4 Wives

[Deela]

BACK!

To begin wiht ^ some analitical obervations monk.

secondly: Psqaured and FRUSTRATED *RV- *, is there any rule than prevents any one from posting in anyones thread. Nutwer just seems like a man who could relate.

Atleast there are a few supporters in my noble cause.

All i said was that ive orgnaized ways of legal and fair multiple marriages.-

I could understnd the bashing i recieved earlier on my pre-marriage promiscuity fantasies.

But i dont understand why do women still stress when Ive devised a now legal and fair way?
Any-answers? Pls note I earlier diffused multiple children issues.

And isnt it better a man being honest and upfront on additional requirments than do it hiddenly.

crazy chicks on the loose

[Ladlee21]

Re: 4 Wives

^lolzz

[tammy8604]

Re: 4 Wives

would be kinda cool if you marry 4 bisexuals.

[PyariCgudia]

Re: 4 Wives

Deela if you got ONE woman, that'd keep YOU busy enough.

[Deela]

No kush-femi RV. I just acknowledge Monks funny contribution to my thread.

but wonder WHY DO U need to go to such long lengths to exonerate yourself..

The man was joking.

OK lets get back to my 4 wives topic.

RV and rest, I answered all your problemsquetsion in previous oage.

[redvelvet]

Re: 4 Wives

Okay DEELA. I too was acknowledging the content of the contributions you BOTH made in this thread.

"exonerate"? Huh? You mean to clear oneself of an accusation or guilt? I wasn't aware that I had any accusations or guilt to clear up. You, on the other hand, instead of discussing the consequences of an issue maturely.........feel the need to "exonerate" yourself through your polygamy defending posts.

For example, your idea of multiple wives appearing happy is not a definite indication of happiness. Just because a person smiles for one or two days doesn't mean that things are just peachy behind the four walls of their home.

I never said "the man" wasn't joking. Rather.....I returned his joke....with a little joke of my own.

[PyariCgudia]

Re: 4 Wives

I wouldn't get too worked up about this kid. He's probably some bored college student enjoying the reactions when he really should be studying for some test.

[Kinzz]

Re: 4 Wives

^

[ll_xx_ll]

I wouldn't get too worked up about this kid. He's probably some bored college student enjoying the reactions when he really should be studying for some test.

hahahahahahahaha too funny hahahaha

[Deela]

PCG:- u label me as an immature person- oK lets take the other side:

what about thosse- pakistani-muslim-married-well educated-decent familied-loving wives having men---CHEATING OUT THERE!
Do you think they never had inclinations in the past- or because they are so 'mature'- it just 'happned' once or twice or thrice..... etc. Look at the relevant Life1 threads for proof.
You are being particularly subjective.

WOMEN ARE MONOGAMOUS MEN ARE POLYGAMOUS BY NATURE: Religion and modern science CONFIRMS it.--.

-Il shortlist you sources of both proofs if you want.

Rudeness is not appreciated and will recieve equivalentish replies.

Mia-Redvelvet, its nice to hear you were only returning the jokes with monk.-So was I.

Moving on, This thread is a discussion, where exchanging and explaining opnions is to happen.

I have not forwarded illegal ideas so I wonder why you would need to think I am 'exonerating' myself- maybe justifying but not exonerating.
And as far as I know there is no G.S limit on the level of threads or posts allowed.

Any-ways people lets not diverge and come back to the topic. I appreciate all ladies to 'properly' see my recent (page 5-7) longer explanatory post prior to comments.

cheers.

[redvelvet]

@Deela

PCG:- u label me as an immature person- oK lets take the other side: ** PCG wasn't the only one to bestow such a fitting label upon thou. Others (apart from myself included) have also called you "immature."

** what about thosse- pakistani-muslim-married-well educated-decent familied-loving wives having men---CHEATING OUT THERE! Do you think they never had inclinations in the past- or because they are so 'mature'- it just 'happned' once or twice or thrice..... etc. Look at the relevant Life1 threads for proof. You are being particularly subjective.

Defensive argument. Just because other people (male and female.....husbands and wives.......married and single.........old or young) are doing something wrong or immoral....................does not mean that I should copy their poor example. For example, if I have the desire to murder someone, it doesn't mean that I should support my sick inclinations with examples of "other female murderers" out there. Just because a crowd of people are jumping off a cliff, doesn't mean you should follow them as well.

WOMEN ARE MONOGAMOUS MEN ARE POLYGAMOUS BY NATURE: Religion and modern science CONFIRMS it.--.

Religion (Islam, Quran, Allah) and perhaps even science also confirm that human nature is weak and impulsive and self-centered. But we are also advised by religion to rise above these weaknesses that are present in our NATURE.........and use common sense and our conscience to separate ourselves from animals.

-Il shortlist you sources of both proofs if you want.

Provide us a source of using common sense. And then follow it.

Rudeness is not appreciated and will recieve equivalentish replies.

"Equivalentish"...........???? By now, I just take it that you're oblivious to the fact that certain ways of writing can sound "effeminate."..........not a very positive thing for a guy.

Mia-Redvelvet, its nice to hear you were only returning the jokes with monk.-So was I.

Okay.

Moving on, This thread is a discussion, where exchanging and explaining opnions is to happen.

It already has happened. Much of it was not discussed. Much of it from your part....was just based upon assumptions. ** I have not forwarded illegal ideas so I wonder why you would need to think I am 'exonerating' myself- maybe **justifying but not exonerating. And as far as I know there is no G.S limit on the level of threads or posts allowed.

You just don't get it, do you? NOBODY HAS SAID THAT POLYGAMY IS ILLEGAL. So why don't you just STOP** telling us that you're not advocating something that is haram. WE ALREADY KNOW THAT POLYGAMY IS LEGAL AND ALLOWED AND NOT HARAM in Islam.**** We were only discussing the impacts of polygamy on women and children. And that is the argument you failed to explain. Everyone knows that even divorce in Islam is allowed. But people CAN discuss the impacts of divorce on the individuals involved. So.........how would you plan to meet the emotional (not sexual or financial needs) of your multiple wives and children?**

Any-ways people lets not diverge and come back to the topic. I appreciate all ladies to 'properly' see my recent (page 5-7) longer explanatory post prior to comments.

Nobody is diverging from the topic. You say you have polygamous inclinations. And the only lame and defensive argument that you keep repeating is that polygamy is legal and not haram. WE ALREADY KNOW THAT. But you never discuss how it will affect family life. So, to avoid discussing this issue........you keep reminding us that what you're proposing is not haram. DUH! If debating is not one of your strong suits..........then don't bother marrying more than one wife. Because I doubt you'll be able to handle the intelligent arguments you'll be bombarded with from more than one biwi.

cheers.

^ Yes let's all toast to Deela's perpetual befuddlement.

[Deela]

Redvelvet you clearly sound frustrated. You have once again replied in a demeaning and mocking and unnecceserery way to me.
As most others on this thread you have clearly missed*,* my **earlier post addressing solutions to the **issues raised here to me of observing polygamous relations. This post was a 2 or 3 pages back. I urge viewers to see that and lend feedbacks.

and you RV without observing context keep coming back to making me look like a narrow-minded guy who just wants to be polygamous.

This is totally incorrect. I do understand the implications and made fair and sensible addresses of it earlier- which I am only urging people here to turn back to and comment on.

I would appreciate 'rational' minded people flip back to my earlier paged long post that ALREADY ADDRESSED ALL of the claims this RV is ranting. RV you clearly look frustrated and agitated, and I repeat Im am not directing questions towards you so are not obligated and can take out a break.

Yes I have would like more than one wife, and I am considering the the various implications.

If first or potential wife would have issues than thats another topic.

I have addresseD few of problems, the discussion goes on.
Pls continue feedbacks and relevant opnions (the better with respect) freely.

[redvelvet]

Ok Ladies Deela is back:

Since the Prophet (pbuh) was infallible, he did only right and good, therefore it is 'recommended' to look at him. And hence whatever is part of his sunnah **is Allowable. **The Prophet (pbuh) came to teach how to live. I did not use the sunnah of nabi-pak and/or his sahabies to say I am recommended/obligated to follow him. I stated that merely as counter-argument to the lady who tried fatwaing me from the koran that men should not be polygamous. - Word of advice, before people extract random ayats or hadiths they should ensure they also have correct comprehension- else they mislead themselves and others.

Before you start saying that the Prophet SAW's polygamy was recommended: Keep in mind that he was not a man who was consumed by lusts. Sex was not the basis for his multiple marriages. So if you truly are going to follow the lifestyle of the Prophet SAWS.................then you should also try to make sure that the PREDOMINANT BASIS for your multiple marriages is NOT sex. If you can't follow this "sunnah" "recommendation"...............................then go ahead and follow the "sunnah" of some Sahaba whose lifestyle better fits your own motives. Also keep in mind that the Prophet SAWS was married to Hazrat Khadija who was 15 YEARS OLDER than him for many years. But yet during the years of their marriage................even though she was aging faster.............he remained faithful to her. He didn't do taank jhaank at the younger looking women. He wasn't consumed by sexual thoughts to the point that he ALWAYS complained and talked about them. He remained FAITHFUL and MONOGAMOUS toward Khadija. So why don't you ALSO try to follow the Prophet's "sunnah" of decency. Later on...........in order to protect women from the dangerous consequences of becoming a widow..........and to establish a unified community..................he married multiple times. And not all of those wives were beautiful. Some were probably older than him and already had kids. His main reason for marrying them was NOT beauty.........or sex........or to get a "TASTE"** of what another woman feels like. You are ONLY concentrating on the fact that the Prophet SAWS married multiple times*...............................why don't you* ALSO try to follow the "sunnah" of his decent and respectable mentality? Sex was not the guiding force for his multiple marriages. ** If the Prophet SAWS could remain monogamous to Khadija..............then I think that if he was never assigned by Allah with the mission to preach Islam and to unify the Muslim world and to protect the widowed women..........................he would perhaps continue to remain monogamous to Khadija because from the get-go........he was never a man ruled by lusts..**

Oh and I read through what you call your "explanation." And in that post you never mentioned how you would deal with the emotional insecurities your multiple wives and children resulting from those marriages would face. You simply said that a desperate "pretty widow" wouldn't mind being treated like a lesser wife provided that you offer her financial security. Well.........women require more than just financial security, which can't compensate for frequent emotional insecurity.

It's possible that just by getting the "experience" of one wife.......will be enough.........for you to realize that it's difficulty to start multiple relationships. When one does not have the experience of even a single marriage......let alone relationship.......it's foolish to assume that the financial requirements of 4 wives and their emotional issues would be a "piece-of-cake" to handles. Sorry..........but according to the views of many on here..........that's not mature let alone intelligent thinking.

.

[Niksik]

Re: 4 Wives

[mod] People, please stop right here and control your emotions. Can you all stick to the topic instead of attacking members personally, or is it that hard? Warnings will be issued to any member that is out of line. Your cooperation is greatly appreciated. [/mod]

[Deela]

Re: 4 Wives

RV I dont mean to offend you. But you clearly miscomprehended the paragraph you were replying to in your blue highlights.
I never came down from the basis i should be poygamoys because it was a sunnah and a big swaab.
And even if i did come from that basis, you are nobody to judge whether i qualify for it or not on any grounds.

And for your info-much of your islamic-moral lecture is under-researched and missing vital parts. I do not want to start lectures on the prophets (pbuh) sexuality (pbuh) and his various types of sexual advices to others- which would break down much of your post and 'khush-femis'.
Much to your dismay Many of his advices to sahabies included purely sexual incentives.
Maybe we can properly share this soon on another thread-----;)

Lets stay to topic on hand.

[Sara516]

Re: 4 Wives

[mod] Name calling will not be tolerated. If you all cannot conduct yourselves in a mature and civilized manner, threads will be locked and warnings will be issued!!! [/mod]

[mahismart]

OK guys this is the plan: I will marry the first one as my proper wife. She'll be the first love I fall for i.e the pakistani, good-looking decent middle class educated respected guppan type; and correspondingly l will love her loads and give her highest respect. OK so she would be set as my 'main-foremost-best' wife, in any case.

BTW, are you going to share this plan with Biwi#1 before you marry her or afterwards?

[Deela]

Re: 4 Wives

B4 - I belive in honesty. However I do understand such a lady could be apprehensive.

Im re-posting my earlier reply below which addressed the earlier concerns raised.

[Deela]

(ORIGINAL POST FROM PAGE 5)

Ok Ladies Deela is back: (Note I have purposly included lightheartedness/straightforwardnessin my posts-because i want to give an honest view of pre-married and post-married male mentality- and Honesty is good

I will concisely address the points raised in one post.

1) I dont back up Polgamy from the ‘Prophets sunnah’. ‘Sunnah’ only means 'lifestyle/tradition of something. You could have the ‘sunnah’ of Muhammad (pbuh), or you could have the ‘sunnah’ of H.Umer or you could have the sunnah of the ‘marai masa’ kenyan tribe.

Since the Prophet (pbuh) was infallible, he did only right and good, therefore it is ‘recommended’ to look at his ‘sunnah’. hence whatever is part of his sunnah **is Allowable. **The Prophet (pbuh) came to teach how to live.
I did not use the sunnah of nabi-pak and/or his sahabies to say I am recommended/obligated to follow him. I stated that merely as counter-argument to the lady who tried fatwaing me from the koran that men should not be polygamous. - Word of advice, before people extract random ayats or hadiths they should ensure they also have correct comprehension- else they mislead themselves and others.
**Once again, I dont back Polygamy from the Prophets sunnah, I implied his and his sahabies instances just to illustrate it is allowable.
**

2) Ladies often mock men about thier uncontrolleble and pervy desires. Ok lets assume in that Big-Picture God did not give men the urges. Thus, We men would remain ‘throughout rational’ and realise you are infact big burdens and dont extremly need you and can continue on peacefully until maybe 30-35 when our careers and resources are ideal to marry- but by that the woman reproductive clock is near to end- and unideal for them to marry. Hence it will be WOMENS ULTIMATE LOSS- if men did not have the strong sexual need.–the need which inclines them to marry soon.
Assuming the above scenario, some men will possibly prefer to ‘go-without’ marriage throughout thier lives and happily avoid the many burdens that come along.
The world population of women has always been higher than men and if the all the above happened there will be more women left unmarried. Civilisation would cease.

So- Why there are so social problems today- This is because today is not like the day 1400 years ago day. Then Life was ‘simpler’. Boys-Men could marry at a younger ages because a four walled clay/brick house easily contructeble and basic amenities easily achievable would be enough to suffice families.
Todays world compared to the past one is totally different dimension as we know.
It takes usually more time for a man to become independant and fully resourceful,
However bio-makup is the same, and strong and consistant urge, will logically have trouble being resisted for so long.
IM not sideing with either gender- just saying the truth.

3) The issue of the offspring generated from the associated additional wives is a serious one. Branches of families emerging I agree is not good.
Yes I do not prefer do this. so cancel this kind of marriage.

However, where theres will there ofcourse remains a way!
There are many needy pakistani ‘pretty widows’ having few kids or a needy paki barren/divorced women who would be more than happy to take a second place as opposed to no other place.
To many in Pak some kind of deal would be better than no ever deal.
And since I am a principled man, both parties would be made absolutely clear before marriage about expectations in this case.

And As earlier requested for no Islamic quotations, I will not. But I’ll confidently say it is **not unislamic to desire a women for her beauty or sexual feature’.
**Furthermore, This is exemplified by the way many desire the opposite sex for thier money, wealth, property, fame, education, character, green card, or other ‘charms’
C’mon **We All Do It. - **some are open some not.

4) My assertion of a SUPER FIRST WIFE: Ok understood in many cases she would not approve of second wife.
But lets say even if she were SUPER (By Allahs grace) in all. We ‘silly’ men often still get ‘bored’ of the same thing. And I Worry about this

Ok I will upfront: I also want a taste of more than one lady in my life. Because I like them.-- Im not ashamed of it.

If you ladies agree we men have polygamous natures. Then u should understand we feel that way, and men operating daily in modern City enviroments will be bombareded daily by the fitna of different women- especially if you are working closely on somthing.
Yes, **** men are indeed ‘selfish’ and curb to thier attraction in the hope it will remain hidden from wives. Some men are ‘unsatisfied’ by thier current relation- and need an alternate release.
Or occasionally a really beautiful, nice, unrejectable girl may approach a good man herself, which even the best of men can have trouble from.

Now ladies: a combo of:
strong innate feelings + constant plethora of stimulants = Trouble in Head.

And added, some ladies are some women are ‘purposly’ and ‘ruthlessly’ out there to get ‘that’ man.

Yeh I know this all sounds a babyish upfront but I am simply telling you what goes in every modern mans mind! Those men who say or act like they dont-- they lie.
Ofcourse some of us have strong Iman. But we’re all men at day end.

OK you ladies dissallowed and refuted all my arguments having a girlfriend before marriage. -I submitted to that.
Naturally, now talking about Legal ladies post marriage - still you seem to have a problem!

**I know it all sounds babyyish, and I easily know I could stop all this jibberish, by doing do the biz behind backs.
But that dont suit me…!
**
And I cant ask this stuff to a fair lady in person- cos then i would sound Deela.

Thats why I am asking for advice!

But Kindly Pls be patient and understanding in forwarding your thoughts.

Cool.

Yes thanks for reading the essay. (apologies from spelling mistakes.- wrote fast.)

[chicagoin]

ewww yuck no... i can't believe people still do this in today's day and age.. where are these marriages taking place, pakistan or usa or uk?? because the only place i can think of is pakistan (backwards soceity)