sometimes i feel like desi women hide it if they are divorced because of how desi people react to it like she has the plague or they show pity like she has one foot in the grave
Re: your initial reaction when you come across a Divorced desi lady?
My initial reaction was like: Oh my, she looks just like a normal human 
Some people may hide it to avoid judgmental/stupid comments.
Others may hide it because they think it’s none of anyone else’s business.
Baaqi, not all desis are dumb in the head.
Re: your initial reaction when you come across a Divorced desi lady?
Reaction is pretty much same for both divorced guy or girl. We give that slight pause when we come across such guy or girl but things are getting better.
Re: your initial reaction when you come across a Divorced desi lady?
I am not sure what your point is.
Are your referring to hiding they are divorced when they meet someone new?
Re: your initial reaction when you come across a Divorced desi lady?
We were upset when csn sis got divorced .
Other than tht,divorces are pretty normal in Saudia so its not a shock or anything.
Re: your initial reaction when you come across a Divorced desi lady?
I think I have grown up and try not to make judgement on people's lives.
Re: your initial reaction when you come across a Divorced desi lady?
It is not necessary that wonderful people also have wonderful qismat.
Re: your initial reaction when you come across a Divorced desi lady?
I don't understand what reaction you are talking about. Are you talking about the judgemental and condescending reaction that takes place in a person's brain? Or the outward physical reaction?
In either case, what would you be reacting to? Should you even be reacting to it? ('it' being whatever it is you are presumably reacting to)
Re: your initial reaction when you come across a Divorced desi lady?
i just know somebody that is going through a divorce and one of her married friends decides to keep her distance from her and ignores her calls, before she broke the news to her, they saw each other almost every week. i mean what's wrong with such people
Re: your initial reaction when you come across a Divorced desi lady?
My divorce is not my definition. I only tell people who have any business knowing like a potential spouse. If I meet someone who thought I was still married I might tell them. But that's it.
I noticed that some people do hesitate to talk to a divorced person thinking its contagious but that's not really a loss for me. Alhumdulillah I've been blessed with an amazing support system and I hate fazool ki dramay baazi so it doesn't bug me.
I don't think people hide it with the intention of hiding it. Its more about who they want to tell.
Re: your initial reaction when you come across a Divorced desi lady?
People make assumptions about divorced women, and it's wrong, and shouldn't happen, but then so shouldn't half the crap that muslims are upto these days...
People out there are crass. If they're dishonest in their daily dealings, dishonest in their connection with God, dishonest in their daily work, then obviously, they will be dishonest in their relationships. This will cause inevitable divorces, and I don't think divorces are honestly increasing in our community because women are now more free and working, but rather because people have lost their values, and they aren't good people anymore, regardless of how much they wear religion on their sleeves.
So, I'm not surprised at the number of divorcees out there, and some of them are pretty stellar people. Some of them are crass as well, but then lots of singles in the market that are undesirable too.
Re: your initial reaction when you come across a Divorced desi lady?
I am am equal opportunity tarrooo and stare non stop at them like i do at any other lady..
Re: your initial reaction when you come across a Divorced desi lady?
"She is single and hot" :D
Re: your initial reaction when you come across a Divorced desi lady?
My divorce is not my definition. I only tell people who have any business knowing like a potential spouse. If I meet someone who thought I was still married I might tell them. But that's it.
I noticed that some people do hesitate to talk to a divorced person thinking its contagious but that's not really a loss for me. Alhumdulillah I've been blessed with an amazing support system and I hate fazool ki dramay baazi so it doesn't bug me.
I don't think people hide it with the intention of hiding it. Its more about who they want to tell.
Same what Reha said !
to me it is something about my past and those people who need to know about it will get to know about it otherwise I don't want to share something with people that even does not affect me anymore.
Yes , but I do get a tough time when people ask all sort of stupid questions about my kid's father. They are usually not satisfied with a one line reply that "he has not kept any contact with her at his own will "
Re: your initial reaction when you come across a Divorced desi lady?
courage and confidence.
Re: your initial reaction when you come across a Divorced desi lady?
is the reaction different for male divorcees?
Re: your initial reaction when you come across a Divorced desi lady?
You guys would be surprised at the kind of things people say...you develop a thicker skin but not before being hurt a few times.
I once had someone say to me "you don't look divorced"...which is very confusing because I am not sure what that means. What do divorced people look like? Sad? That comment struck me as very odd.
When you're in the beginning stages...you expect those around you to be compassionate and understanding...especially women. But most are not. I had one girl who was a VERY good friend of mine since college simply stop talking to me after I told her what happened. She was married. I never heard from her again after that conversation and I could tell something had changed.
It taught me a lot about people and I realized how blessed I was to have my family, my best friends (two of which are married with kids) and the ability to get past this. It also taught me to stop being judgmental because you never know what the future will bring your way and you as a human being are not above anything or anyone.
So yeah, there are people out there who will treat you like you have the plague but its alright...I know something they don't know ;)
Re: your initial reaction when you come across a Divorced desi lady?
I and my parents have experienced alot but the one worth mentioning here is when I was going through divorce one of our relatives invited my parents for a religious ceremony at their house , before my divorce was known to them they were very kind and polite with us , but that day the main lady of that family gave so much attitude to my mom ignoring her all the time and then in the end spoke with her quite harshly. Offcourse that was the last time my parents went there but really did not understand why you invited someone when you are so much looking down upon them and did not intend to treat them with respect.
Re: your initial reaction when you come across a Divorced desi lady?
Yeah...the worst is when your parents have to deal with it.
Re: your initial reaction when you come across a Divorced desi lady?
You guys would be surprised at the kind of things people say...you develop a thicker skin but not before being hurt a few times.
I once had someone say to me "you don't look divorced"...which is very confusing because I am not sure what that means. What do divorced people look like? Sad? That comment struck me as very odd.
When you're in the beginning stages...you expect those around you to be compassionate and understanding...especially women. But most are not.** I had one girl who was a VERY good friend of mine since college simply stop talking to me after I told her what happened. She was married. I never heard from her again after that conversation and I could tell something had changed. **
It taught me a lot about people and I realized how blessed I was to have my family, my best friends (two of which are married with kids) and the ability to get past this. It also taught me to stop being judgmental because you never know what the future will bring your way and you as a human being are not above anything or anyone.
So yeah, there are people out there who will treat you like you have the plague but its alright...I know something they don't know ;)
this is something i wanted to talk about actually, but was waiting for someone to point it out first :)
Is there any chance the married friend was cut off from your life when you initially got married and got busy with your life? Did you maybe feel that she felt cut off when u got married... and your divorce had nothing to do with it?
Ive had a few really good friends who cut me off during their engagement period, to the point i only saw their wedding pics to find out they were married.... yet, when they got divorced they asked me why I cut them off.... and i am to this day shocked at the accusation
I cant identify with the pain a divorcee goes through.. cant begin to imagine the amount of chitter chatter they must have to face... and i applaud all those who have kept their head held up high.. but id just like to point out, and i may have done this before too, that married friends dont necessarily cut their divorced friend off, it may very well be the other way around.
And yes, you are all right to state that as someone going through all the pain and grief... a friend should be there regardless. Truth is, sometimes we are cut off already, we are not aware of the current situation.
Just my 0.2 cents worth of banter