Re: A Confusing situation
do you know what type of risthas a divorced girl with a kid gets ? .. probably a fat balding mans with 5 kids .. just marry this guy and mana his parents later ..
Re: A Confusing situation
A very good friend is having some trouble in her life. She got divorced from husband a few months ago. Also she has a child too.
Problem is not her divorce, it has occurred so noone can do anything to change it. But now her family wants her to get married again, and for this they (the family members) are looking for rishtas. She is kind of double minded and she says she can't live alone. Her family asks her if she likes someone then they would proceed.
A guy, who met her somewhere on internet and after a few weeks he got involved in her and proposed her, he said to her that he is ready to accept her child HAPPILY. She was impressed by him and she was happy to get a proposal from him BUT the problem is that the guy proposed her without getting any approval/consent of his family (parents). He already told my friend that it will be hard for him to convince his parents since she is divorced and also a mother of a child. but he made it sure that he will marry her no matter how much hard time he is going to have. Friend also told him that her family is looking for proposals and they won't wait if they get any ideal opportunity/proposal so it would be better if he starts convincing his parents to bring the proposal for her. In the beginning he kept on assuring her that he will work on this matter SOON. My friend was very upset and confused about what to do. She is too young and innocent, her family does not want her to live alone for the entire life. and personally. she is pretty and the only flaw (which the society's mindset has made) is that she is divorced, that's why she does not afford to reject any ideal proposal just for that guy. But the guy seems a little careless about it. according to my friend* "on phone he seems nice and loving plus mature, he cant be a lier, afterall he proposed me and ready to accept me with my past, noone can take such a big decision"* in short my friend is very much willing to be with him. About their contact, my friend never called him during his working hours. it was he who used to call her when he was on the way back to his home. so I know she has never been Nosey or attention seeker like any typical girl. my friend kept on reminding him to start proceeding this relation. and every time he used to say *"it's very hard for me to stand against my parents and talk to them about it, let me think I am tired. can we talk on this topic later please?" *bla bla
Latest situation is that the guy says he has talked to his parents and as it was expected, his parents specially the mother got flared up and argued with him, as result he left his home and now it's been one week he is spending his nights in his car or at any friend's home" that's what he told to my friend. This thing makes sense that he can leave his home bla bla but the actual confusion is that he does not contact my friend now. My friend tries to contact him but he does not give any response and whenever he responds after so many attempts. he says* " I am UPSET blabla"* My friend is worried about him but he never calls her back. in this whole one week he talked to her hardly just for 1 or 2 times. She is confused she can't tell her parents without being assured that he will bring the proposal. we don't know his intentions.
Now do you think that he Lies? I mean maybe he is lying that he is out of his home. do you think he is avoiding her for some reason? If any other proposal comes for her then should she tell her family to proceed that proposal? or she should wait?
I believe she should not waste her time as I don't trust that guy after his ajeeb ajeeb conflicting statements
These are my perceptions but I thought I should take some serious advice for her as she is quite upset these days, I can't see her sadness, she already has suffered a lot because of her past.
i dont believe the guy-my suggestion for your friend: stay away!
Re: A Confusing situation
also ask your friend, not to underestimate herself! divorced and having a baby doesnt close the doors for her for having good proposals! also she has already gone through a bad experience in her first marriage, she should think thousand times before getting into another relationship.. like the other deserves her or not!!
Re: A Confusing situation
Yeah no. Any guy who does this for some random chick over the net is not mentally stable.
Re: A Confusing situation
Hey does your friend live in Pakistan?
If in the west, maybe she should go for a man of non-pakistan origin. Would her parents mind? She is divorced and let's be honest here, that significantly lowers the chances of a good proposal.
Re: A Confusing situation
Um, I don't see why she should be confused.
There is a very simple answer to all of this...since he won't tell her what's going on...he has made it ONLY his own problem.
So let HIM deal with HIS problems and tell your friend to move on.
i say she should consider other proposals. this guy may have his best intentions, but it is difficult to stand against your parents. i personally think he should return home and not quarrel with his parents. InshAllah your friend will find someone who will take good care of her and her kid.
Re: A Confusing situation
Um, I don't see why she should be confused.
There is a very simple answer to all of this...since he won't tell her what's going on...he has made it ONLY his own problem.
So let HIM deal with HIS problems and tell your friend to move on.
i say she should consider other proposals. this guy may have his best intentions, but it is difficult to stand against your parents. i personally think he should return home and not quarrel with his parents. InshAllah your friend will find someone who will take good care of her and her kid.
This reminds me another statement I was told that came from him. In the last phone call, she even asked him to back off if he cannot manage and go back to home, she won’t mind and won’t create any kind of problem for him but the guy said “I am doing this for MYSELF not for YOU, I am not even in contact with you, it is you who call me and ask what’s going on. My happiness is supposed to be important for my parents”
To me, this is kind of weird statement. I mean what would he do if my friend gets another proposal, how would he know what’s going on at her side? What’s the point of doing all this then? I asked her to stay calm and don’t try to catch him. If he is sincere then he will call you meanwhile if someone else brings proposal then let your parents proceed that one.
Yeah no. Any guy who does this for some random chick over the net is not mentally stable.
The guy seems clever. He gave many statements to her that she finds solid. For instance; “I believe I will be happy with you because you have gone through a bad experience and obviously you will be careful with your second husband in the future… I don’t want any typical wife, I need a mature and sensible lady who would be able to make me feel comfortable with her…., I want to change the society’s mind set about the divorced ladies…. bla bla..
Hey does your friend live in Pakistan?
If in the west, maybe she should go for a man of non-pakistan origin. Would her parents mind? She is divorced and let's be honest here, that significantly lowers the chances of a good proposal.
Unfortunately we both are in pakistan. I have no idea what would her parents think in case she finds some guy having other origin. Overall they are ready to accept her choice but since they are very much concerned about her future so definitely they will do some investigation before doing anything further no matter how much she is willing.
Re: A Confusing situation
I think she should follow her parents and should not select the guy by herself.
Re: A Confusing situation
do you know what type of risthas a divorced girl with a kid gets ? .. probably a fat balding mans with 5 kids .. just marry this guy and mana his parents later ..
Any idea what kind of rishtas a girl who can't type correctly or spell correctly gets?
Me neither. Report back in a couple of years and let us all know.
Re: A Confusing situation
Tentukuls Mam, kindely tel me pleez if the Soni is stil the singul? 
Re: A Confusing situation
^ If I could figure out what you were saying, I would gladly oblige.
Re: A Confusing situation
Ink for branes ladie? I am tellyn ya Ime intrusted in her. Hook me up alreddy. 
Re: A Confusing situation
In simple words she needs to forget about this guy.
Re: A Confusing situation
RV pretty much summed it up quite nicely.
Daal mai kuch kaala hai. You need to just back away and not call him at all. Delete his number if that helps. I think he was nothing more than a liar. And your friends reminding him to ask him parents got him frustrated so he made up all these lies about leaving the house.
Why would he leave the house only not to talk to your friend? If he didnt want to talk to her he could've stayed at home and just agreed to his parents. But he did the whole leaving crap to try and make your friend feel a little guilty. Find someone else. This guy is just an immature little wart.
Re: A Confusing situation
finding rishtas on internet is very risky be it your 1st marriage , 2nd or 3rd ......it should not be a considerable option. Seeing is believing and there are too many evil people out there. Plus , now your friend have another life to think about before she go on any such venture and this becomes even more risky when the child is a girl. Your friend should think a zillion times about the safety of her child before even considering the rishta.
I am not doubting her love or concerns as a mother but right now she should think of her kid 1st before herself and should refrain herself from getting into any such mess.
Re: A Confusing situation
meshwaray e daitay ja rehay ho ye to pta kr lo kehin us bibi ne shadi kr to nei li.
Re: A Confusing situation
^ 
no that guy is disappeared that’s why this thread was created.
Re: A Confusing situation
The guy seems clever. He gave many statements to her that she finds solid. For instance; “I believe I will be happy with you because you have gone through a bad experience and obviously you will be careful with your second husband in the future… I don’t want any typical wife, I need a mature and sensible lady who would be able to make me feel comfortable with her…., I want to change the society’s mind set about the divorced ladies…. bla bla..
LOL
THere is nothing solid about these statements. They are very predictable and common lines used by some men to prey upon women who are emotionally weak.
If he really meant what he said...it would have happened by now or at the very least his attitude/approach to this matter would have been VERY different.
Re: A Confusing situation
The guy seems clever. He gave many statements to her that she finds solid. For instance; “I believe I will be happy with you because you have gone through a bad experience and *obviously you will be careful with your second husband in the future… *
This sounds like he believes the divorce was her fault.
Re: A Confusing situation
dual personality disorder…self conversating multies…