I cant stand this whole zaat discussion that takes place in so called upper societies. I think its pure jihalat! What on earth does zaat have to do with anything???
Unless my zaat people start paying my bills for me, I am not required to take zaat into consideration. Simple.
A few years ago, this guy I knew liked me. He liked me so much he told his parents without asking me or mine. Long story short, they came over and had dinner at my house. Both dads were talking and HIS father asked my dad "aap logon ki zaat kya hai?". Bear in mind, my dad is Sheikh Siddiqui and my mom is Syed so to a certain extent these guys are a little proud too. BUT its not relevant in such a situation so my dad got PO'd at his father. He told him straight up "bhai hum zaat paat mein believe nahin karte hein, hum family, talim aur larka ka character dekhte hein. Uski zaat valon ne aake meri beti se shaadi thordi karni hai". I was so proud of my dad at that moment, even though I really liked the guy. That is NOT the type of family I want to marry into at all. This is a sign of REgression not PROgression.
I think its ridiculous because in the end, my Syed-ness or Sheikh-ness wont make me a better person nor will someone else's Chaudhry-ness make them a more able partner/daughter/mother/sister. It doesnt work like that. These are man made qualifications we insist on and all they do is create an even bigger divide amongst Muslims. A Muslim needs to be a SUNNI, HANAFI, FROM KARACHI - PK AND BELONG TO A SHEIKH/SYED FAMILY??? What? Nowhere in the Quran has Allah mentioned this.
I hate to say this but Muslims have absolutely NO UNITY. Ye nahin to vo, vo nahin to ye...kisi na kisi baat pe behes karte rehte hein.
i disagree, while i think it is every one's private business who they wed. i am a syed and i wanted as a girl to marry a syed so that my children enjoy the same heritage as me. religiously it is a gift so why not be thankful for what you have? although every one is free to do what they please, i know many a tiffs in my extended family over the fact that somebody married into non syeds, i strongly feel every one has the right to make that decision for themselves. however i wouldnt quite say it is all crap, being syed to me is something of a blessing and i cant thank Allah enough for granting that blessing on my child as well.