Congrats Aras on your Nikkah - and don't worry InshaAllah it'll be fine, and you can have your rukhsati by Dec 2012. I am on the opposite end to you since my weddings in Jan next year. I am kind of getting nervous because as each month goes by it's really getting close. From my side, mum was able to go to Pakistan to do the shopping so am relaxed at that end, MIL has ordered valima outfit and Bari, she'll be relieved once it arrives safely hehe.
I have heard Karma are pretty professional in their client dealing so defintely worth checking them out if theyre within your budget. I love Zainab Sajid's designs too, although never have dealt with her nor know anyone personally who has. I suggest if your flying out to Lahore anyway, if you can squeeze a couple of days trip to KHI it'll be good for you to get a different taste of outfits and designers even tho Lahore is fashion central, the designs and styles vary in both cities.
Jewerely, I have got already, and ended up going not full on heavy but not simple eitherm an inbetween modern looking, but not filled with matching beads anything, more went for champagne color .. even tho my dress is predominately red with green work and gold/champagne work.
Not sure if I want to wear Naath - coz am wearing a tikka and jhoomar, don't wanna have too much happening on my face LOL!..
how is everyone else's planning going?? any more 2012 brides?!
i'll be a feb bride, wedding will take place in both Lahore first and then Hong Kong. Excited??? not sure :( yes i am happy but when i think of all the preparations, shopping, arrangements, and then think of how i will do all of this alone, not knowing much gives me a headache :(
My fiance is good, he will help me out in most of the preparation, but i still feel a lot of depression, can;t blame why i am so in favor of court marriages, no headache at all.
I think i am thinking too much on the negative side, l'm scared of not being able to find a good outfit, and then i worry that it will not look good on me, then i am afraid i wont be able to get nice jewelry, and what if it looked stupid or odd, and then biggest fear is what if the make up artist didn't do my make up right and made me look funny, it scares me a lot, i think if it happened i will just sit there in the parlor and cry till next day :D lol
Going into a big and also a bit backward strict family is another fear, i am so used to be independent, i don;t know how will i deal with them, how to keep them happy, how to adjust in the new environment, how will i address other family members, will they be friends with me or i will have to keep my secrets from them, and how will i know what are my limits towards my devars, whether i can be frank with them or i will have to hide from them etc etc etc...................
Aww Holy Moly, I hope you feel better soon. I guess no one can blame you for all the thoughts in your mind because they are natural. Just remember, it's an important ocassion for you and InshaAllah it will all work out. As soon as I start getting stressed out, I turn to Allah, make sure I am praying and it helps me a lot .. :)
The Hong Kong part sounds exciting !!! So fill us in, do you guys live there? Or is it a destination wedding. Do you know your places around Hong Kong? If not, i'd suggest take some time off before the wedding and go finalise and do your surveys. That way your fear of poor MUA will be solved. With Lahore, I think you'll be right, if your really concerned about the make up, perhaps go for multiple trials with the MUA and give lots of input and don't just leave it on them?
Aww the family, well how long have you been engaged for? Have you had much interaction with the family, your MIL, FIL? often that also helps to understand the way everyone works. But most importantly, if you and your fiance ar eon the same level, then that's what matters. He can look after anything that rises from his side. So don't worry InshaAllah everything will be okay.. The first couple of months are always unpredictable for anyone going into a marriage since it's new to everyone, but don't worry :)
Let us know if you need help in phishing for nice designs, theres plenty of nice threads around..
Thanks zainykhan...... Getting married is so scary... it;s like you are going to change your whole life and yourself in one day!!!
Well.... HK part is not what i worry about, HK is my home and i have a whole khandaan here to prepare everything for me and i am
sure HK part will be the most perfect one. I worry about Lahore part since i have no family here, and even if some of them came to lahore, they
wont be of any help to me. BTW, thanks for the MUA trial part, i didn;t know they did trials too, i thought you go there on your wedding day and then look whatever they make you look... :D
I have quite a lot of interaction with my Inlaws... me and my fiance are the first love marriage case in their khandaan, they arent that
open minded and modren, but for some reason they accepted me quite open heartedly. i can see they have some restriction for other DIL, but my MIL is quite nice to me, she even is waiting for me to go back to Lahore so that she can start preparing for my Devars wedding with me which is taking place in Dec.
My fiance on the other hand is so much on his mom's side, he is happy as long as i keep his mother happy, which is scaring me, MILs are MILs after all :(
If i remember correctly - you had moved to lahore to learn about the culture and the country?? How exciting for you that you are now getting married!
I'm a 2011 bride but I can tell you this much - even though I am pakistani and so is my fiance, and even tho his family is more modern than mine, I still have the same fears as you and as you said ... MILs are MILs after all. So do not think you are alone in your fears and apprehensions.... we all have them.... in regards to the actual wedding day and the life thereafter with our new khandaan as well.
And yes - I am having a love marriage as well :) Just focus mostly on the fact that you are lucky to have found a partner to share your life with... keep in mind that it is your partner ... and obviously his mom is a big part of his life... and it is very normal for any child...whether its a son or daughter to only see their mother happy. No one is happy when their mother is unhappy.
It's not even something I am telling you ..but advice I should take myself and keep in mind as well.
Praying always helps and keeping the big picture in mind helps as well. Fretting about the smaller things will literally start taking over your life and causing so much anxiety. You do not want this to happen. You are getting married.... be excited!
I'm so glad to hear that despite the fact this is the first love marriage in thier khandaan..they have accepted you open heartedly that is GREAT!!! And your MIL wants to include you in the preps for your devar's wedding ... also absolutely amazing!!! She wants you to be a part of their family and finding ways to include you. As long as you respect her and she respects you and both sides try to become a family...everything will be fine.
As for the wedding...remember that no matter how much you plan..not everythign is going to go perfectly..you will find a dress you will love inshAllah, you will find jewelery that matches (lahore has amazing shopping!!!!!), do a makeup trial!! like Zainy mentioned.... and just pray pray pray!
Like you I am in favor of the court marriage ;) easier and simpler... but just like you we have to go through the motions of the traditional wedding...so why not enjoy it as much as we can? ;)
Congrats to you too, and lots of prayers for you. Do share your experience, where do you shop, how much a wedding costs and things to do/avoid. Also do show pics of your dresses.
Hello guppies, I’m a newbie here, and wanted to join the club of 2012 brides-to-be. I will be getting married around October time next year, iA, it’s really exciting, but also scary at the same time. Especially since marriage was the last priority on my list at the start of this year…heck…it was the last priority about a month ago. I’ve been visting gupshups wedding forum for a good year or two, (although I joined recently), and when I saw this thread when it was started, I remember flicking through thinking ‘it will not be me in 2012’, and yet here I am posting here.:halo:
Anyways, congrats to all the brides-to-be…and good luck with everything.
first of all congratulation and lots of pray to all brides of 2011 and 2012.
I am newbie and i am feb bride. I hv engaged in march 2011. and the experience was very bad related to make up and dupatta setting.:(
Now i am very worried abut my marriage. My MIL was ready to plan the walima dress now. but my mom stop her caz fashion changes day by day. and it is heard that short shirt will be in end of this year. So we hv stopped the shopping till nov of this year.
Next year in feb will be my marriage and sep will be my BIL mean devar.
As i am in pak, So still completing the shopping related to kitchen appliances and other little things. Dress r pending till nov. but still hv collection of dresses of hand embroidery.
Just need help related to shopping of dresses and make up. caz don't wanna embrass at time of marriage.
So far i havent planned a single thing except for the date!
whats everyone planned?
Also quick question! Has anyone brought their wedding lengha/outfit? Are you guys worried about what the fashion will be like? or are you wearing a timeless classic?
Also where is everyone getting married? Pakistan? America? England??
My wedding dates have finally been set! The wedding is, InshAllah, at the end of August, in Karachi! I'm soo worried about the weather! that's actually the only thing I'm worried about! :( i haven't been to Pakistan during the summer, but from what I've heard it should be like April..
I had my engagement in April, i went to sabs for the make up.. they did an okay job, i don't think I'll be going there for the wedding,I'll prolly book Bina khan.. i actually like her style of make up!
actually I'm worried about the fashion too! i Love the currant fashion, with long shirts and sleeves,i hope it stays for a bit!!
as for the bridal dresses..My MIL and i will be going to Pakistan in April to order them all together.. we get along perfectly so I'm pretty excited about going with her, plus they like spoiling me:P I'm thinking of going to Dr. Haroon for the wedding and Sana Safinaaz for the valima :))
i'm actually pretty calm, maybe because there's a lot of time left or maybe because i've been planning since i was 16 so I've already got everything set :P
My wedding dates have finally been set! The wedding is, InshAllah, at the end of August, in Karachi! I'm soo worried about the weather! that's actually the only thing I'm worried about! :( i haven't been to Pakistan during the summer, but from what I've heard it should be like April..
I had my engagement in April, i went to sabs for the make up.. they did an okay job, i don't think I'll be going there for the wedding,I'll prolly book Bina khan.. i actually like her style of make up!
actually I'm worried about the fashion too! i Love the currant fashion, with long shirts and sleeves,i hope it stays for a bit!!
as for the bridal dresses..My MIL and i will be going to Pakistan in April to order them all together.. we get along perfectly so I'm pretty excited about going with her, plus they like spoiling me:P I'm thinking of going to Dr. Haroon for the wedding and Sana Safinaaz for the valima :))
i'm actually pretty calm, maybe because there's a lot of time left or maybe because i've been planning since i was 16 so I've already got everything set :P
Ohh congrats!! Good luck with all the arrangements!
Aww thats so sweet that you and your MIL get along so well!
Yeh i'm so worried, but i'm just gonna combine old fashion with new :) and then whatever i like i'll wear ..haha i sound like such a brat :P
You're so calm? I'm really not! I've got to basically plan everything in the next few months because after i'll have my last year of university and i'll be way too busy! :/
^ That's a good idea, i think it's smartest to just wear whatever you think looks nice.. :)
I know what you mean, i have my last year of uni as well, but still i'm trying not to freak out, cause once i'll start my mom will be completely out of control! hahaha
So, what are everyones plans about the jaheez clothes? how many do you plan on getting and how do you plan on making them?
Yeah it's gonna be so stressful organising it while i'm in my last year! What do you study? I'm gonna be getting married in april which when u look at it isn't such a great idea because it's such an important month in the last year!
Jaheez clothes - my mum's going to pakistan to make them. There's going to be about 6/7 i thiiink. Them one's are gonna be quite heavy ones to wear to dawaats etc and then i think she's gona get 5/6 more simple ones. I've got some clothes at home which are brand new to take with me. Do youu think that'll be enough? I dont really know what i'll need and how much. Guess i'll have to speak to my mum about it :/ Weddings are so stressful!
I'm studying to become a science and math teacher:) what about you? what do you study?
yea, around 15 dresses is normal now, i remember back in the old days, my cousin got 61 dresses made! sigh!
i'll be making around 5 heavy ones and 10 dinner ones.. since i'll only be there for a couple of weeks, I won't have time to run around the kaam walas and tailors, so i'm just going to give them all to a home based designer.. My MIL got got all my SIL made from one and it was pretty okay moneywise, so i'm thinking of doing the same.. :)
So yep for those who don't know, am a Jan 2012 bride. My shaadi outfit has been made.. well ordered & has arrived. It was a matter of either taking the risk and getting my mum to choose it - who i trust more than anyone else, or to wait till end of year and get someone in the family to choose it like chachi or cousin. So what I did was, didn't make the shirt neither of what's in fashion now extremely long, with open fronts or the round backs, nor did i make a very short kameez like choli type that was in 4 yrs ago ( i never liked that tbh) .. what i got made is a Farshi Gharaha with an average length to about just below knees. I hope it dosen't look out dated, but really it was a catch 33 situation for me. So i tried to go for the traditional look..
My MIL on the other hand is organising the valima outfit - and that's been ordered but yet to arrive.. so am looking fwd to seeing that when my bari comes but that's not till later this yr.. so a long wait indeed hehe..
In terms of planning - a lot is happening these days, my friends call me a fanatic when it comes to organising. Main things like venues etc are booked, but am also planning nitty gritty of events such as mehndi dances, program for events, finding my MC etc..
thinking about it - take August out for planning since it'll be Ramadan and come back after August leaves 5 more months, and with my friends stll at uni etc, i have to work around their holiday times. I finished my studies last yr, but it's just as bad at work - since you can't do any planning at all ! and how many weekends are there in a year, so really I'd recommend get iin there early and lock your friends in, because if they are all busy and time runs out it's even worst..
same token tho, no matter how planned you are that element of stress exists.. lol so i think that will just stay with me forever. am trying to focus on my diet and excersise to remain fresh.. any tips - what r u all doing?