Zahra Haiders Article about relationships in Pakistan

[terebina786]

Re: Zahra Haiders Article about relationships in Pakistan

@redvelvet

And I’ve said it before…you have some folks who love to deflect from the subject at hand. When there’s a discussion on zina…deflectors will say, “yeah but gossiping is much worse.” Two different things…stick to the subject.

What is the argument being made here? That a marriage certificate or a nikahnama doesn’t necessarily validate sexual relations? Or reckless sex with a gajillion partners that entails MUTUAL consent is better/superior than having only one sexual partner in a forced marriage that is not legitimate according to shariah in the first place? So we’re comparing wrong with wrong …haram with haram…and measuring whether they’re equally worse or one is worse than the other? Or is it a defensive retaliation of “Oh yeah…well the conservative cultures are no better than the liberal one?” Just focus on Zehra’s situation. Is promiscuity better/worse than exercising sexual relations only within the confines if a VALID and mutual marriage? Which of the two bodes better for society on the whole? Unchecked recklessness of Zehra’s variety…or having some boundaries/limits? Which results in more benefits or harm. Compare right to wrong…don’t compare 2 wrongs to point our that one messed up approach or system us just as bad as another.

This is subjective based on someone’s beliefs.. What is better? The feeling of it? The “halal-ness” of it. What defines better? What if said person doesn’t believe in marriage and never want to get married? What if said person is an atheist and doesn’t care to answer to a higher being? Also I think the argument is not necessarily is promiscuity because there are people who are Muslim and have sex outside of a marriage and are by no stretch of the imagination promiscuous. It should be is sex outside of marriage better (still not the right word) than inside of legal/valid marriage?

Also, I didn’t read anywhere in her article that she’s telling people/girls to behave like her. She’s not giving people a free pass to go forth and be great. She’s telling HER story. She’s opening up a dialogue for girls in situations like her, whether as promiscuous as her or not, to speak about sex without being ashamed - the good, the bad and the ugly. And yeah to Deeba’s point sexual relations doesn’t necessarily equate to sex.