When I saw her this morning her eyes were red and she was crying and I asked her if she is ok and what happened. She told me the story.
She said in the morning, her husband was in the washroom and she said she was going to take a shower. She said usually she takes a shower in the evening before sleeping but couldn’t last night due to whatever reason. He started shouting at her that they will be late. She is like well why are you shouting at me, you are always late to work anyways and leave the home at 9:00am every day, so what is the big deal if I take a 5 minute shower and it is only 8:30am. He started shouting again that you are wasting time and continued to get ready. Anyways, then she is like well I decided why don’t I stay home today and study for a mid-term next week. He started shouting again and said that if you get fired from your job, then I will go and throw you at your mom’s house. You will be happy there, they will fix you. Then he said I have had enough of your crap since day 1 of our marriage and I can’t take it anymore so you better f*ing get ready in 10 minutes and be downstairs. So she got ready and went down and he dropped her at work.
Anyways, this is what she told me. So do you think this is normal behaviour? What are your thoughts on this and what should she do/act in this situation.
All such girls need to understand that they have to stand up for their rights, no one is going to come and spoon feed them. she should have said him if he cannot affort her then why did he marry her.
Your friend knows the nature of her job better then anyone else. If she thought that taking off one day won't get her fired then she should have explained that to him.
She should talk to her husband and tell him that things are not going to improve if he doesn't change his attitude.
they both need to talk to ach other...if they still cant clear up any probs, they should talk to a marriage councellor (depending on where they are..doc may help locate one)
thats what I thought after the OP. as for the guy, something is obviously pissing him off. and that is what needs to be looked at. still doesn;t excuse his screaming at the nazuk biwi
Actually that was a pretty good piece of marital advice - spice it up a bit! Seriously though, it sounds like this couple hasn't been married long if they haven't figured out how to share the shower.
Is the husband going through some other tensions with regards to money, work pressures, his family, etc.? My husband will occasionally vent at me when he is upset by other issues, because he considers me a "safe" target (i.e. I'm not over the top dramatic like his mom or sisters, and I don't take it personally). That said, she needs to clearly define what is and is not acceptable - i.e. it's ok to have a go at her once and awhile, but no swearing.
The fact that he mentioned her job makes me wonder if the husband is feeling some financial pressure from somewhere. Is he supporting his parents and siblings, or do they depend on her job to help pay the bills? If I were her, I would be loving as usual tonight, but let him know without harping or moaning that its not acceptable to scream at her.
Hubby doesn't sound like a nice guy. Seems to me that he wants her to make money, else she's out the door. Very wrong attitude. She needs to make duaa and sort things out with her hubby, insha'Allah.
May Allah (SWT) make it easy for them and sort everything out for them for better, ameen.
Maybe hes got problems at work or with his immediate family shes not aware of? Snapping out like that is usually a sign of underlying problems/frustrations. Come on, you don't just shout at your wife over something so trivial as a shower. Or maybe hes just an asshole.
