2010 brides.........

Lifestyle Wedding, Fashion & Beauty
1

hi girlies

we have our own lil group here!!!

tell me what is your fear…or what are the things that are stressing/ worrying u…

i will start with mine…

  • worried about what to wear - still need to decide i want something nicce and different and that will make me look out of this world

  • how i will look on the day - make up and dress wise

  • will my in laws ( his fam friends etc) like me

  • im not that great in the kitchen- even though i doubt they will expect me to cook for my time there but i should know how to cook if u know what i mean

  • the heat will i be able to deal with it

oh the list can go on…

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Mizz, I assume you are going to pakistan? Just read the heat bit!!!

My dilemmas are:

  1. is a few meetings suffice for me a brit born and him a-pakistani born to get married

  2. will i really be able to cope as the bari bahu in pakistan away from (miserable) england

  3. will he really love me as much as I love him, we he compromise with me as much as i will do with him?

  4. how can i make him respect me without me transforming into a manipulative nag?

  5. will i ever be able to wear flats!!!! as he is 6ft and i m 5'2 !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

3

I am stressed out lets see if this helps

  1. How will my clothes turn out, (MIL is picking it out)
  2. i can't cook , will i ever be able to cook
  3. I dont know how well i would be able to juggle studies, being a wife,working and household work
  4. I hope nothing goes wrong in this process of this wedding
  5. will he be able to handle the responsibility and still be the same as he was.
  6. don't want to have kids until i am done with education
  7. when will all this be overr... i am tired
  8. all the shopping in my wedding is being dependent on some one else so i hope things work out well.
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Re: 2010 brides.........

here are some of mine
- will my shopping ever be done
- hope that the shadi dates wont be changed again
- my mother in law choosing really crap and cheap clothes
- my clothes in pakistan will be done on time or not
- will i ever find my bridals (the kind i want)
- will my saas continue to control our lives (mostly his)
- will i be able to adjust in their lifestyle (me being canadian born)
- will i look like **** compared to my dewarani on the valima (both are on the same day)
- what else will my in laws cheap out on...

and the most important one

HOW WILL I LIVE WITHOUT MY MOM IN A DIFFERENT COUNTRY...

@hubnubs...lolz the last one goes for me as well...mine is 6'3 and im 5'3

****Time passssss *** October
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Re: 2010 brides.........

^ lucky girls you can wear heels all you want. i have to settle for smaller heel since i am 5'4 and he is 5'9 so i can only go for smaller heels or flats.

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Re: 2010 brides.........

i like wearing flats...but then i look like a shrimp...ive noticed my mom keeps hiding all my flats

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Re: 2010 brides.........

Wow..i guess we all have similar fears about our wedding day preps and the future.

  1. My SIL is getting both my outfits...and even though ive reassured her that I will be happy with whatever she selects...I'm still worried about it. Wedding dresses in the UK are more indian'fied and wasnt sure whether I could get an 'in' pakistani style lengha...and dont wanna look out of place...so i passed the responsibilty on to her!

  2. Will I get on with him...Ive met him a couple of times and then mostly via the internet- chatting...which is very different from face to face interaction!

  3. His family...will i get on with his extended family...what if i say something wrong (I'm going to have to keep my mouth zipped...untill I suss them all out..dunno who will be on my side). No one in my family knows his...so it really will be like getting to know strangers!

  4. Will ppl from his side of the family continue to try and cause problems...I dont want ppl saying stuff about me and Im pretty tired from it. (his extended family happen to know my family...but we dont know them).

  5. Will his family like me..his immediate family...i really want to get on with them and so far they have been great although ive still to meet most...ive basically had to get to know them via the phone and internet!

  6. Will all the wedding functions go as planned...with no major hiccups..

  7. I dont tend to make desi food that often...what if they ask me to cook something and i fail miserably...i dont think they will a im there for only three week..but i can see my finace asking me for jokes!! :-(

Komal..i think you'll look stunning and inshallah so will your devrani....dont think about the fact thats its joint...and in the end its money being saved in the family you're going into...(although i know it not easy knowing your're sharing your day with another couple...but you seem to be handling it well).

@hubnubz and Komal....i feel for you there...im 5'1 and actually im not too sure how tall he is!! lol...need to ask him that!

Does the military still control Pakistan?
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Awww Hubnubs, i can totally relate to your height dilemma lol because im 5'1 and my fiance - to be is 5'10!! Also i'll be the bari bahu once were married aswell inshallah.. and wait for it..im also brit-born and hes born and bred in Pk!! im sure u make an amazing couple and all these worries will fade away when you're there and actually living as his wife, inshallah :)

i think you can only prepare yourself so much for this situation, because at the end of the day you cant really be fully prepped for something you've never encountered before(ie getting married and the issues that come with it), its going to be a whole new experience but just have faith and do dua that your marriage is blessed with alot of love and understanding! ooh and as for wearing flats..i used to feel really self conscious at fist about the height difference but now im used to it and wear what i want to..besides girls look the best in heels ;) lol sorry for the essay hun, just had to share! xx

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Re: 2010 brides.........

ooooooooo girls...how stresses r diffrent...
i have many many stress for it...

.when wedding time will be clear & all will have np inshallah

.how i can match hijab with pakistani dress

.how i treat my in-laws family to not mind my hijab(i have a big diffrence with them in this case)

.how ill handle my bridal dress here(to not be naked as shops here just offer naked dresse)

.how ill decide abt pakistani bridal dress & function...while ill be there maybe just a weak be4!!!!

.how i should SHY there(wallah its hardest to shy like pakistanies bride to look ground & i said to my husband ill say to sis in law that u said me to shy then i dont know may she will teach me hahaha)

.how i treat them like they will be happy as they r now as i dont know even 0% abt practicing bride there...

.how i go to honeymoon as already we have to travel pakistan for wedding then travel else country to set...when between we will be able to go to third country for honeymoon ....

.how i choose the color for mehndi as i dont like yellow!!!!

.how i set my jewl there with my dress in pakistani way while it will not be a sooooo yellow gold as i cant bear it...also not be white like my own here

.how i talk less!!!!!!!!! as my husband says brides there dont talk much(o my God how possible) & seat calm!!!!!

.how all these procces will be done sweet...

.how i should treat with my bro-in-laws wife...how ppl r there...how it will be inshallah???

.how i should respect my dear abu & ami as i love them in a gentel manner of pakistanies...

.how i say speciall thanks to my dear sis in law as she did alot for us realy...

.& how it will be being a pakistani bride(dont have any idea abt it ...)

is there anyone who can help me out for these all....

10

well i might aswell add my worries to the list!

  1. will i like him/get on with him?
  2. will he adapt to life in the uk?
  3. when is the wedding actually going to happen? its a toss up between april, july or december at this point!
  4. will his mum/sister/brothers be 'evil' inlaws?
  5. will i lose weight for the wedding? (im getting bigger by the day)
  6. everyone will have a go for not wearing yellow on the mehndi
  7. everyone will have a go for not wearing red at the wedding
  8. parents will be sad if i dont wear real gold, they think it looks bad on them
  9. what will my make-up look like?

and the biggest one:

  1. will i be able to comunicate with him properly considering he doesnt speak any english!

phew.

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Re: 2010 brides.........

smile...
how he engaged with u(as u live in uk & he wants migrate there!) while he is borned in pakistan & cant speak english???/
as i know all educated can talk english there...its a qs for me now !!!

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Re: 2010 brides.........

but honestly...im going thro this right now and im realizing its so difficult i dont know if any other girls feel this way...being canadian raised and all..we have such different mind sets then from people in pakistan...especially the guys...

if you are SMART...dont trust anyone in pakistan until youve seen them in their true form....no matter how nice they are...there will be issues...

twinkling pari - im tryin my best to cope with it as best as i can but it can be hard sumtimes

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oooo komlas...come down!!!
u r not worst than me for sure im sure abt it...if u r raised out of pakistan but im not pakistani also raised out of pakistan also....never saw there....still didnt see my inlaws except my sweet parents....

so instead making hopeless mind that its hard...try to find common point...& for rest try to make common between u & ur husband....anything isnt possible...

i joined here only for knows more abt pakistan more than my husband infromation as i try to feel him in pakistani traditional culture that later when there is something between us i dont raise him be4 knowing his culture as even though he lives far from there but still i cant deny he is not my country man but i Love him so ill try on forward to seek any ways to adopt him as he tries for me....so

so now lets look forward happily & make new ways...there is thousands way Komlas jan just open ur heart ...

14

Paliz well i know hes educated in that he has gone to college and everything but his english isnt very good at all.

its an arranged marriage for me as my mum and grandad always wanted us to get married, so im following my family's wishes.

i know it will be hard but with my mum's duas im sure well all be fine :D

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Re: 2010 brides.........

smile...
even though its strange for me to marry like that but ill pray may inshallah u get adopt with him as well...
its not hard much...just go on to find love between...sorry not fin...go on to creat love inshallahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...

16

Hey girlie!!!

We soooo need to give each other tasalis here as we are in the same boat. I havent met him yet, but have seen him and talked to him only briefly but that was before this rishta thing! He was over in London, and my uncle gave me his number and said just ask him if he is ok, does he need anything etc etc, as my uncle knows him really well. My fear is that i was totally myself when i called him, chatty, witty and well i never measured my words, wonder what he is thinking now,.....muje us batoani larki se shaadi karni pare gi, kitna bol ti, kitni dominating hain!!!

Whens your wedding, mine is a cross between april or end of the year, but having said that ...i have yet to meet him and yet for his proposal to come! Its going to be one mad year!!!!

Best of luck to you and all the 2010 brides.

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Aww im here for you and im a good tassali giver and taker :D lol.. u know what i think its good that you were urself when you spoke to him, because atleast now he knows how you are and conduct urself (albeit on the phone!) im sure hes lucky to be marrying a batuni larki :) me n my finace are actually both quite chatty, but i like to take credit for making him more outgoing :D lol. well, im getting engaged in April inshallah in islamabad..wedding might be end of year or early next yr becaus ehes in the final yr of his degree :) ooh ok so whats happening now with the rishta thing? do you know when theyre officially going to ask? its always a mad year when weddings are involved, my brothers getting married inshallah in april so i knw the feeling! just buckle up and enjoy the ride :D inshallah it'll all be worth it for you xx

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Re: 2010 brides.........

Hey!! I know islamabad quite well! Im flying to paks next month to meet him, so make dua. when we both have agreed then they will propose and then kaboot---shadi!!!

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Re: 2010 brides.........

well my worries are a little different thn most of u girlies. since i already knw him very well (we been together for almost 5 years) i dont worry abt that at all. His family is much different thn mine but very down to earth...and thn i will only stay with them for 2 weeks, so thats not a problem either :)

  1. i m really worried abt the safety of my family...pakistan is just not a safe place anymore.
  2. worried abt the heat :(
  3. about my bridal outfits...even though i will be picking them out, i m not sure if i will be able to find what i want in a budget :(
  4. i m on a tight budget so...i m really stressed abt going over the budget...i just really cannot go over
  5. i hope all the decorations at the wedding turn out fine
  6. i hope i enjoy my own wedding...and m not stressed out the whole time.
  7. oh and of course that i loose all the weight and look nice and skinny for the wedding :D
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Re: 2010 brides.........

lol weight is another big worry of mine!!!!!

i have sooooooooo much to lose....