i mean u wana earn to have your own money..which u can spend whenever u want without letting anone whr u r spending on…
or wana dependent on your hubby for money by aksing or drawing from account ?
and if u are depening on your hubby for money do u feel bad or something like that u r actually depending on someone
i m not finding appropriate words to express my point but i hope u r getting my point.
Although some day I may choose to be a stay-at-home mom, for now I am a working professional and it would be very hard for me to make the transition to asking my husband for money for personal things. I'm pretty financially responsible, but I still don't like to have to answer to someone if I want to spend some cash. I like to spend my own money especially when buying things for my side of the family, and I also would feel it so awkward if I wanted to buy my husband a birthday or eid gift but was dependent on him for the money to do so!
On a related note, I'm all for balanced partnership and understand the ideal of the man as a provider, but I also think one of a woman's most important resources is to have the ability to provide a good life for herself if necessary. Too many women are financially dependent on their husband to the point that it leaves them much more vulnerable to abuse or totally dependent on relatives in the case of divorce, death, abandonment, etc.
Re: you wana earn yourself or wana dependent on your spouse for money?
Every woman is different. A working wife might have to take a break from her job to take care of a baby in the future. During this time, she'll be more financially dependent on her husband. And when the kids are older, she might resume working again. Emergencies/pressing circumstances can crop up in the future where one spouse may have to be more dependent on the other. Also, considering how bad the economy is these days.....a wife might also have to work to help pay the bills and run the house/support the family. It's impractical to expect that one could stay at home and live off their husband's income forever......because life is unpredictable, anything can happen.....and there has to flexibility when hard times come your way.
I personally would like to work after marriage. As far as managing money is concerned, I think it's best to have a joint account and a separate account. You can put a portion of your money in the joint account and that money will contribute toward shared household expenses. And then you have a separate account which is strictly yours and it is like your safety net for emergency issues or personal expenses. I'm not married.....but this is what seems likes a good arrangement to me in my mind. However, i understand that actually being in a marriage changes things. It would be interesting to see how the married women on GS handle this issue :)
^ The personal account + joint account is what my husband and I currently do. I also have a couple of my own investment accounts and my own retirement account that I put a healthy percentage of my salary into. For now this is working well for us and I hope it will provide me some extra funds for down the road when I might stay at home for a period.
Re: you wana earn yourself or wana dependent on your spouse for money?
^ COOL. Thanks NYCGori :) The joint account and separate personal account arrangement just makes more sense to me in my head. It's convenient, it can (to a certain extent) prevent arguments over how money is spent, and it's a safety net for emergency situations......because you have something of your own stored up to fall back on. And that's a comforting thought.
Re: you wana earn yourself or wana dependent on your spouse for money?
Make my own money...I dont think I could stay at home for too long and be dependant on anyone.
Re: you wana earn yourself or wana dependent on your spouse for money?
Chandi Ji
your hubby must be lukcy dude
Re: you wana earn yourself or wana dependent on your spouse for money?
I am definitely going to work once I am married but that money will only be for me. My husband will be responsible for all the household expenses. Of course if God forbid the need arises, I will contribute but my fiance is very adamant about paying for all the expenses. I don't mind! :)
Re: you wana earn yourself or wana dependent on your spouse for money?
why the need for rules? circumstances change
there shouldnt be any his or mine after a marriage. Everything should be "ours" combined. There shouldnt be any hard or fast rules about how the money should be shared or spent
i work, i earn my own money.. yet at the end of the day, the money is not mine or his. It's ours as we're working together to achieve the same goal...
And yes, I do ask before spending... obviously depending on what it is. If it's something that may affect the goal we're trying to achieve, then its just curteous to ask... whats the harm in that?? i dont see how that's strange... its strange for me to keep the money somewhere else and not have the hubby touch it.
Re: you wana earn yourself or wana dependent on your spouse for money?
i never wanna work
i never wanna work
i
sumo u r highly educated and yet u dont wana work?
u live in usa..quite expensive country..mostly homes and car are on morgage.then u also need to pay insurance ...
i feel at parent place its different but with hubby u should work this way u dont feel under some one.
i saw my married couisn who are working they are more confident and always buy things what ever they want..
and those couisns are not working i feel they r some how at a week end.always asking money to hubbies i wana buy thsi i wana buy thta.i want money for this .some time complaning he give less money that i coulnt able to do this that..he dont give money.take money from her parents ...
apni choti choti need k liye they are dependent on hubby etc
i m working and i,ll work after wedidng even if my hubby stops me..
i saw males who doesnt let her wives work because this way they will not b dependent on them and they want them dependnt
Re: you wana earn yourself or wana dependent on your spouse for money?
I think it is super natural that man earn for his family and women utilize this money to design and arrange his state ... i mean home .... if she can spare time after designing and handelling properly then she can also earn money ... no restriction on women and no compulsory dependency on women but necessarily on men to earn for home .....
Its the Islamic theme of earning ... with a main focus on the optimized design of the home .... Western culture is really unable to understang this thing ... just focusing on one side ....
Well dont forget that our khatooon-e-awwal (Hazrat khadija Razi Allah ) waz also a bussiness woman therefore itz allowed in islam too dat a woman can earn if she wants to earn..Itz gud if a woman do job and do her earning bcoz in dis manner she will not feel depress and there will be also no fighting on the issue of money.Money is the backbone of a relationship therefore itz gud that both the partners work and struggle for their family..
Re: you wana earn yourself or wana dependent on your spouse for money?
I don't think anybody willing wants to be dependent upon anyone ( I remember some of the elders in my family openly saying ke Allah unn ko kissay ka mohtaaj na karein). Circumstances and situations change over one's lifetime which may require one to adopt a different way of thinking.
Personally, I would like to work before I had children. After that I would like to devote my time to raising them. After that, maybe return back to work.
I would feel guilty spending someone else's hard earned money.
Re: you wana earn yourself or wana dependent on your spouse for money?
I would want my wife to work while I chill at home, go for spa days, watch some day time TV, meet up with my BFFs for golf and tennis etc daily, maybe go to the beach and just chill on the boat.
sigh
we live in such sexist times...
Re: you wana earn yourself or wana dependent on your spouse for money?
absolutely make my own money... but not to extent that I forget about my family.. so I'd say perhaps a part time job to have a balance in my life but absolutely make my own money
Re: you wana earn yourself or wana dependent on your spouse for money?
i didnt say im not going to work. i said i never wanna work.
as far as being at a weaker position, i don't agree with that. we have been married a few months and i dont have a job, im studying for some exams and i don't go asking him to buy me things or give me 'pocket money' like im 10 yrs old. we have joint accounts, i have my own debt and credit cards. i pay all the bills and most of the time it is he who asks me for money. same goes for stay-at-home moms. they arent at a weaker position just cuz they don't go out and work. ur not in a weak position unless u allow urself to be.
Re: you wana earn yourself or wana dependent on your spouse for money?
I just mentioned in some other thread, a man should not keep the wife from working, considering that if he dies she should be self sufficient. And a woman should realize and acknowledge her responsibility towards the household and the family and ideally should not take up a career which ruins the married life.
Re: you wana earn yourself or wana dependent on your spouse for money?
^^ ditto that & well said .. now i wonder if us humans are as smart as you Jaanwars 
Re: you wana earn yourself or wana dependent on your spouse for money?
This is one big "cultural divide" that I've noticed between west and east. In the west, once marriage takes place, there is no more "my money, your money". Its our money, our bank account. And that goes whether both work or just one works. Joint checking, joint tax returns. And working together to pay bills, establish a monthly budget etc. A marriage is teamwork, pure and simple. So husband brings home the paycheck but the stay-home mom works just as hard - with no "paid vacation time" and no days off!
I no l onger have a job with a paycheck. Yet...both my husband and me felt strongly that it would be important for mom to be home with the kids. I surely "earn" in that regard and let me tell you, the job of stay-home mom is far more difficult than a wall-street trading floor tech career!!
The guys who think stay-home mothers sit around eating bonbons and watching soap operas all the day long are seriously misguided. And I bet invariably, they'd never be able to afford to provide the cost of how much a stay-home mom actually does!
It would be less stressful and more profitable for me to work surely. I was earning a very high salary when I "retired" to raise my kids. But this is not what I wanted and not what my hubby wanted for our kids. They are SO happy that mom is there for them all the time. And personally, I;d never be able to maintain both successful career and successful home life. Some can and thats very admirable....but often what it boils down to is ... how important is money over family?
This whole "dependence" thing is just silly IMHO. And makes marriage a competition rather than a partnership.