Re: A complicated matter
well you are friends with him for 10 years. You asked for advice. I almost see it as ur responsibility to talk to him about it and let him know thats how you feel. It's upto him if he chooses to listen to you or not but atleast that way he knows your take on it (esp if he has asked for your opinions on the matter).
Re: A complicated matter
i completely agree with you hulahoop but what can i do
Tell A to give H one last piece of advice before backing off............... to get her family involved, H definitely needs helps but A is the wrong person to help her
Re: A complicated matter
guacamoleeee!
im thinking. lets avoid it all. im changing my number no?
Re: A complicated matter
Deeeeeeee! :D
You mean cutting all communication off with A? tsk tsk that is not the way to go
Re: A complicated matter
it seems so much easier
Re: A complicated matter
it seems so much easier
just tell him to stay away and see how he reacts
Re: A complicated matter
In life, there are two paths: path of least resistance and the correct path. Sometimes they are the same. This time around, the path of least resistance is to change your number and cur off all communications with A. This would be fine if you did not know him for 10 years, did not respect him a lot, and did not find him to be a decent and honorable person. Since this is not the case, you owe it to your friendship to do what is in A's best interest - tell him how you feel about this situation.
Af
ter doing so, if A continues to pester and hound you to get involved, by all means, change your number.
Re: A complicated matter
@Southie i was just being silly. sigh i was looking to the path of least resistance. but its not something that i can really do ever. i wont be able to live with myself in that situation. another morning, another day, lets see what happens
Re: A complicated matter
^ Sorry about that! I missed it :)
Re: A complicated matter
@Southie np 
Re: A complicated matter
^ What does the gobblygook "
qtNV3pOqcjI">qtNV3pOqcjI" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" width="425" height="350">"
signify?
Re: A complicated matter
i just cant post youtube videos anymore. that was my attempt
Re: A complicated matter
OK - It has been tough getting sleep last few weeks - dont ask!
Here is how I post videos. Let us assume you want to embed the link below:
copy the stuff that comes after v= and do exactly as below
{yt}uOhin2_QIYQ{/yt}
except replace { by and } by ]
Hope it works
Re: A complicated matter
Re: A complicated matter
^ I think this is what you wanted to post?
Re: A complicated matter
A is not the person to solve H's marital problems and is infact hindering H's ability to handle her own marriage issues as, I'm guessing, (and it's highly probable), that she has feelings for him too..?
I think you need to make A see that it is not his place to try and help H. It's up to H to try and solve her own issues! She's not a teenager, she is 25. And if she was mature enough and wise enough to pursue this love marriage against her parents wishes, then she is strong enough and wise and mature enough to get herslef out of this mess!..without the help of A. Does H not have one single female friend she can trust? A cousin maybe? Sister?..
It seems like H is doing nothing for herself and is hoping that A will step in and be her knight in shining armour and solve all her marital problems.
Another possibility...
How does anyone, including A, know that what H is saying goes on is really true? She might not be happy in her marriage for some other reason and instead of confronting her doubts/issues re: her marriage, she instead enlists the help of A to solve her issues by feeding him sob stories of something that infact, may or may not have actually happened, or happened in the exact way she has described..?
I dunno.. I don't think I am making much sense here. I just think it's no business of A and he should step away before he makes matters worse. He should cut out the "after hours" long phone conversations and keep his relationship with H a formal teacher-student one.
Re: A complicated matter
^ I think this is what you wanted to post?
Yes. That is H
"when talking leads to touching.."
I love the song
Re: A complicated matter
A is not the person to solve H's marital problems and is infact hindering H's ability to handle her own marriage issues as, I'm guessing, (and it's highly probable), that she has feelings for him too..?
I think you need to make A see that it is not his place to try and help H. It's up to H to try and solve her own issues! She's not a teenager, she is 25. And if she was mature enough and wise enough to pursue this love marriage against her parents wishes, then she is strong enough and wise and mature enough to get herslef out of this mess!..without the help of A. Does H not have one single female friend she can trust? A cousin maybe? Sister?..
It seems like H is doing nothing for herself and is hoping that A will step in and be her knight in shining armour and solve all her marital problems.
Another possibility...
*How does anyone, including A, know that what H is saying goes on is really true? She might not be happy in her marriage for some other reason and instead of confronting her doubts/issues re: her marriage, she instead enlists the help of A to solve her issues by feeding him sob stories of something that infact, may or may not have actually happened, or happened in the exact way she has described..? * I dunno.. I don't think I am making much sense here. I just think it's no business of A and he should step away before he makes matters worse. He should cut out the "after hours" long phone conversations and keep his relationship with H a formal teacher-student one.
@Barfii what u said there was what did strike me too! and who knows..that could be true.
Re: A complicated matter
^^ And that's what you should say to A and hopefully he'll back off. His involvement will only complicate the situation (whatever situation that may be - we don't know exactly what the situation is as we don't know H personally.)
I smell trouble...
Re: A complicated matter
im still collecting opinions barfii. you know, boys can be very defensive about whomever they consider damsels in distress. plus he is older than me and generally he is the one who gives ME good advice, so i have to walk a fine line when advising him anything
