^ no carbs. STOP eating roti, rice, pasta, patotas, cakes, etc. Start with ONLY 40 -50g of carbs a day. u should be able to lose maybe 10-15 lbs.
....I would starve without all of those!!!
Umm okay, I'm not being judgmental here. But to all those girls out there that are getting married and shifting to Pakistan - are you serious? WHY?! Do you liked being bombed/murdered/raped/robbed? Is that the future you want for your children? Why would you give up living in a developed country with a solid law-and-order system where your children's future would be bright to settle down in a country like Pakistan? No, you WON'T be able to stand the heat. Especially if your husband/in-laws don't own or are stingy about the air conditioner. Yes, you WILL hate being stared at and followed by every man on the road when you go out shopping. And YES your husband will most likely be much more narrow-minded than what you've been brought up in. Also, to the girls who are saying that their mother-in-law is already causing problems, or that their husbands are already fighting with them over every little issue - UMMM, HELLO?! Do you need to get hit over the head with a belan (rolling pin) to figure out that this isn't going to work?! Cut your losses, break it off, and MOVE ON! I doubt you guys are in such desperate circumstances that you can't find a decent guy in your own home country near your family to marry. This is why the women of our society will always be subordinate and down-trodden, because of simpering, feeble-minded and pushover girls like SOME OF YOU!!!!
Ok, first of really? Seriously? That is all just BS. And let me ask you a question. Would you like your children to live in a place where they forget their roots, where they follow all these English customs? Would you like your children to live in a place where they forget their religion and want to follow all these kids in all things haram? Do you want your kids to be materialistic and disrespectful of you, your husband and all the other elders? You really want them to learn that? Children get raped/murdered/kidnapped here all the time too. Half the time, they don't get reported cause the authorities dont really give a sh*t about anyone other than those with money. Chances are at least half those authorities are in on those plots too. Did you think of that?
*Second point, not everyone always has the air conditioner on here either. My parents only leave it for extreme circumstances cause fans work just as well. A little heat never hurt anyone if they KNOW HOW TO DEAL WITH IT! Meaning drinking plenty of fluids and all that good stuff. *
*Third, NOT ALL MEN ARE NARROW MINDED!!! Forget my fiance, my MIL is a very understanding and caring woman, alhum du lillah. Not all the men of our generation are narrow minded. It all depends on the family. I know that yes, there will be fights, yes he might not understand some of the stuff I do, and yea he freaking loves me FOR ME AND ALL MY WIERD AMERICAN-NESS!!!! Frankly I think you are being more narrow minded then all of them if you are generalizing the population. I would think that most of these girls parents (mine included) know what they are doing when they set a rishta with someone from Pakistan. *
*Finally, I AM NOT A SUBORDINATE, FEEBLE MINDED, DOWNTRODDEN, PUSHOVER!!!! I would rather have a man who LOVES ME with a steady job there than a man who will always have the worry of his job being gone here. I WANT someone to take care of me cause really, I like being pampered. I like feeling like a princess. Allah ka shukar karti hoon that I found someone who cares for me that much. Can you really say that for most of the Pakistani guys here? I have seen numbers of them having girlfriends and doing all that stuff that kafirs do and they JUST DON'T CARE ABOUT OUR VALUES ANYMORE! *
Did you think about ANY of these things before posting that?????
Okay first of all, to all those people who are ranting against my post, let me refute your arguments and make my statement clear.
To all those girls that are talking about having their kids exposed to English customs and bad influences abroad - excuse me but have you visited Pakistan recently? And no, not as in a short trip where most of your interaction is with family and dressmakers and tailors, but actually lived and breathed the lifestyle that is Pakistan these days? Kids here (I know what I'm talking about because I'm studying here currently) are MUCH, MUCH worse. Drugs, promiscuity and drinking is rampant here in the teenage crowd. People that are living abroad are MUCH more in touch with their roots and religion, and there might be a few exceptions, but for the most part they are decent, God-fearing people. It doesn't matter where you live, your children will be a reflection of your upbringing. If they are disrespectful, materialistic, etc, that reflects on your parenting, NOT where they grew up. And as for materialism - you haven't seen materialism until you walk into any average Pakistani wedding/daawat and hear how women show off about their latest fancy designer outfit/handbag/car or preen about how their kids just got admission into the most elite private school available. People abroad are mostly of the middle class, and are used to treating everyone from a waiter to their boss with the same courtesy and respect.
And as for the air-conditioning point, are you seriously comparing the heat of Pakistan to that of anywhere in America /the UK? Even Miami or Houston (both of which places I've visited in summer so I know what I'm talking about), the dead of summer doesn't compare ANYWHERE to the absolute melting, swelteringly and blistering heat of Karachi/Lahore. If you happen to be moving to Islamabad or Pindi, then it's still fine, they're more similar to the climate in the US/UK. And it's not just about the heat. I guess none of the things I'm saying will click in your minds until you actually start living here, but trust me what I'm saying will be ringing over and over in your heads when you guys actually wake up from the rosy-posy world of love and wedded bliss and actually start facing the reality of your situation. The freedom of moving around, driving a car alone, going for a leisurely walk etc - say goodbye to all of those things. Not only is it not safe, you'll be stared at and whistled at like a piece of meat and you'll feel so uncomfortable and trapped that you'll stop going out altogether. The days of going for a walk, seeing a movie, wearing jeans and a t-shirt out will be OVER, unless you get used to strange men gawking at you and passing lewd comments.
As for comparing the law and order situation to that of the system abroad, your analogies are quite laughable, sorry to say. Are you seriously trying to compare the Pakistani police to that of the police in the US/UK? The police there DON'T care about money, they do their job and if anybody commits a crime they get punished for it. Not to mention the crime rates are super-low anyway in comparison. Yesterday, 6 bomb blasts occured in Lahore. SIX!!!! IN ONE DAY!! Here a police officer can be bought off for as low as 100 rupees, and if you ever go to them with a complaint, God help you if you're a girl because they'll treat you so cheaply and badly you'll walk out of there feeling like a prostitute. And I know that it's not like crimes don't occur abroad, they do. But they are no where near the crime that occurs in Pak. You don't have men stopping cars at traffic lights in broad daylight stripping jewellery and cellphones off of innocent women, dacoits bursting into homes robbing houses and taking away the daughters of the house to rape, or acid being thrown on wives faces with no retribution because the husbands paid off the police with some cash.
Basically, the reason why I brought this point up in the first place, was that in all of the cases that I've known up till now of a girl moving to Pak after getting married from abroad, have NEVER been successful. I could give you guys the benefit of the doubt if I'd heard of at least one happy marriage. But NONE. None in my family, distant family, neighbours or family friends. They're all either separated, divorced or hanging on for the sake of the children but miserably unhappy. It's fine if you were also born in Pak and brought up here, but for those who have been born and brought up abroad, it's just too much to adjust to willingly. Love has a tendency to cloud one's judgment, but you need to step back from the situation and weigh everything carefully. I read one girl on here, her sn is diamond-something, she would talk the same exact way about her engangement and I could see all the danger signs (mean MIL, arrogant fiance, huge sacrifices being made only from her end) but she kept on saying she loved her fiance and all so I hoped it would work out. Anyway, as you all know, she put up with verbal and physical abuse, gave birth to a daughter that her husband refuses to acknowledge and now is separated/divorced. Really, really, sad. I would hate to see any other girl in that predicament, so just think long and hard girls, before making such a big leap of faith.
Okay first of all, to all those people who are ranting against my post, let me refute your arguments and make my statement clear. To all those girls that are talking about having their kids exposed to English customs and bad influences abroad - excuse me but have you visited Pakistan recently? And no, not as in a short trip where most of your interaction is with family and dressmakers and tailors, but actually lived and breathed the lifestyle that is Pakistan these days? Kids here (I know what I'm talking about because I'm studying here currently) are MUCH, MUCH worse. Drugs, promiscuity and drinking is rampant here in the teenage crowd. People that are living abroad are MUCH more in touch with their roots and religion, and there might be a few exceptions, but for the most part they are decent, God-fearing people. It doesn't matter where you live, your children will be a reflection of your upbringing. If they are disrespectful, materialistic, etc, that reflects on your parenting, NOT where they grew up. And as for materialism - you haven't seen materialism until you walk into any average Pakistani wedding/daawat and hear how women show off about their latest fancy designer outfit/handbag/car or preen about how their kids just got admission into the most elite private school available. People abroad are mostly of the middle class, and are used to treating everyone from a waiter to their boss with the same courtesy and respect. And as for the air-conditioning point, are you seriously comparing the heat of Pakistan to that of anywhere in America /the UK? Even Miami or Houston (both of which places I've visited in summer so I know what I'm talking about), the dead of summer doesn't compare ANYWHERE to the absolute melting, swelteringly and blistering heat of Karachi/Lahore. If you happen to be moving to Islamabad or Pindi, then it's still fine, they're more similar to the climate in the US/UK. And it's not just about the heat. I guess none of the things I'm saying will click in your minds until you actually start living here, but trust me what I'm saying will be ringing over and over in your heads when you guys actually wake up from the rosy-posy world of love and wedded bliss and actually start facing the reality of your situation. The freedom of moving around, driving a car alone, going for a leisurely walk etc - say goodbye to all of those things. Not only is it not safe, you'll be stared at and whistled at like a piece of meat and you'll feel so uncomfortable and trapped that you'll stop going out altogether. The days of going for a walk, seeing a movie, wearing jeans and a t-shirt out will be OVER, unless you get used to strange men gawking at you and passing lewd comments. As for comparing the law and order situation to that of the system abroad, your analogies are quite laughable, sorry to say. Are you seriously trying to compare the Pakistani police to that of the police in the US/UK? The police there DON'T care about money, they do their job and if anybody commits a crime they get punished for it. Not to mention the crime rates are super-low anyway in comparison. Yesterday, 6 bomb blasts occured in Lahore. SIX!!!! IN ONE DAY!! Here a police officer can be bought off for as low as 100 rupees, and if you ever go to them with a complaint, God help you if you're a girl because they'll treat you so cheaply and badly you'll walk out of there feeling like a prostitute. And I know that it's not like crimes don't occur abroad, they do. But they are no where near the crime that occurs in Pak. You don't have men stopping cars at traffic lights in broad daylight stripping jewellery and cellphones off of innocent women, dacoits bursting into homes robbing houses and taking away the daughters of the house to rape, or acid being thrown on wives faces with no retribution because the husbands paid off the police with some cash. Basically, the reason why I brought this point up in the first place, was that in all of the cases that I've known up till now of a girl moving to Pak after getting married from abroad, have NEVER been successful. I could give you guys the benefit of the doubt if I'd heard of at least one happy marriage. But NONE. None in my family, distant family, neighbours or family friends. They're all either separated, divorced or hanging on for the sake of the children but miserably unhappy. It's fine if you were also born in Pak and brought up here, but for those who have been born and brought up abroad, it's just too much to adjust to willingly. Love has a tendency to cloud one's judgment, but you need to step back from the situation and weigh everything carefully. I read one girl on here, her sn is diamond-something, she would talk the same exact way about her engangement and I could see all the danger signs (mean MIL, arrogant fiance, huge sacrifices being made only from her end) but she kept on saying she loved her fiance and all so I hoped it would work out. Anyway, as you all know, she put up with verbal and physical abuse, gave birth to a daughter that her husband refuses to acknowledge and now is separated/divorced. Really, really, sad. I would hate to see any other girl in that predicament, so just think long and hard girls, before making such a big leap of faith.
I just wanted to quickly say one thing about your post and earlier post. I to spent a semester in Karachi of 06 and I am not arguing your points about the country being in turmoil nor am I arguing that kids born and raised over there are worst than the ones born here, and nor am I even arguing that the level and treatment of women differs greatly between Pakistan and the west. I do feel however that you were very out of place to go and judge and make assumptions about any of these girls being "desperate" or any of the other things you called them for marrying Pakistani men and moving there. You have no place to go and tell somebody that they are making the wrong decision and are doomed if thats what they chose. Experiences can go both ways because three of my cousins also married Pakistani and Indian men and are very happy and comfortable in her marriage and where they are living. I am also not arguing that there are also chances of marriages not working out but that every situation and circumstance is different. Its one thing about trying to shed light on a situation that your aware of but its another to go and judge anyone on their own decision based on their own circumstances which you are not aware of. You've basically told anyone who decides to take that step in their life (for their own reasons) that they are completely hopeless in the situation. Unless you know how to see into the future, your points hold no weight...and the clueless name calling was even more unnecessary.
PS. I still have to get back to some posts! Will do so soon!
Re: 2010 brides.........
You guys are killing this threads with negativism!
Re: 2010 brides.........
*Well Sana said everything I was going to say soo let's just agree to disagree and bring this thread back into happy times. I just have a question for all brides? *
Did you have your sisters/brothers/cousins dance at your wedding? I've been watching mehndi dances and boy are some of them good!!!
^ Yep i agree, Sana has mentioned everything that i was thinking..its one thing to make people aware of a situation so that they can face it realistically but its quite another to insult their personal chracteristics or their choices..
ahh anyways girls im like depressed right now!! My engagement outfit which was supposed to be ready isn't anywhere near that stage :( I just spoke to My Mum as i thought she would've picked up the dress by now..turns out the tailor hasn't even STARTED making the dress yet!!! I mean what the hell, i ordered my dress back in November for goodness sake, its not like its a bridal that its going to take THAT long..i have a sinking feeling he's just going to make it all last minute and its going to look horrible :( Sometimes i think its just better to get a ready made outift becuase atleast you can get it when u want and as promised! But i wanted a certain colour combo and design which is why i wanted to get it made, to match my fiance to be's kurta...Grrr im soo annoyed! he says it will be ready in a week...so lets see, im not holding my breath..
*Well Sana said everything I was going to say soo let's just agree to disagree and bring this thread back into happy times. I just have a question for all brides? *
Did you have your sisters/brothers/cousins dance at your wedding? I've been watching mehndi dances and boy are some of them good!!!
Im preparing a mehndi dance for my brothers mehndi with my sister as we speak! Lol :D and i fully intend to get all my sisters and brother and bhabi to dance at mine!! Love the co-ordinated dances :)
Re: 2010 brides.........
Ooooh..
This was such a positive thread and now filled with negativity..
Must I get my bailan out certai girlies.. stoppit I tell ya
I am marrying a guy from Pk and in now way am I desperate..
I actually chose him over a British Guy and it is because of his core values and his lovely parents..
I have literally a month.. I will be going to Pakistan end of this month inshALLAH and my biggest worry is losing weight and clothes shopping in Isb/Pindi
So cuttign the carbs girls.. No more Potato/bread/pasta or rice...
had a nice salad today and not eating anything after 5 pm .. apart from fruit..
Re: 2010 brides.........
I am thinking of travelling to london this May to do some of my nikkah-shopping from there do u guys know any cool shops I should check out?
^ Yep i agree, Sana has mentioned everything that i was thinking..its one thing to make people aware of a situation so that they can face it realistically but its quite another to insult their personal chracteristics or their choices..
ahh anyways girls im like depressed right now!! My engagement outfit which was supposed to be ready isn't anywhere near that stage :( I just spoke to My Mum as i thought she would've picked up the dress by now..turns out the tailor hasn't even STARTED making the dress yet!!! I mean what the hell, i ordered my dress back in November for goodness sake, its not like its a bridal that its going to take THAT long..i have a sinking feeling he's just going to make it all last minute and its going to look horrible :( Sometimes i think its just better to get a ready made outift becuase atleast you can get it when u want and as promised! But i wanted a certain colour combo and design which is why i wanted to get it made, to match my fiance to be's kurta...Grrr im soo annoyed! he says it will be ready in a week...so lets see, im not holding my breath..
Awww!!! It's okay! When is your engagement? And if it's not ready by the end of the week, I would just go to him and tell him that you're taking it to someone else, that you already talked to, and they will have it done in less time! EVen if you haven't, you can alwats stretch the truth a little and maybe it'll light a fire under him so he get's moving.
Im preparing a mehndi dance for my brothers mehndi with my sister as we speak! Lol :D and i fully intend to get all my sisters and brother and bhabi to dance at mine!! Love the co-ordinated dances :)
*Hehe they are so awesome!!! I've seen some really good ones on youtube. *
*If you search BEST MEHNDI DANCE EVER, it's for the guys side of some family, I think, and they even have a skit and a little girl to co-ordinate with them! It's sooooooo cute!!!!!! *
*Then there was one where the girls' cousins and sisters and friends all wore the same clothes, then in the dance, they made the room dark and used candles while dancing!!! That was sooo awesome too!!! *
I know my sister and cousins are going to dance at my wedding but they are gonna keep the dance a secret, and since I'm such a control freak, I'm really worried about it...... BUT I will tell them some songs that they MUST use!
Ooooh.. This was such a positive thread and now filled with negativity..
Must I get my bailan out certai girlies.. stoppit I tell ya
I am marrying a guy from Pk and in now way am I desperate..
I actually chose him over a British Guy and it is because of his core values and his lovely parents..
I have literally a month.. I will be going to Pakistan end of this month inshALLAH and my biggest worry is losing weight and clothes shopping in Isb/Pindi
So cuttign the carbs girls.. No more Potato/bread/pasta or rice...
had a nice salad today and not eating anything after 5 pm .. apart from fruit..
Don't worry, we are bringing back on the positive end! I'm worried about loosing wieght too, but I have a good nine months to..... Soooo, I've started going to the gym on my college campus again! I had to stop during winter cause I H-A-T-E winter and snow and I gained wieght while sitting on my bum for a month, so now I have a new plan! At least an hour to two hours at the gym everyday during the summer... I guess it also helps that my nani is coming here too....actually no it doesn't, she'll probably bring more methai!!!!!!! Geez, you can never win with all this yummy Pakistani food....
^ Yep i agree, Sana has mentioned everything that i was thinking..its one thing to make people aware of a situation so that they can face it realistically but its quite another to insult their personal chracteristics or their choices..
ahh anyways girls im like depressed right now!! My engagement outfit which was supposed to be ready isn't anywhere near that stage :( I just spoke to My Mum as i thought she would've picked up the dress by now..turns out the tailor hasn't even STARTED making the dress yet!!! I mean what the hell, i ordered my dress back in November for goodness sake, its not like its a bridal that its going to take THAT long..i have a sinking feeling he's just going to make it all last minute and its going to look horrible :( Sometimes i think its just better to get a ready made outift becuase atleast you can get it when u want and as promised! But i wanted a certain colour combo and design which is why i wanted to get it made, to match my fiance to be's kurta...Grrr im soo annoyed! he says it will be ready in a week...so lets see, im not holding my breath..
No more negativity! :) :) :) ...When is your engagement?? We always have to tell our darzis and karigaars to have the clothes made so much more in advance because you never know in Pakistan, things happen in an instant and everyone closes shop! Don't feel depressed, I'm sure it will get made in time, tell your family to haraas the darzis. Thats what we have to do sometimes, and they usually give in. What is your colour combo?
*Hehe they are so awesome!!! I've seen some really good ones on youtube. *
*If you search BEST MEHNDI DANCE EVER, it's for the guys side of some family, I think, and they even have a skit and a little girl to co-ordinate with them! It's sooooooo cute!!!!!! *
*Then there was one where the girls' cousins and sisters and friends all wore the same clothes, then in the dance, they made the room dark and used candles while dancing!!! That was sooo awesome too!!! *
I know my sister and cousins are going to dance at my wedding but they are gonna keep the dance a secret, and since I'm such a control freak, I'm really worried about it...... BUT I will tell them some songs that they MUST use!
hahah I'm also such a control freak too! But its funny cuz its not on a daily bases, ONLY when it comes to the wedding, my guard just goes up for some reason. I think I would just like things to go as I have been dreaming and planning for them too so I get so tense when someone tells me no you can't do this or that lol. I also need idea for dances! I have to help my cousins and brother with theirs as well. So far I have the guys dance ready, it just need to be taught to them. Their all so hard to get together!!
Sana and Bride2010...you guys are moving to Chicago??!! YAYYYY finally more Chicago people. I'm also from Chicago and let me just tell you both, you'll LOVE IT HERE. The people are awesome and you'll discover something new everyday in this city because there is so much to do. And Sana, Chicago will be a new haven for your photographic skills b/c there are so many pretty sites to shoot! =)
I'm new to GS, but honestly if you guys need ANY info on Chicago, please feel free to ask!! Esp. if you are concerned with wedding/valima plans or anything at all, I'll be your girl. =)
Take care girls,and good luck to all the 2010 beauties, iA you will make STUNNING brides and have beautiful, successful marriages. Ameen.
Yayyy a fellow Guppian in the city!! :) I am actually quite excited about moving to Chicago! Its going to be a big change from Ottawa which is a much smaller city but having been born into a bigger city I have been dying to move back to one, I just NEVER thought it would be to the states! My valima will be there but my hubby is also handling all of the Valima stuff. He refuses to let me help him because he feels I shouldn't be burdened with it along with the shaadi as well. But I'm such a control freak when it comes to this wedding that I have been trying to find out the details so I can also help make some arrangements but he has been putting up a good fight lol. I do know however that it is at a hall called Avalon Banquets. Have you ever been there??
I did want to ask you however that all of my cousins will be coming down for the Valima, all between the ages of 15- 30 and we are all obsessed with Shisha. Do you know of any nice shisha places in the city?? Would you suggest anywhere else I can take them to and show em around while they're there? Places that they would really enjoy where the under aged ones would also be able to have fun??? :)
You can PM me! :)
Awww!!! It's okay! When is your engagement? And if it's not ready by the end of the week, I would just go to him and tell him that you're taking it to someone else, that you already talked to, and they will have it done in less time! EVen if you haven't, you can alwats stretch the truth a little and maybe it'll light a fire under him so he get's moving.
thanks hun! the engagement is on April 4th InshAllah..i have plenty of time left its not the time limit which is stressing me out..i placed my order wayyy back in early November of last year..the least i can expect is for him to have started making my dress!! the worst thing is a couple days back he told my Mum that it would be finished in a few days..and now he's saying he hasn't even started it! I fully intend to do what you've suggested if he hasnt started it by the time i get there..which is this saturday! he better get moving or i'll just take my custom elsewhere..grrr
I can post links now! I don’t know if I should start a new thread or not for this but here are some mehndi dances, from brides and grooms’ sides!
The first video is one of the ones I was talking about, with the guys and the cute lil girl.
thanks hun! the engagement is on April 4th InshAllah..i have plenty of time left its not the time limit which is stressing me out..i placed my order wayyy back in early November of last year..the least i can expect is for him to have started making my dress!! the worst thing is a couple days back he told my Mum that it would be finished in a few days..and now he's saying he hasn't even started it! I fully intend to do what you've suggested if he hasnt started it by the time i get there..which is this saturday! he better get moving or i'll just take my custom elsewhere..grrr
Aww!!!! Don't stress, just wait the week out. If it's not done, then he obviously doesn't care about your business! Will you be able to find another person to make it soon? Maybe you should start looking now, and asking questions....
Re: 2010 brides.........
Hey Girls! Soo im leaving today for Pak InshAllah :) Just wanted to post a quick something to ask you guys to pray that everything goes well at my brothers wedding and also my engagement..will post again when im back..and in the interim if i find the time! x :D