Zabardasti ki shadi

Lifestyle Relationships
1

I have 2 questions for the ladies (and guys also)

  1. Do you see a difference between arrange marriage and zabardasti ki shadi.

  2. What are the pros and cons of arrange vs love marriage and what would be your choice.

I just wanted to know this, and I think that this is more of a wedding forum question than Life1 question ..

but mods can still move it to whichever forum they think it belongs to.

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Re: Zabardasti ki shadi

What's on your mind TLK :ASA:

3

Re: Zabardasti ki shadi

^^ Zabardasti ki shadi .. i guess :hmmm:

4

of course is there a big difference between zabardast ki shaadi and an arranged shaadi. arranged shaadi means just.. somebody of ur family/friends...whoever proposes u a girl or guy. i think it just became used to to think arrange and pressure means the same!

and unfortunatly in our traditions it also become use not to see anymore difference.

arrange means how i already said somebody proposes u rishta and at least its ur decision to decide if u want to marry this guy or girl...

and however everything have advantages and disadvantages...

AJ BOHAT DIL UDAS HY
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Re: Zabardasti ki shadi

Zabardasti ki shaadi would be a marriage where you had NO choice in the matter. It is what it is, deal with it.

Arranged would be a marriage where the bride and groom were introduced to each other via family. However, in this scenario you can have a choice to say yes/no and it would still be an arranged marriage.

What girl wouldnt want to fell head over heels in love? :)

I think love marriages satisfy our romantic side but not necessarily our practical side sometimes. In this day and age though, I dont see how one would have any more of a success rate than the other. Women arent majboor anymore, divorce is becoming a bit more acceptable (even though its still looked down upon in some circles), women are more independant, partners dont feel the need to stick it out anymore in a bad relationship.

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Re: Zabardasti ki shadi

  1. there is a huge difference in arrange and force marriage. In arrange you have a choise in force u dont.

  2. its a very difficult topic, bcuz love marriage is getting more ususal nowadays. but i dont see anything wrong with arrangemarriage as long as both the partners agree nd so on. most of the times, arrangemarriages turn into love, so its just abt luck i guess.
    Love marriage... it depends how u interpret it. if it is that a boy and a girl first is dating nd all that then i'd say no. But if it is done in a proper way; like, the guy nd the girl talk to their parents that they like eac other, nd then they decide... then its ok.

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Re: Zabardasti ki shadi

^ I agree wid u.. u read ma mind..!

Today in History
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Re: Zabardasti ki shadi

Arranged marriage is allowed, Forced marriage is not allowed. There are several Sahi Hadith on this. Even love marriage (marriage of your own choice) is allowed. But both arranged and love have conditions :D

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Reply to red ... what if you as parents clearly see that girl or the boy is not in a right frame of mind and they are saying no to the marriage just cause its an arranged one ..

Reply to blue ... Now you confused the whole issue .. people in this thread are saying that arrange marriage is the marriage of your choice (where no one is forcing you) ... you are saying that marriage of your choice is Love marriage.

which one is it?

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Re: Zabardasti ki shadi

to answer the blue, i think its a bit of both.
an ideal arranged marriage is like setting someone up on a blind date to choose their mate- you still agree to meet the other person and get to know them, and if you like each other and/or trust someone else's judgement to make the decision for you (like your parents), then you get married to them. so you get to choose what you do.
a love marriage is where the families aren't necessarily involved from the start... the couple do their own thing i.e. choose each other, and then decide on their decision and let the family know. this can have negative and positive outcomes- the families might trust their kids choices and go with it, or they might dig their heels in over hurt pride or misunderstandings or because they just don't feel the decision is right.

11

this is so cute, Niksik.

please order me a denda too.

Tum nay toh keh diya
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Re: Zabardasti ki shadi

I am agree with you TLK, tumharey our merey khayaalat kitney miltey jultey hain.

Tum agar shadi shuda na hotey tu kunwarey hotey :k:

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Re: Zabardasti ki shadi

Zabardasti ya love, baat to ek hi hai. It's still a marriage, you will still face problems :D ie: woman: blah blah blah SCREAM blah blah

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Re: Zabardasti ki shadi

This is SO not a wedding forum thread. I expect to see it moved. :chai:
SGC?

15

Re: Zabardasti ki shadi

There is a huge difference between the 2.

Arranged marriage: There's presence of one's consent

Zabardasti: There's no trace of any consent of the person/s getting married

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1) If you as parent can see that the boy or girl are not in the right state of mind but still want to get married, they first should try to advice the child to stand back and think about it. If possible ask others to help out aswell. If the child still insists (and is old/legal enough to marry the other person they should go ahead with it and marry them. There are several hadith on this topic :)

2) An arranged marriage is a marriage where two people are introduced to each other by parents. So the parents do see a future before hand
A love marriage is where a boy and girl start liking each other before telling their parents. They know how the other feels and both want to get married. After this they talk to their parents and send them over for an offical proposal :D

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Re: Zabardasti ki shadi

I know there is a huge difference.
ZABERDASTI ki shadi is ugly. I was engage to a girl, who I didn't like. Some ppl thought they would still get me to marry her.
Never did.
Waisted her/my time.
Caused enormous pain to her and not too pleasant for me either.

Dream interpretations
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Re: Zabardasti ki shadi

Arrangements seem to be successful when the parents LISTEN and HEAR what their children tell them. When the parents are "in-tune" with their children and want nothing other than their happiness.

When "other things" get involved - whether its family alliances, land ownerships, business dealings....and its kind of "forced" then its def NOT a good thing. The happiness and well-being of your child shoud come first, foremost and ONLY. THEN it can be successful.

Otherwise, wait for your prince charming, your love. I did and it was so very well worth the wait! :)

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Re: Zabardasti ki shadi

^^ How can one be so certain that you will never get any happiness out of the 'Force Marriage'. For most of the part, reluctancy to get married without your will sounds more like an ego issue than anything else

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Re: Zabardasti ki shadi

My Aunty had a Forced Marriage, she didnt like her husband becoz he wasnt the best of lookers. he was quite a big guy and my Aunty was like a model, at first she didnt get on with him. but Allahumdillah it has been 14 years since their wedding and they are soooooo happy together and have 3 adorable kids......it depends on the individualls and how they treat each other. My Aunties Husband is such a sweet guy, :)

Bad day go away