Many of the guys that I have come across don’t tend to talk as much as females in general. I have even had many conversations (in general) and most guys don’t talk as much. I believe I only know a few who could talk a lot and almost on any topic at hand. I’m sure there must be plenty of women who don’t talk much as well.
So far I’ve noticed I tend to get bored when in the company of those who do not talk much. Although there are times when I don’t talk much myself.
How does one deal with their spouse/significant other who does not talk a lot? Do you somehow find common interests or develop common interests? Do you talk about everyday stuff till you run out of things to say? Or do you just talk when necessary or when you can think of something to say?
Re: Your spouse/significant other who doesn’t talk much
I’m really quiet in person, and my Fiance is the complete opposite of me in most ways…i’m more of a one-on-one person, whereas he is very social and outgoing…i’ve often wondered myself, y the heck is he with me? i’m nothing like him! But his answer to this is that we balance each other out and that opposites do indeed attract…i don’t think he has ways to “deal” with me as such, but i think we just compliment each other and he’s never complained if i’ve been shy or reserved around his family or friends…
Some interests were the same when we met, and some we have found together over the years…the thing is that i’m not that quiet with him (just others in general, except for my immediate family), so i don’t bore him and since we r long distance rite now, it seems we never have enough time on the phone to talk about everyday stuff and all our dreams, goals, etc…
Talking just when necessary? hmm, well maybe in the old days (like my mother’s wedding) in the beginning perhaps the couple, or just one of them, was extra shy/quiet and only talked to each when necessary, but i don’t think that happens much now…at least not in my case…when i have something to say to him i just say it and vice-versa…
Re: Your spouse/significant other who doesn't talk much
Well I do know a woman who had a very quiet husband..it drove her nuts..not only was he quiet but he was uninterested and very laid back...almost to the point fo laziness. he woudl just sit around and read and hardly ever talk to her..only when necessary
She learnt to live with it...not that he didn;t loev her..he was just the quiet type...sigh
Re: Your spouse/significant other who doesn't talk much
I'm the quiet one. My husband told me in the beginning of our marriage he sometimes worried that I didn't like him. But soon he understood that I'm not one of those girls that have to constantly be talking. We're both pretty independent and can just do our own things. But when we're together we joke around and conversation comes naturally. You don't have to think of things to say. It's not like we're here to entertain eachother. I think after a while you develop a comfort level. You understand eachother and don't wonder what's going on in the other's head.
Neither of us are social butterflies. I hate parties. He hates them more than I do. We both have a circle of close friends and family. I'd say I'm a homebody. I enjoy solitary activity like running, reading, painting, art, cooking. I'm a very boring person.
Re: Your spouse/significant other who doesn't talk much
^^
What she said...
And I guess after a while, after having achieved the comfort level Saima is talking about, silent gaps need not be filled by needless words...Just the knowing is enough...
Re: Your spouse/significant other who doesn’t talk much
I defo am a chatterbox and he is quiet, says as much is ‘needed’.
Yes, sometimes i want to kill him for it …i natter and natter and he’s umming and aahing and tryign to wonder what the need for all the smalltalk was.
And then at times i’m having a quiet moment and he’s going on…and the i’m like shushhhhhhhhhhhh to him…
So i get my own back
But generally i much prefer talkative people cuz i’m one myself. I could talk about anything under the sun…even if it is all bongiya…i still go for gold
Re: Your spouse/significant other who doesn't talk much
I'm a lot more quiet than most girls. I am just more shy and it takes me a lot of time to open up with both men and females. I guess I need to be with a talkative man or else there will be a lot of silence until I am comfortable enough to open up and start talking. Eventually, I think when two people are comfortable together, the conversation flow will begin naturally. In the mean time, I would think that going out to different places, sharing and taking part in each others hobbies/interests will get the conversation flow started, and once the comfort level is there, you won't need to make that extra effort to do things in order to have something to talk about. I hope that made sense!
Re: Your spouse/significant other who doesn't talk much
I am a very talkative person, the need to discuss little things in everyday life and my fiance is pretty quiet. He will talk constantly when there is something to say, and he feels he should talk abt it. But other than that, its him listening to my blabber with hmms and oks. I honestly dont know how we are going to adjust when we get married. I wish i knew the answer to that. Its easy when u r on the phone, but actually being with the person is totally different.
I guess i will just wait it out and see.
Oh yeah and he also says, when we are both comfortable with our relationship, there may not be the need for useless words. Silence will be enough for both of us.
Re: Your spouse/significant other who doesn’t talk much
Some of this is rooted in the childhood experiences of the genders. Watch the behavior of the children in the playground. Girls talk and they love to talk. Boys like to run around and do things. As these children grow older, young women find it easier to just converse to each other and bond. For young men, many of them, conversational-skills are an acquired skill and it develops over time. Girls have practised this skill all their lives whereas boys turn to it as it becomes a necessity in their post-adolescent years.
Re: Your spouse/significant other who doesn't talk much
^ It might be because they're immitating the men and women they have in their lives - like parents, teachers, neighbors, uncles, aunties, adults they see on tv, what is fed to them in cartoons, etc.
