Re: Younger brother fell in love...engaged...now regrets..
It's more than just that, it's cause the daugther is just like the mother. She has a really bad attitude problem which we all knew about but my brother didn't see till now. He can see what we saw a while back ago so he's made the decision based off of that. 10 years from now it won't be the same little kid love any more and he realized he made a mistake. Nobody talked to him about it because I respected him for doing his own thing but now he stepped up to the plate himself and said, "Mom/Dad, this isn't meant for me to be."
Re: Younger brother fell in love...engaged...now regrets..
e-mail her and tell her that there are lot of differences and he doesn't think he will be able to work them after marriage, therefore it is better that they part their ways now then getting married and realizing that it was a wrong decision.
The other option would be sit with her and explain her but for that he needs to make sure that he remains calm no matter whatever she says to him.
First of all this is ridiculously stupid. He shouldn't have gone that far. It's almost like giving someone false hope or wasting a part of their life. If you are the elder brother, I hope you smack him a few times and remind him to not do this again to someone's daughter or sister because what goes around, comes around.
e-mail her and tell her that there are lot of differences and he doesn't think he will be able to work them after marriage, therefore it is better that they part their ways now then getting married and realizing that it was a wrong decision.
are you serious?? email her?? That's a cowardly act. Be a man and face it like a man. Call her or talk to her in person. I think calling is even a cowardly act. The best thing to do is to be honest and tell her everything as it is, in person. She will curse him and its her right to do so after all he has promised her of something and then backed off. Anyways, he'll have to take it like a man but hold his ground and be gentle but firm at all times.
I don't think anyone from your family or even you should help him out. Advise him but let him deal with it. If he is stubborn enough to get into this mess, he should learn how to clean it up too. Trust me, you'll be making him a better man by letting him deal with it.
Re: Younger brother fell in love...engaged...now regrets..
Oh BTW, since you mentioned women becoming their mothers... I thought I quote Oscar Wilde here "All women become like their mothers. That is their tragedy. No man does. That's his."... true isn't it? :)
First of all this is ridiculously stupid. He shouldn't have gone that far. It's almost like giving someone false hope or wasting a part of their life. If you are the elder brother, I hope you smack him a few times and remind him to not do this again to someone's daughter or sister because what goes around, comes around.
are you serious?? email her?? That's a cowardly act. Be a man and face it like a man. Call her or talk to her in person. I think calling is even a cowardly act. The best thing to do is to be honest and tell her everything as it is, in person. She will curse him and its her right to do so after all he has promised her of something and then backed off. Anyways, he'll have to take it like a man but hold his ground and be gentle but firm at all times.
I don't think anyone from your family or even you should help him out. Advise him but let him deal with it. If he is stubborn enough to get into this mess, he should learn how to clean it up too. Trust me, you'll be making him a better man by letting him deal with it.
You're right dude. He will have to do it on his own, I'm going to talk to my parents and say just that.
First of all this is ridiculously stupid. He shouldn't have gone that far. It's almost like giving someone false hope or wasting a part of their life. If you are the elder brother, I hope you smack him a few times and remind him to not do this again to someone's daughter or sister because what goes around, comes around.
are you serious?? email her?? That's a cowardly act. Be a man and face it like a man. Call her or talk to her in person. I think calling is even a cowardly act. The best thing to do is to be honest and tell her everything as it is, in person. She will curse him and its her right to do so after all he has promised her of something and then backed off. Anyways, he'll have to take it like a man but hold his ground and be gentle but firm at all times.
I don't think anyone from your family or even you should help him out. Advise him but let him deal with it. If he is stubborn enough to get into this mess, he should learn how to clean it up too. Trust me, you'll be making him a better man by letting him deal with it.
Re: Younger brother fell in love...engaged...now regrets..
Rock, I'm sorry for your brother's predicament, but I think that he got himself into it, he needs to get himself out. He needs to man up and talk to the girl and break it off. For God's sake, don't let him do it over the phone or online, that is absolutely unacceptable. He should meet her in person in neutral territory, i.e. not her house or your house, maybe at a coffee shop or something.
First of all this is ridiculously stupid. He shouldn't have gone that far. It's almost like giving someone false hope or wasting a part of their life. If you are the elder brother, I hope you smack him a few times and remind him to not do this again to someone's daughter or sister because what goes around, comes around.
yes,i absolutely agree with that.since the girl loves him deeply,then it would be going to hurt her really badly.he should have seen everything before..sorry to say,but it seems he just played around with her heart and emotions.
Re: Younger brother fell in love...engaged...now regrets..
Shining star - You have seen nothing yet. I've met girls who didn't even know their husbands drank, club, drugs, etc... That's just one example. Similarly people realize things as they get older or in this case mature. They see things they didn't see before. Like you can tell ones personality by sometimes just looking at them and making a quick decision based off of that.
Re: Younger brother fell in love...engaged...now regrets..
I think that even though your brother is at fault (such as rushing into things, not listening to family, etc etc), he should break up the engagement if he is not content with it. Once they are married, both of them would be miserable and god forbid if their relationship breaks up, it would not be good. Atleast now they can call it off and move on, after marriage, they would be labeled as divorced which is going to be harder for the girl.
I don't understand why people here make it seem like just because you're engaged, you cannot call it off for any reason whatsoever. You don't always know the other person too well and if things come up after an engagement to show you the real them, then there's nothing wrong in order to save yourself and them from a devastating marriage later on. All this pressure on boys and girls to stick to their engagements no matter what, is the reason so many divorces occur later on, as we have clearly seen on GS.
Re: Younger brother fell in love...engaged...now regrets..
^ yea some people are just being crazy. clearly your brother did want to marry her before but things change when people mature. you can only learn from this mistakes.
a friend had been in love with a girl since his teens. he eventually convinced his parents for the engagement when he was about 20. they weren't too keen on it but he is very strong minded and he had been with her for so long with the intention of getting married. but he was now an adult and expectations from life and a partner changed. and she had changed too as her parents (mother) started becoming a lot more involved once they were engaged. he had to face up to reality and break up with her. there was lots of pain involved for both but in the long term it was for the best.
now your brother just has to deal with how he is going to do it. there is no easy way. but i'm pretty certain she will have seen it coming even if she didn't want to face up to it.
