There doesn't seem to be a real answer doesn't it? In desi relations, I feel it's a constant damned if you do, damned if you don't. Grit your teeth and don't respond in kind...people see it as practically an invitation to continue with their nasty comments. Give back as good as you get, and for reasons completely unknown to me, get your *ss handed to you while the perpetrator of this nonsense walks away smelling like roses.
Or have I just become too cynical?
They don't always walk away smelling like roses. How would you know that this is the case? Hmmm..........sometimes when you confront someone who is frequently hurting others and tell them......nicely even.........that, "Look, I'm not oblivious to what you're doing. I thought of giving you the benefit of the doubt......even let things go a few times......but now I'm thinking that when you're consistently behaving this way......my doubts are not unreasonable, etc etc." It puts the person on the spot. Sure....some of the clever ones might deny it and make you feel foolish for "doubting" them. But.......there are some who will have to face the fact that you KNOW what they're doing..........and they have their guilty/embarrassed conscience to deal with. And.....that's uncomfortable....not at all like smelling like roses.