
Re: A friend at work
Why is everyone jumping to conclusions. So he yelled at her and was upset and later was sorry and got her ice cream and cooked her a meal. That sounds absolutely normal in a relationship. People fight, they yell. How can people assume its domestic abuse?
I do hope its not, but how can people just jump the gun like that. Just because we hear an incident where a guy yelled.
Re: A friend at work
Whats with girls handing out divorce nama like peanuts nowadays?
So the man got stressed out..he was getting late. Maybe his choice of words were not appropriate but you can’t be ‘careful’ with your family members all the time. How many times do brothers and sisters get into fights? Do they break relationships?
If your husband vents and you forgive him for realizing his mistake, without making him feel like a jerk, then you are the kind of girl every man would want. These days girls are too immature and egoistic to sustain a relationship…It’s not even worth taking a risk with an idiot.
Re: A friend at work
I don't think she should run for divorce or anything..that's not rational. However, he should not be speaking to her in that manner. Especially if they are planning to have children. You can't put each other down like that in front of your kids, it's just not healthy. Also, it's totally not Islamic. Another thing, they should get marriage counseling or see an Islamic counselor. Buying icecream and cooking dinner does not solve the problem this man has. He is seriously lacking in communication skills. Just because things have cooled down, does not mean that they have cooled down for life. Admi itne jaldse badal naye sakte. Obviously, he is feeling guilty. However, this doesn't mean the abuse just stops. Also, it IS abuse. It involved some degrading word choice, and he also threatened her. They both need help, and I hope they get it before they bring children into this world. inshAllah.
Re: A friend at work
jeez... we all have arguments.. give the guy a break.
the hubby-wife ristha is such a delicate yet strong relationship. Just cus he yelled at u doesnt mean u gotta go file for divorce the next day.
be patient and understanding... dont give him the 3rd degree after one small tantrum..
Re: A friend at work
MQ, how would you like it your husband tells you that you better get to work, else you're going to be sent back to your ammi jaan's house (God forbid)?
It's not the yelling or shouting that was bad, but what I found offensive was the fact that he seems to be treating her as a source of income.
Re: A friend at work
^ not really.. it was just one incident. We shouldnt be assuming so much about him..
He works himself.. if he wasnt, then maybe yeah he could be using her as a source of income.
Why not just put it aside as a lovers tiff?
Re: A friend at work
What else could it be.. Only desi men threaten to leave women at their parents home as if its a effing ehsaan their bestowing upon her parents.
Re: A friend at work
He is cheating on her. He is going late to work everyday that shows clearly how responsible he is? Obviously he doesnt care that even if he gets fired he got his working wife takingn care of finances.
How would handle this....
First off adults should not yell or shout it makes things worst.
he better have a really good reason to speak with me in a louder voice otherwise he will get it from me.
Why is it okay and acceptable for the society that guy can say " main tumhee apne mah ke ghar chor ao ga' why can ti say ' bakbak mat karo warna mein tumhe tumhari mah ke ghar peenkh ao gi". Whats wrong with it? why should guy get a break?
Re: A friend at work
^ he's cheating on her? aaii haiii
Re: A friend at work
^ True, this threat that is often posed to wives is utter childish bull. Shows how strong Pakistani women really are - they put up with so much crap from their husbands.
And no, she shouldn’t go get a divorce, and yes, blah blah blah they should work things through, but why can’t boys get it into their nuckleheads to treat their wives with respect? I’m sorry, is it so hard to respect another human being who is not that much different from you, except that she might have long hair, wear some laali, and has a flower instead of a sausage. :k:
Re: A friend at work
pcg lol@ flower and sausage
They are not strong they are told all their lives to hear BS from their in laws and husband. "bhale mar jao shuhar ka ghar choor ke na ana" you might as well kill me right now....Sorry but to me thats a weakness....
Why the fudge these husband understand they commit a murder every day.
To break wifes turst is a murder
to break her respect is a murder
to leave her in middle of no where is a murder
to cheat on her in a murder
murder does not have to be a physical does it?