saima your outfits sound gorgeous mashallah! can you post pictures? if u dont want to show the whole outfit, maybe just a part of it? i'm really curious about how the reception outfit's color combo will turn out.
maham- thanks for the advice. i've tried communicating & my fiance is really balancing the two sides well. however, i have settled for just looking ugly and hoping the walima night will pass by quickly. hah.
shafaaf- no, it's never too early to get your outfits, in fact, that's perfect timing. bridals take a few months to receive once u place an order. good luck!
Hey Muslimah, I really dont want to post the pictures here...not yet at least...if you pm me your email address, I will send you a picture!
you are too sweet!!!! My bridal, believe it or not, I decided to go with white, so its white and ivory with dull gold kaam on it. and my reception one is deep purple accented with ruby red and emerald green, and the kaam is dull gold, silver, and swarovski crystals!! they are both gorgeous in their own way! Feelings are completly mixed right now...excitment, nervousness, Im scared, Im happy, Im sad...everything all together!!! but mashAllah, everything is coming together perfectly!!!!
Omggg ur dress sounds so pretty mashaAllah!! I am also plannin to go for white on my valima it looks so pretty and approx how much ws ur per dress? especially from rani emaan?? hmm hmm wutelse. I m sure you will rock ur day :)
helpppppp LADIESS!!
I mentioned earlier tht I will be having an engagement party in January. I was supposed to plan everything and I did. Now, my future in-laws want to do it at their home instead of the hall. They said if I want we can still do it at the hall but they said they prefer to do that at home. I do not mind if it is at home but I can not decide where I want it to be more (at the hall or at their house)... I will list the pros and cons of both so please help me decide.. what do you guys think??
At Home Pros- Close family will be invited, less expenses, will be free to dance and play games for entertainment Cons- I have already bought my lehenga for the hall and it is really pretty and bhara hua but I will not be able to wear it at the house because then it would look too much, decoration will be done by either them or me... I do not trust them to decorate up to my expectations and if I decorate it will be at their house and I am not sure what I can and can not do for decoration like if I can stick stuff to the walls or not, will not be able to invite my gora and kalu friends, they brought up that if there is not enough space in the living room then they will split the guys and girls into separate rooms and I do not want that, will have to clean up and do dishes afterwards, I feel like paper plates are tacky but they might want to use paper plates and I might not have a say in it because it will be at their house, a photographer will look odd, we already are engaged so the whole purpose of the party was to have it outside and invite alot of people but if it is at home we wont be able to invite all the people that we want, it might get crowded, they had a problem with having candy as party favors and want to give out flowers instead but flowers would be too costly and weird in my opinion.
At hall pros- Outfit already bought, no worries about decoration, will not have to clean or do dishes afterward, can have a photographer there, will be able to invite alot of people
*Cons- * expensive, harder to entertain people
So there are 3 pros and 10 cons of having the party at home. And there are 5 pros and 2 cons of having it at the hall. But I do not know what is better because the pros of having it at home are really strong but the cons scare me a bit. I also do not know how to tell them if I end up deciding to do it at the hall... Or if I decide to have it at home them I do not know how to tell them that I want to decorate and not use paper plates and I want to pick the party favors. HELPPP>>>.. wht should I do???
miszani- I feel very strongly u should DO IT AT HOME!
Here is why:
1. If you save money now, you have a little more to spend on your wedding, maybe a little more dough for the bridal, or enough for another jewelry set.
2. You CAN definitely wear the engagement outfit you bought. But if you're really uncomfortable, then think of it this way- you have one of your heavy outfits to wear after you get married already. It's not a total loss.
3. Decorating companies will decorate the home, too. If you want some decorator contacts, pm me. I have seen them do an amazing job to ppl's homes.
4. Photographer will not look odd, don't worry. One of my friends did her engagement AND mehndi at home, & there was a professional photographer there both times. It wasn't weird at all.
5. Usually at gatherings so large, it's not considered tacky to have paper plates. Even my friend's mehndi had paper plates. Noone thinks twice about it. It's practical.
6. If you don't want to clean up, spend a little of the dough you saved by having it at home on a cheap 1-day maid service :)
I also think you will run less of a risk of offending them by asking them to let you pick party favors if they get their way by doing it at home. I vote for home, can you tell? Haha. Of course, it's your engagement, and you know how badly you want the hall or not. But if I were in your position, you know what I'd do. Good luck!
miszani- I feel very strongly u should DO IT AT HOME!
Here is why:
1. If you save money now, you have a little more to spend on your wedding, maybe a little more dough for the bridal, or enough for another jewelry set.
2. You CAN definitely wear the engagement outfit you bought. But if you're really uncomfortable, then think of it this way- you have one of your heavy outfits to wear after you get married already. It's not a total loss.
3. Decorating companies will decorate the home, too. If you want some decorator contacts, pm me. I have seen them do an amazing job to ppl's homes.
4. Photographer will not look odd, don't worry. One of my friends did her engagement AND mehndi at home, & there was a professional photographer there both times. It wasn't weird at all.
5. Usually at gatherings so large, it's not considered tacky to have paper plates. Even my friend's mehndi had paper plates. Noone thinks twice about it. It's practical.
6. If you don't want to clean up, spend a little of the dough you saved by having it at home on a cheap 1-day maid service :)
I also think you will run less of a risk of offending them by asking them to let you pick party favors if they get their way by doing it at home. I vote for home, can you tell? Haha. Of course, it's your engagement, and you know how badly you want the hall or not. But if I were in your position, you know what I'd do. Good luck!
thnx hun
tht was really helpful.. you reassured me.
I will pm u for decorators :)
helpppppp LADIESS!!
I mentioned earlier tht I will be having an engagement party in January. I was supposed to plan everything and I did. Now, my future in-laws want to do it at their home instead of the hall. They said if I want we can still do it at the hall but they said they prefer to do that at home. I do not mind if it is at home but I can not decide where I want it to be more (at the hall or at their house)... I will list the pros and cons of both so please help me decide.. what do you guys think??
I am sorry i don't want to offend you but having had gone thru this topic, i got a feeling you are not very comfortable with your inlaws and have no desire to create that comfort either. It's not necessary that you have to like anything and everything opposite to what they select. I don't see how venue of your engagement should be such a big deal esp when its they who are throwing the party, it should be their call where they want to have it. Ideally the girls family is the one who throws the party in that case you could have had your party where you want and how you want. But for now i think you shouldnt stress much on it and try and have a comfortable relationship with them even if you know you wont be living with them after marriage. Goodluck.
oh i tried communicating and it just got messier. everyone was getting offended, and i still don't get why it is so wrong for me to go shopping w/my MIL. i can't change their firm opinions, so i just keep telling myself that it's only for 1 day & then it will be over. it's ok, i am now on a quest for a bridal outfit that will make up for the ugliness to follow, lol.
Ok. You are the best judge here since you know this situation up close. I just am confused that this may not be the only time you may have to let go of what you want AND you may be fine doing that RITE NOW but not later SO just be aware. So it's always better to be honest from the very begining. Just my two cents :) Wish you very well in life.
GUYS....I need HELP.....Im getting married as I mentioned in 2011....and Im going shopping in Pakistan next month...AND I have no clue where to go to buy my outfits in Lahore???
PLease help me out...you guys know how stressful this is...and its my first time in Pakistan...I feel like crying...
Can you guys suggest anything else that I need to get from there that I can't get from Canada???
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
Well. Calm Down. It's gonna be your first time in Pak but since you are coming here for shopping i am sure you are doing so only cuz someone close has assured you its the best place to shop for wedding. So why are you so stressed out?!.
Tell me what kind of outfits you want, what's your budget and i had be able to help you out. Also, if the wedding is in canada outfits is the only thing you would need from here.
GUYS....I need HELP.....Im getting married as I mentioned in 2011....and Im going shopping in Pakistan next month...AND I have no clue where to go to buy my outfits in Lahore???
PLease help me out...you guys know how stressful this is...and its my first time in Pakistan...I feel like crying...
Can you guys suggest anything else that I need to get from there that I can't get from Canada???
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
NO NEED to cry or stress out about this!!! You are a lucky lucky girl who is getting to go to Lahore for her wedding shopping!! Do you know how much I wish I was in your position????!! I posted a thread on GS about a month ago that had to do with the fact that I was NOT going to lahore as I had planned and was now freaking out about where to buy my wedding dress from since I live in the states.
So count your blessings and breathe. Everything will be MORE than ok. Lahore is AMAZING and has everything you want in regards to shopping. You will find all your dresses and then some, shoes and accessories will be easy too. Just because it is your first time in Pakistan - is no reason to stress either. You are going in good weather, under good circumstances.... you will be surrounded by family members.... you are LUCKY.
I have a list that I had made of all the Lahore shops I would visit when I went shopping there. I have it broken down with categories of clothes, and jewelry as those were the two main things I would have gotten from there.
PM me your email address and I will email you this list. It has addresses, phone numbers, everything. So please calm down and let us help you.
I am not offended.. we all have rights to our own opinion :)
I am not really comfortable with them but I am really trying to get comfortable and fit in with their family.
It is not NECESSARY to like things that they do not like but I do not want to let go of everything that I like and pretend to be someone that I am not... I want to have the event at my house but they want to do it at their house instead soo ya. And the venue wouldnt have been a big deal if tehre was more time.. but its only a month left and now I have to start from scratch soo I am a bit nervous.
Thnx 4 ur advice
I am sorry i don't want to offend you but having had gone thru this topic, i got a feeling you are not very comfortable with your inlaws and have no desire to create that comfort either. It's not necessary that you have to like anything and everything opposite to what they select. I don't see how venue of your engagement should be such a big deal esp when its they who are throwing the party, it should be their call where they want to have it. Ideally the girls family is the one who throws the party in that case you could have had your party where you want and how you want. But for now i think you shouldnt stress much on it and try and have a comfortable relationship with them even if you know you wont be living with them after marriage. Goodluck.
thanks so much for your support ladies..God knows i need it atm...but you all are right...I need to CALM DOWN!!! DEEP BREATHS!!!!!
I'm looking for a lengha for ruksati, gharara for Nikkah and i don't know about the walima...i'm open to anything really...oh and what do brides wear on the mehndi usually?
As for budget....I don't know how much these things cost??? YES...THAT'S HOW LOST I AM!!! IT's the first wedding in the family...its the BLIND LEADING THE BLIND...
so what price range should I be looking for if I want something with heavy kaam and beading etc....designers really don't matter to me...because where I live...no one can tell the difference...
sorry i'm all over the place...PLEASE HELP... :(
PunjabiRose...i sent you a PM...I don't know if your received it...but if you could get me that information I would REALLY REALLY REAALLLLY appreciate it <3
Im on the same boat! Im also the first one in my family to get married after a LONNNNNG time, also first one in my family to get married in the US. So I don't know what to do, whats the budget, where to start and my wedding is in July. All I know is that im going back home this January for my wedding attire.
Im on the same boat! Im also the first one in my family to get married after a LONNNNNG time, also first one in my family to get married in the US. So I don't know what to do, whats the budget, where to start and my wedding is in July. All I know is that im going back home this January for my wedding attire.
I have the exact same issue but this forum did make things just a lil bit better
I am not offended.. we all have rights to our own opinion :)
I am not really comfortable with them but I am really trying to get comfortable and fit in with their family.
It is not NECESSARY to like things that they do not like but I do not want to let go of everything that I like and pretend to be someone that I am not... I want to have the event at my house but they want to do it at their house instead soo ya. And the venue wouldnt have been a big deal if tehre was more time.. but its only a month left and now I have to start from scratch soo I am a bit nervous.
Thnx 4 ur advice
First of all, thank you for not taking what i said negatively :).
I completely agree with you, everyone should be as honest as they can be from the very start. There is absolutely no need to pretend to be someone that you are not. But equally important is that you don't be very rigid (not claiming that you are) with your way of doing things as weddings are suppose to be the best time of your life and you should cherish, enjoy it to the fullest. Don't stress on small issues which may take away the smile, the excitement from your face. And may cause misunderstandings between you and your new family :) Let this be the time of eternal joy for you and both the familes. Aameen.
You seem like a positive person and i am sure you will find a way to do things the right way :) All the very best to you.