Your appearance and desi culture

TheNoodle · December 8, 2011, 1:10am

Re: Your appearance and desi culture

You sure it’s ONLY desis? I belive that people of other races can be critical of looks as well. But perhaps you’ve encountered the problem mostly among desis.

I’m short…5 feet 2…and I haven’t been made fun of for my height. I was very chubby as a kid and I got teased for that…especially by relos. When I lost the weight in my mid teens…and my face was more defined and I really looked well…I found that the cousins who teased me about my weight picked on me for being too skinny and for other things. Those that never made fun of me…would compliment and were very encouraging. Funny thing is that ones who made fun of me either way…struggled with being overweight themselves. The difference between me and them was that I had enough sense not to make any less than positive comments about their looks…whereas they…being much older than I am…(and believing that I should quietly tolerate their bakwaas because they were “baajis”) failed to set a positive example (behavior wise) for those younger than them. What the experience taught me is that some people will be bitter no matter what…so lower your expectations…don’t rely upon their approval for your self-wort/esteem. I’ve talked to my mom about this issue several times…and she feels that our cousins in Pak…especailly from the city we’re from which severely lacks job opportunities for women…their main aim in life is to get married…and knowing the emphasis on fair skin and what have you…that is among their primary concerns…what they’re most competitive about. I know that there will be exceptions to the generalization and I’ve seen some. My mom didn’t say this in a way that looks down on them…but it was her explanation based upon her own observations and experiences with having grown up there.

Also, I’ve seen such insecure behavior in desis who were born/raised in the US…though not as often as in Pak.

Brilliant. I am a fan