I dont understand why most couples fail to have a balanced life meaning be able to have a good marriage working along with their social life intact too. I see most of the time the girls get too possesive of their husbands and wouldnt leave them even for a sec lol. It’s like;
Wife: i want to go to my parent’s place Hubby: ok sure
Wife: but how can i go without you? come with me Hubby: no i am busy with work or no i think you should spend time with yr family alone or no i am not comfortable, etc etc Wife: ok than plan cancelled
:halo:
I mean hello?!? you were living with your parents before and were able to exist with your husband so why can’t you spend a day alone with him now?.
And when it comes to the boys…before marriage its frnds frnds frnds and only frnds…parents complaining that why dont they spend time with them and are all day @ frnds place…but after marriage the frnds are complaining…
Friend: Yaar its been long how about we go for cricket (which we have played religiously all our life before you got married) this saturday? Married Friend: No yaar i am going to be busy with wife since saturdays and sundays are off and and wifey time… Friend: But yar spending one saturday with me wont do any damage to your married life Married Friend: But she will be all alone…with my family, ofcourse! lol
So yah why is that the case?. Why can’t wives be able to give their family the time they might wanna spend with their daughters alone without having their son-in-law prancing around them. And Why can’t the husbands take one saturday off in 6 months to spend with their childhood friends?.
Having said that, i do know that life after marriage is ofcourse not same as before. You can’t afford to spend time with friends as much as you like or would have spent before. BUT it shouldnt go from too much to nothing.
How do you guys manage all this? And what are your thoughts on it?.
^ ok this is a different thread so dont mix it with samra's thread :) And i agree with you that women are too sensitive at times but thats more so cuz at times men are very insensitive :).
well...its obvious...sum ppl love eachother and dont want to do anything alone.....but i have hardly seen any examples like u have mentioned Maham...
ppl do it..but only in the first few years of their marriage...after that..its always u and me..not us!!
know your limits.. every relationship has limits.. and for Allah's sake take life a little easier on yourself and make ur marriage a fun relationship.. treat him/her as a best friend and i am sure you will go the distance..
there is a saying at work that we use a lot regarding web developerment -- dont' worry too much about scalability issues...
i think the same goes for marriage.. dont' worry too much about long term/going the distance.. focus on short term goals and your long term will work out just fine..
The thing is maham, when ur married u do wana do things with ur husband and vice versa, u do wana spend tht one day with him and vice versa…its fair i think, but i do agree to u as well that there could be one instant where husbands or wives should have the choice to spend a day maybe in 6 months with their friends…
i live in canada, but when i went to pakistan last year, i literally had to drag my married friends out to spend one saturday or sunday iwth me, their exuses were “miyan aik din ghar par hota hai tu mushkil hota hai” i understand all that, but yar one day wouldnt harm any relationship…like if i wana meet up one of my friends on the weekends maybe once in four months i dont think my husband would or should have any issues…
well...its obvious...sum ppl love eachother and dont want to do anything alone.....but i have hardly seen any examples like u have mentioned Maham...
ppl do it..but only in the first few years of their marriage...after that..its always u and me..not us!!
i do not completely agree with u, it depends from couple to couple......but yes one important thing to in a marriage is that i fu love each other, u would never wana have this concept or U AND ME in ur relationship.....the rest circumstances can prevail....
Maham, I think this is a balance thing and in each marriage there is a different balance. I truly believe that for a marriage to be feel fresh and alive it is important that the husband and wife take some time off from each other as well. And the ppl that existed in his/her life still exist and its necessary to give them time and attention as well. When the wife takes time out and goes to beauty salon/parlour.... the guy can use that time to meet/catch up with his friends. In terms of going to each other's parents home, compromise can be reached that the girl can spend time at her parent's home when he is working late.... that way both of them can be in their home at the same time.... and once a week get together with his and her family for dinner or lunch isn't a difficult chore.... it does take some time for the husband and wife to realize what is important to the other......
give em a year btw, to be all into each other and not wanna spend a weekend apart, after that, then start complaining that they're too into each other and are having problems with wanting to be together :)
after marriage ur life changes so therefore something's go out of thier place which is bound to be the reason of having a unbalance life we shouldnt always expect the other to change for us, if we love them truly then we should try to adjust with what they really are
ya….but ofcourse there are going to be change and both should be ready and adaptable to it.
well...its obvious...sum ppl love eachother and dont want to do anything alone.....but i have hardly seen any examples like u have mentioned Maham...ppl do it..but only in the first few years of their marriage...after that..its always u and me..not us!!
Excuse me? I don’t think that’s necessarily love if you can’t leave your spouse alone. It very well could mean you don’t have trust in them or are too possessive about them. As for the examples I gave well they might be exaggerated a bit but the reality is not far from it. If this happens in the initial years than that’s even worse because than after few years they blame each other for having given up their individual life lol…and hence in the end they think they only gave in for the marriage, which isn’t a happy thought.
and what exactly is wrong with doing everything with your significant other?
just the fact that everyone has a right over you…your wife, your parents, your siblings, your friends and you should be have a place for everyone in your life.
The thing is maham, when ur married u do wana do things with ur husband and vice versa, u do wana spend tht one day with him and vice versa......its fair i think, but i do agree to u as well that there could be one instant where husbands or wives should have the choice to spend a day maybe in 6 months with their friends.....
i live in canada, but when i went to pakistan last year, i literally had to drag my married friends out to spend one saturday or sunday iwth me, their exuses were "miyan aik din ghar par hota hai tu mushkil hota hai" i understand all that, but yar one day wouldnt harm any relationship........like if i wana meet up one of my friends on the weekends maybe once in four months i dont think my husband would or should have any issues..........
ya but the issue is those people like yr friends lol rite now they r saying this later on they are not gonna talk about it but complain about it...and have bitter memories abt their marriage and how they only sacrificed n all that.
And what are your thoughts on it?.