Re: Your humble Opinion
I did not imply that a guy is a moneymaking machine. I stated that if a person (person as in male or female) cannot support themselves financially, honestly, they are not ready for marriage and should not even be contemplating it. The reason I used the word “person” and not “guy” is that I believe that this applies to both men and women. If a couple is being supported by their families (either set) while “getting settled,” what will they do if one of the parents falls seriously ill, has an accident, loses their job or they are faced with some other catastrophe that strains the family’s finances? My comment was in reference to PCG’s suggestion that if a guy cannot support himself because he is still studying, his family should support the couple.
I would also like to point out that earlier generations of immigrants often migrated abroad with no support system in place (as in, no one to support them while they were “getting settled”) and managed to do quite well for themselves. I see no reason why a person (such as the gentleman in the OP’s post) cannot study AND work. Does our generation lack our parent’ work ethic? A personal example of this is my own parents. When my parents immigrated (or rather fled, no thanks to the Soviet occupation) to Denmark in the early eighties, my parents went from having decent, skilled jobs in our country (my father ran his own business and my mother was a professor) to having to work menial jobs in Denmark to help support the household. They worked menial jobs AND went to evening classes to learn Danish and later study for the exams to obtain equivalency for their education in Denmark. They never asked either of their families for a single pound (or rather, a single kroner) or asked their families to support them, using the excuse “we’re still getting settled” or “well, we just got here.” Eventually they did quite well for themselves and moved to the UK and started a business here, which, due to their hard work, has been quite successful.
Many of my friends’ parents had similar experiences. They migrated here with little or nothing and worked hard to become successful. I doubt they would have been comfortable with their in-laws supporting them for any length of time. One of my friend’s parents even stated that this trend of getting married before one can support oneself is new and that this was uncommon in his generation. In fact, he stated that rather than asking their families for money, they SENT money TO their families, despite having to struggle here. He stated something to the effect of “I came here from Pakistan with less than a high school education and I worked and I studied at night and helped my wife do the same. I struggled but I managed to provide for my family and give them a decent life without anyone’s help. Are young guys these days not capable of doing that?” Based on the number of stories similar to the OP’s, I guess not.