I think, the news would have to come out, one way or another. so why not tell her now and tell her in a firm manner. show her the +ives (which i personally dont see many of) and -ives and thats that. like other guppies said, its btter to break off an engagement and its better to do it sooner than later. the longer he waits, the more it would hurt him and her. im sure her family will be happy too this way.
if she cant get her family to respect him and his family..it wont work out for too long anyways.
Re: Younger brother fell in love...engaged...now regrets..
its good he found out before marriage rather than later.
i agree with talking face to face and in neutral territory as someone above (sorry forgotton name) has already mentioned.
Re: Younger brother fell in love...engaged...now regrets..
Ever heard the saying "The only way in; is the only way out"?
Neutral Territories are for breakups or casual affairs where no emotions are involved, this was an engagement. Didn't he went to her home when he wanted to ask for her hand in marriage? why shouldn't he go to her home now? This is a serious matter and she is the one who is going to be more devastated and shocked from this news, so be sensible towards her. Asking her to come to a coffee shop and breaking the news there while she is having tea biscuit is not the most sensible thing to do. Obviously she is going to be under pressure after she hears this news and add to that they are at some public place. If she cries in a pubic place, she makes a scene and ends up feeling embarrassed or stupid afterwards. That adds more shame or loss of dignity on top of what happened. If he ever loved her sincerely and cared a bit about her, he would go to her place and tell her in private and apologize to her family. Take a family member along for moral support but let him do the talking. Its not going to be easy but a grown up's mind doesn't take the easy road. Leave her with some dignity and do it properly as a man should.
Isn't it better that an engagement is broken rather then a marriage? Your brother should break the news to her since he was the adament one before all this.This would make him learn a lesson too that could be invaluable in the long run.
I agree...why go through...KNOWING you are making a mistake. Going through it unknowingly cannot be avoided...but in his situation....not sure why he is having a change of heart....it can be avoided...
on the other hand...whatever grudges your families have against each other...should not be affecting their relationship in the first place...so if YOU and your family (or her family) are responsible for his change of heart/mind...then I feel sorry for the couple....I have seen a LOT of divorces happening due to the family forcibly breaking couples...
Re: Younger brother fell in love...engaged...now regrets..
Yeah great views. I'm impressed 2, sad for the girl she fell in "deep love"...abb kiya hoi gaa? How many hearts will break till the day of judgement? Does he love the girl? Because of sh't family you're goin' to break the heart of your beloved one? How sick is that? Please tell me?
Are you engaged with the whole khandaan or with the girl? C'mon man, for god's sake, if you love her and she loves you deeply, don't listen to others. It's your life. Baaga ke le jao ghar yaar.
last engagement I gave you my heart
but the very next day you gave it away
this time to save me from tears
I give it to someone special...
"they avoid us in any way possible, refrain from inviting us over for dinner when other neighbours are"
wow if that was the case why did they let their daughter get engaged to your brother?
ps your brother seems very immature please don't let him get engaged until he grows up. This isnt dating we're talking about. Anyways...leaving a girl just so she doesnt turn out like her mother would be awful...I feel bad for her. According to you she's madly in love with your brother and here she is being discussed on GS on how to break it off with her....poor thing!!! SAD:(
Re: Younger brother fell in love...engaged...now regrets..
No offence but your brother is obviously immature to get engaged because he was infatuated and now that he can see clearly he wants to call it off just because she might turn out to be of standards lower than your own (or so you belief). Its dispicable to treat someone as though they are a piece of meat to be shoved around when you think its gone off!!!
And another thing, why should your brother break the engagment off. Your parents should go round to the girls house and explain the situation, taking full blame for their sons stupidity and lack of respect for the girl in question and they should after having discussed it, then call it off. Even though its your brothers fault, your parents still agreed to it, hence its a family issue and her family deserve respect. You should all be ashamed of yourselfs and you need to tell your brother to grow up.
Shining star - You have seen nothing yet. I've met girls who didn't even know their husbands drank, club, drugs, etc... That's just one example. Similarly people realize things as they get older or in this case mature. They see things they didn't see before. Like you can tell ones personality by sometimes just looking at them and making a quick decision based off of that.
Are you suggesting that as we mature and find out things about our partners that maybe we didn't know before, we should just leave them? Do you know what it means to commit? And if he didn't know her well enough, why did he commit to her? Told her he was going to marry her?
Very immature on his part, you can defend him all you want but you know he made a huge mistake.
Anyways i do think its best for him to leave her because she deserves better and its better to break it off now then later. And hope that your brother grows up and doesn't waste any other girls time and energy again.
And I agree with bookend.
well..maybe they rushed him into the engagement..?..u guyz shouldnt talk like u know everything...u guyz do not know the details in this particular situation..
Are you suggesting that as we mature and find out things about our partners that maybe we didn't know before, we should just leave them? Do you know what it means to commit? And if he didn't know her well enough, why did he commit to her? Told her he was going to marry her?
Very immature on his part, you can defend him all you want but you know he made a huge mistake.
Anyways i do think its best for him to leave her because she deserves better and its better to break it off now then later. And hope that your brother grows up and doesn't waste any other girls time and energy again.
And I agree with bookend.
Shut up lol. People make choices they regret, why are you acting like it's unheard of???
[quote=maverick123;5928445
ps your brother seems very immature please don't let him get engaged until he grows up. This isnt dating we're talking about. Anyways...leaving a girl just so she doesnt turn out like her mother would be awful...I feel bad for her. According to you she's madly in love with your brother and here she is being discussed on GS on how to break it off with her....poor thing!!! SAD:([/quote]