^ My apologies Deela, Patriot, and anyone else who found those choice of words offensive. I had worded the above quoted comment in a general way.
It's over-simplifying things by expecting that financial security should be enough for a woman to accept being a "lower" wife in return. And you're oversimplifying things by thinking that sexual fulfillment could more than make up for all the other issues you'll be juggling with in regards to multiple wives. And finally, you're oversimplifying by thinking that you could keep the first wife happy by successfully being able to show her that she is the "most cherished one" without offending her...........and without offending the other wives.
That is why.........in my opinion............if one is over-simplifying such a huge issue.......without giving my thought to the consequences............the chief motivator here seems to be the lower/base desires.
^ Deela............I would also like to add that you should stop giving me ALL the credit for thinking negatively of this issue.
You tell me to stop belittling you and "implying" that you're a child due to your lack of experience. However.....**Mamaof3 **openly and directly said that you're acting like a teenager. Why didn't that bother you?
You get so upset/offended when i made the comment that anyone who wants polygamy assuming its easy to be "fair" to all wives is chiefly thinking with his "lower head". But before me.......Mamaof3 **said that you're sounding like a teenager who is thinking more with his pants** than his head. She basically said the SAME thing that I said. So, why are you giving me all the credit? LOL!
I'm not trying to implicate Mamaof3.....in fact, I agree with everything she has said because her points are valid. She has the experience of marriage and children........and so she has MORE wisdom/insight on the issue of marriage than guys/girs who are single.
Read ALL the posts from the various members, instead of giving ALL the credit to just one person for "offending" you. If you are so offended with just one female's comments......................................*how will you handle being bombarded by strong individual opinions from your 4 WIVES? Something to think about isn't it? *
Just a general observation, I love how so many desi guys who can't/won't provide even one** home for their new wife away from Mummy and Daddy** will manage to provide 1/2/3 extra for the others?? Or will they just be stuck in council houses like some dirty secret that nobody knows about, the men getting all the fun of having more than one wife but without any of the responsibility.. I know this is what tends to happen in the UK in polygynous families, the kids from the following marriages also being regarded as illegitimate (really can't understand how a Muslim mother would put her children in such a position unless she had absolutely no other choice). Most of these extra families live off Gov benefits cos Dad simply can't/isn't willing to pay for them, I know if it was my Father I'd see it as a slap in the face..
Gosh h Gosh....all these ladies have gone bonkers.---although not unexpected.
All the post are noted, and valued.
RV- i say you are insulting-because of your repetative and constant behaviours on my threads-this and past. Your 'sarcasm' can also be felt as insult to others. And you leave arrgresive-passives which do not go unnoticed.
Other females such as MM3/MMKD leave occasional 'harsh' replies. But you just seem to go on a rampage any where and everywhere i go.
It seems like you get irritated when your word is not the last word said.
Learn some patience. The purpose of threads is to discuss. I apprciate your feebacks but if it some extra i request pls keep it at home.
And referring me to' thinking form my lower-head' when did i say that i intend to hump those ones and then make an excuse to rid of them.
Before making bold claims from relgion do more research. You clearly have not.
And I say you are obsessed with my threads because i dont see you writing such 'essays; anywhere else on anybodies forums. People are out here on life with eually trivial issues but like/need to discuss them without one long lecture from one wise individual acting like to close the thread.
I sincerely advise you to go on CM or Jaanwars thread or PCG'S latest threads and give the much needed 'morality' lectures there too. My thread is only suggestiong/conjecturing as opposed to practically doing. IM no kid. Dont try to insult me into staying on the 'puritan or wussy side' get-it? I am a Man, I know what Im doing.
Some people misunderstand the purpose of my thread.
Gupshup is forum for people to gain knowledge about common life issues form opnions and expericnes of others. Which is what im doing. It does not have to be neccesery I am in a problem right now in order to collect peoples opnions. Some people like to be PROACTIVE, by watching others mistakes.
Maybe somebody may desire to collect various viewpoints about a future plan they have. - and thats is not banned..
I am not a bloody troll for gods sake. and I dont want this thread closed.
I am taking in all viewpoints some i agree with and some i need to answer.
I will only be able to do this properly tomorow as I am currently extremy busy with work.
I dont believe you will ever marry 4 women and if you do...I dont expect to see you in Life1 ever again.
Marriage is not fun and games and you seem to be thinking it as such. 4 women are a huge responsibility that doesnt end like your current job does at 6pm. Those women expect you to be a good father, role model, husband, friend, companion, etc.
I just dont see you marrying even twice...let alone four times.
sorry guys- will reply i will reply full to each and every ladies response on the weekend. Some i agree and have learnd from and some need equal battering.
I have no time at all this evening.
And i am not as 'childish' or 'irrational' as some assume. Yes i havnt one lady yet (this is my own choice). But what would you womne call those married, well-educated, well-jobbed husbands that are 'cheating' out there?
What would u deduce from them they are also 'thinkers from the bottom' and nothing else.? Or would u deduce thier nature is no different than mine or other men.
You have A man who is upfront and honest compared to doing things behind backs. I know It is a less normal topic, but it also does lend a learning oppurtunity.
before i go: MIainVIVA- what would you say about the natrue of those 'educated, well settled, mature' men cheating out there: i.e anjanas thread.
would you redcuce them equally to chilldish pricks who 'only think from the bottom'
or since they are settled would you in comparison. give a more mature label to thier 'sexual acts'
I didn't read anjana's thread Deela, but in my opinion....... they are morons (for not caring about their happily married life and their children). They basically are ready to destroy their marriages just for some sex.... i find it extremely stupid.
As a woman, I also find lots of men attractive, i won't go around sleeping with them. If you are not physically satisfied with your spouse or you get bored, communicate with them.... you have to keep it alive by finding out what works for you both, not go find an alternative.
I would leave my husband if he cheated on me and I make sure I remind him every year (mazaak mein of course)...... I trust him but you never know... better to let your husband know the repercussions than him saying "its an acceptable behavior, everyone does it ... blah blah". I would rather not take the chance.
