Re: 1st cousins gettin married!!
Filhal mujay apni shadi kay baray main sochnay do per bachay kay baray main bi sochain gay...
But I prefer not to marry with my cousin.. but if it happened (luck).. then i wouldn't mind..
i have asked a scholar about cousin marriages. he said that its allowed in islam but a person should look out of family first and than in family.
I am of the same understanding.
Re: 1st cousins gettin married!!
Hey!!!
i dont think theres anything wrong with first cousin marriages because when islam says somethings ryt then i support it all the way....!!!
Re: 1st cousins gettin married!!
Answering the question in point, Dr. Muzammil H. Siddiqi, former President of the Islamic Society of North America, states:
"Marriages between first cousins are allowed in Islam. In surat an-Nisa’ (4:22-24), Allah mentioned the women who are forbidden for marriage and then He said, “… Lawful to you are all beyond those mentioned, so that you may seek them with your wealth in honest wedlock…” In surat al-Ahzab (33:50), Allah mentioned to the Prophet that he may marry the daughters of his uncles and aunts from the father’s side or the mother’s side. It is the consensus of the jurists that this permission was not only for the Prophet, but it is also a permission for other believers. Muslims have practiced marriages between first cousins in all countries since the time of the Prophet.
Such marriages are allowed in many other religions and cultures as well. In United States, most of the states allow marriages between the first cousins. There is nothing wrong in this marriage.
However, it is a good practice to have a blood test before marriage. If one suspects some hereditary disease or any other problem then he/she should seek the advice of a medical expert in this field. The chances of health risk in this marriage are very rare. Most of the marriages have been good and children quite healthy."
Excerpted, with slight modifications from: http://pakistanlink.com/religion.html
Elaborating on this issue, we’d like to cite the fatwa issued by Sheikh M. S. Al-Munajjid, a prominent Saudi Muslim lecturer and author. He states:
"There is no objection whatsoever in the Islamic religion for a man to marry any of his relatives except those forbidden for marriage whom Allah mentioned in surat an-Nisaa’ (4: 23) Thus, when Allah mentioned for us the relatives to whom marriage is forbidden, we then come to know that there is no objection for the remainder of the family relations.
Among the most prominent evidence of this fact is that the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) married his daughter Fatimah to `Ali (may Allah be pleased with them) and he is the son of her father’s uncle, as well as the marriage of the Prophet himself to Zaynab bint Jahsh (may Allah be pleased with her) and she is his aunt’s daughter (i.e. his cousin); and there are many other such examples.
However, a different question may be asked, namely: “Is it better or preferable for a Muslim to marry someone he is not related to rather than a relative?”
The answer to this question varies from case to case, and perhaps it may be preferable to marry people who are non-relations, for example if one aspires to form new social ties or bonds, and regards the existence of a marriage relationship with a different family as constructive in widening the circle of social bonds." (Source: www.islam-qa.com)
Elaborating on the issue whether it is preferable not to marry close cousins, we’d like to cite for you the following fatwa:
“Islam permits marriage between first cousins. If we read the Qur’anic verses which enumerate women to whom a Muslim cannot be married, you will find that this list does not include cousins.
The Islamic view is that while marriage between cousins is permissible, it is preferable to choose a marriage partner from outside one’s family. We have to distinguish between what is permitted and what is advocated. Some clans restrict marriages to amongst their kin only – a practice far from what is advocated. It is worth stressing here that when marriage of cousins is repeated over several generations, they are bound to have more effects on children.
By permitting such marriages Islam does not encourage them. It advocates the cementing of social relations through marriages between totally unrelated families.
The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) once told one of his Companions to choose a wife from a tribe different to his, and then to choose for his son a wife from a third tribe, and to seek for his second son a girl from yet another tribe.
Preferring this course of action, Islam nevertheless permits marriage between cousins because it meets a social need.”
Excerpted, with modifications, from: IslamiCity.com - Islam & The Global Muslim eCommunity
In conclusion, it is clear that Islam, undoubtedly, permits marrying cousins. As for the issue of preferring to choose a marriage partner from outside one’s family, this varies from one case to another. Yet, Islam is generally keen to widen the circle of social bonds. As for the fear of hereditary diseases, it is a good practice to have a blood test before marriage. If one suspects some hereditary disease or any other problem then he/she should seek the advice of a medical expert in this field.
May Allah guide you to the straight path and direct you to that which pleases Him, Ameen.
Islamic View on Marrying Cousins - IslamonLine.net - Ask The Scholar
Re: 1st cousins gettin married!!
^ OK, to summarise, it says its permitted, but not advocated, better to marry someone from outside your clan, reduces genetic problems and increases interaction, betters bonds with rest of world.
I do get angry when pakistani people think it is their RIGHT that their siblings offspring should marry their own children. This is sickening to me.
personally I've got nothing against cousins getting married, but if you talk specifically about first cousins then I am against that, my first cousin's and I have a brother sister relationship, I mean how'd anybody ever get over the fact that they use to call each other with "bhai/Baji" attached to there names...?, well at least me never!.
other then that, my soon to be fiancée (meri jaan) is actually my grand father's younger sister's son's daughter :D, so its quite a distant relationship between me and her.
Re: 1st cousins gettin married!!
quite a distance? errr so her dad and your dad are cousins.
she is your second cousin
ab itni door ki bhi naheen hui.
ab woh mamoon ki saali kay dewar ki beti hoti toh alag baat thi :)
quite a distance? errr so her dad and your dad are cousins. she is your second cousin ab itni door ki bhi naheen hui.
ab woh mamoon ki saali kay dewar ki beti hoti toh alag baat thi :)
to bhai mere what about my phupo's kiddo's?, aren't they my second cousins?!?.
sigh... yaar this whole family web thing is too complicated for dumbasses like me! :p.
Re: 1st cousins gettin married!!
my parents do not approve of such practice and neither do we.
Re: 1st cousins gettin married!!
i only hv 2 first cousins 
younger than me
cousin marriages happen ALL the time whether anyone approves or not!
people in pakistan actually prefer it to marrying outside the family. i guess because they know each other more.
Marriages between first cousins are allowed in Islam.and there's nothing wrong in it,one can marry his/her first cousin. But I believe that the risks are much higher for birth defects in such marriages.
Re: 1st cousins gettin married!!
^^^ exactly.
plus, meeting new ppl and making new relationships and extending ur family, i.e. mother in law, sis in law, etc, is what marriage should be all about.
Re: 1st cousins gettin married!!
I still don't like it! The world is a great big place, why do some families want to restrict themselves to marriage within their own clan, like its a sin to marry outside.
Yes, a lot of ppl i have come across in pakistan DO consider it a sin against all natural laws to marry OUTSIDE your immediate family. I'm sick of ppl who consider it their natural right to demand the daughter of their sister or brother as the spouse for their child, as if they have ultimate claim on them.
Yayyy, I was waiting for someone to bring this point up. I agree totally.. the thing is with first cousin marriages (like I’ve seen with my parents), everyones too close from both sides, no space to breathe. Like with my mom, my dad’s sisters (4 of them) ALL believed they had every right to have a say in mom’s life, try and teach her how to bring her kids up and then also tell her that the best rishta she’ll ever find for them is their kids :halo: (as brought up by them last year when we unfortunately decided to holiday in Pakistan)..
Anyway, all their dreams went downhill as mom & dad refused telling them we were far toooo young and we would choose who we wanted to marry ourselves.. they absolutely could not stand to hear that.. so they stopped talking to my dad & mom. I say good ridance 
. However, mom and dad feel differently because they were dad’s sisters and mom had also known them all her life, so even though they wouldn’t talk to them again for our sake, they still regret everything that happened. So personally I think it’s because when you marry a first cousin, you know them veryyy well, you know the whole family, you have expectations/hopes & when everything comes crashing downhill, your left with nothing to do with them and a big fat lot of disappointments. I think - all that should and can be avoided ONLY if people stop looking at cousin-marriages as the ONLY option in the world left when it comes to marriages. If it just happens, fine.. but NO need to have to make it happen.
Re: 1st cousins gettin married!!
i agree with rupay halwa, i think is wrong to do an arranged marriage between cousins, because they already know one another very well, and its hard to suddenly switch from your own family to inlaws, and yes you should try to marry outside of your clan.....
however, in my case i fell in love with him, he is my khala's son. i never knew him because i live in the states and he lives in pk, i feel like its different for us because we fell in love, and just like my parents did i'm going to keep my doors open when it comes time for kids, yes i want them to marry outside, however if they fall in love within the family then what can me and him do and its not like its wrong, because if it really was that wrong ALLAH would not have allowed it!!
to bhai mere what about my phupo's kiddo's?, aren't they my second cousins?!?.
sigh... yaar this whole family web thing is too complicated for dumbasses like me! :p.
no, they would be your first cousins. :)
Nothing wrong with cousin marriages
There’s nothing wrong with cousins getting married, scientists say
Risk of babies having genetic defects ‘has been overstated’
By Steve Connor, Science Editor
Wednesday, 24 December 2008
The risk of giving birth to babies with genetic defects as a result of marriages between first cousins is no greater than that run by women over 40 who become pregnant, according to two scientists who call for the taboo on first-cousin families to be lifted.
Women in their forties are not made to feel guilty about having babies and the same should apply to cousins who want to marry, said Professor Diane Paul of the University of Massachusetts in Boston and Professor Hamish Spencer of the University of Otago in Dunedin, New Zealand. Although first-cousin marriages are legal in Britain, there have been calls to ban the practice because of reports that it has resulted in a higher-than-average incidence of birth defects in certain immigrant communities where it is common and culturally acceptable.
However, Professors Paul and Spencer said that the risk of congenital defects is about 2 per cent higher than average for babies born to first-cousin marriages – with the infant mortality about 4.4 per cent higher – which is on a par with the risk to babies born to women over 40. “Women over the age of 40 have a similar risk of having children with birth defects and no one is suggesting they should be prevented from reproducing,” said Professor Spencer, whose co-authored study is published in the online journal Public Library of Science.
First-cousin marriages were once quite common in Europe, especially among the elite – Charles Darwin married his first cousin Emma Wedgwood – but that changed in the late 19th-century as people, especially women, became more socially mobile and the risks became more evident. The stigma attached to first-cousin marriages was supported by early studies into human genetics suggesting that “recessive” versions of a gene (which are not expressed unless there are two of them, one from each parent) are more likely to be expressed in the children of genetically related parents, as well as more likely to be defective.
Most states in America have either outlawed or restricted the practice, as has China, Taiwan and both North and South Korea. Professor Spencer, an evolutionary zoologist, said these laws should be repealed, especially in America, where he said they were drafted in a way that discriminated against the rural poor and immigrants: “Neither the scientific nor social assumptions behind such legislation stand up to close scrutiny. Such legislation reflects outmoded prejudices about immigrants and the rural poor and relies on over-simplified views of heredity. There is no scientific grounding for it.”
In the UK, the issue came to the fore when the MP Phil Woolas, now the Immigration minister, claimed earlier this year that first-cousin marriages within Asian communities in Britain resulted in an increasing number of children with health problems. “A lot of arranged marriages are with first cousins, and that produces lots of genetic problems in terms of disability [in children],” Mr Woolas said.
Peter Corry of St Luke’s Hospital in Bradford estimates that among people of Pakistani descent in the city, 55 per cent of whom marry first cousins, the risk of recessive genetic disorders – the type due to related parents – is between 10 and 15 times higher than in the general population. A 2004 study found that 13 out of 1,000 Asian children born in the Bradford area had inherited recessive disorders, which can lead to disabilities.
There’s nothing wrong with cousins getting married, scientists say - Science, News - The Independent
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I did a quick GS search and skimmed through some posts on this topic. Just wanted to share this article. So what are your views on this subject??
Based on the fact that it's allowed in Islam, I never had anything against it. In fact, I know quite a few families where they've practiced first cousin marriages sometimes over more than a single generation (i.e. their parents are first cousins, and then the children of those parents once again married their first cousins). Their children are fine, Alhamdulillah.
Whenever I've heard/seen people being worried about children from cousin marriages, it's almost always seemed to me that they're exaggerating the risk. I've studied genetics in biology class, and I know the principle of having recessive genes become more common after generations of cousin marriages but when done in one or two consecutive generations, I wouldn't worry about it too much.
As far as the social aspect, it really doesn't bother me. I see a couple consisting of cousins to be just as legitimate as a couple consisting of otherwise unrelated man and wife.
Re: Nothing wrong with cousin marriages
Can someone define the terms "first", "second".. cousins? quite confused.