Re: Your humble Opinion
You make marriage sound like a business deal. A guy is not a money making machine (just like a girl is not a maid or cook).
Transitioning from Pakistan to any of the developed countries is challenging, especially for someone who is stepping out of Pakistan for the first time and his dad is not a landlord or politician with loads of easy money to support him financially.
In a sponsorship arrangement, it is assumed that initially the girl and/or her family will help the guy settle in and for the short-term (while he is unemployed and either studying or looking for a suitable job), the girl’s side will bear the major living expenses. The guy may or may not take a part-time job to cover some of the expenses (that would depend on how long his study period is). Of course, if the guy comes from a rich family jo Pakistan main baith ke dollars main rent aur tuition fees de sakte hain, that’s great for the girl! They got lucky! But most people can’t afford that. When you take someone into your family, it is assumed you’ll treat them like your own.
I know of many cases where the girls here sponsored Pakistani guys from Pakistan/Dubai/UK. Initially, the couple stayed in the girl’s parents’ home. After a few months/years, the couple moved to their own place, the guy took a part time job and enrolled into a study program to upgrade his degree, and the girl was either working full time and covering majority of house bills, or she was not working / got pregnant / and in turn forcing the husband to take a full time crappy job and not have time to study. In the long-run, the couples who took the time to help the guy get a professional job (or business set up) were better off than those who pushed him to start being the breadwinner from day one.
Of course, these are all couples who are happily married and willing to support each other to reach common goals. And in all these cases, the guy was not a freeloader but genuinely making an effort to further his career so there were no grudges or unwillingness to bear his expenses for the short term.
I am not disagreeing with you that Islamically and culturally, the guy should be the provider. But I think in this specific situation (and with limited info to go on), this is a short-term set up and sounds like there may be other issues.
PCG, I don’t think the guy is “still in his education”. This guy is studying for transition exams. Sounds like he is in a professional field (i.e. well-educated from back home but needs to do transition exams to qualify to practice here).
There is simply not enough info to figure out what’s causing the fights.
But I do wonder if the girl doesn’t want to pay because there are problems in the marriage, or if there are problems in this marriage because of the whole tera-mera attitude.