"You used to be so pretty"

Lifestyle Relationships
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Re: “You used to be so pretty”

KhanDraat keh Rahe Hain Imaarat Haseen Thi. :smiley:

Just kidding Hareem.

You do not need to worry about anyone. People say things somethimes without really being serious.
At times they mean well but do not know how to say. One needs to pick and choose people who to take serious who to ignore.

If you choose to answer, say: “Yes I was, but now prettier”. :snooty:

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Re: "You used to be so pretty"

Why don't you just say, "If I'm ugly, if I'm pretty, either way, I wouldn't want to be anybody else." They won't have anything to say. =) I haven't tried this, but soon, next time I go to meet my horribly blunt Uncle and his fam. >:(

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Re: "You used to be so pretty"

Hareem, you have nothing to worry about. Tell them to mind their own business. Nobody has a right to say anything about how you look. If they say something..say that is how Allah created me. Hate me or love me is your choice. But i agree, if your own sister or brother say things like that then it really does hurt. Just know that you're super awesome with lovely family.

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Re: "You used to be so pretty"

app ki ankhain meray leya khoobsoret nahi rahi.

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Re: "You used to be so pretty"

yeh baat tu such hai. suchi baat hamhesha qarvii hoti hia...

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Re: "You used to be so pretty"

LOL....that was very funny.

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Re: "You used to be so pretty"

Hareem.... thats one comment i face every other week when my relatives visit us.. they all pass comments on my health and other life failures. Sometimes i really feel bad and sometimes i don't but everytime i just smile when people say "yeh sub sey achi thi app ki family main ab kia ho gaya isy.... ab tu sirf dant hi nazar aty hian is k face per" literally people say these things to me..... sometimes it really hurts as i have little bit big teeth..... people suggest me to have braces in my teeth to improve my looks so that i will get good proposals.... but i am very stubborn.... kisi ko pasand kerna hai tu aisy hi kary why should i change my looks for someone who is really obsessed with outer looks not human nature.

just ignore these people as i do...... woh kia kehty hain k "marny waly ka haath ruka ja sakta hai but bolny waly ki zaban nahin"

just chill you have all the reasons in the world to feel happy and lucky........ A Peaceful life with your husband and children MashaAllah

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Re: "You used to be so pretty"

cutefifa, get the braces! the exact same thing happened with a relative of mine. she had braces as a teenagers but then her teeth moved and the front teeth stuck out a lot. other relatives (elders) were really mean to her and she's so stubborn she was like 'why should i do this to please other people?'. she was always very concious of her looks (that they weren't good enough compared to her sister) so she tried really hard to be better in other ways (education, career) so i can imagine to her dismay that she still wasn't appreciated for all she achieved but instead one little flaw was all that people noticed. that's human nature though. now, like more than ten years later she's finally realised that it's a personal confidence thing and had her teeth straightened. she was always a pretty girl but now that issue is gone, you can see she has a lot more confidence in herself because she knows people aren't focused on that.

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Re: "You used to be so pretty"

Just tell them that u're ageing with grace.. and still as pretty.

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Re: "You used to be so pretty"

I listen to "you used to be so cute" sometimes. From people who knew me as a child. I dont care. I cant wear two chotiyan in and frocks for the rest of my life now can I?

Also hareem, there are plenty of people out there who just talk. They just talk without having a real point. Ive seen you and you ARE very pretty Mashallah. You should ask these people what they're smoking instead?

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Re: "You used to be so pretty"

so trueee.

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Re: "You used to be so pretty"

I said this to my cousin... "you used to be so cute and sweet.. what happened?"

"Those days are over."

She was 6

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Re: "You used to be so pretty"

You could say, "Yes, well, I still have my good manners. What's your excuse?"

Or you could say, "I had to tone down my shan so that you would like the mirror better..."

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Re: "You used to be so pretty"


.

Thanks for your advice.... but seriously its one thing i don't want to do.. i don't know why i am so stubborn. If i ever have braces.. it would be after marriage at least not before wedding......My teeth are not that bad but i have lost weight a lot in last few years and that's why my teeth are more prominent now.

I always wonder why our out-looks are so important that you can't even survive if you are not pretty enough or according to other peoples standard.....?? it really irritates me...... but still i try to ignore all these comments.

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Re: "You used to be so pretty"

Tell them sternly that you do not appreciate their useless comparisons and to please cut them out. If they continue, give them a stern are-you-crazy? look.

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Re: "You used to be so pretty"

if you don't feel that you need braces to feel more confident then i don't see any reason why you should get them, as long as you're happy with what you have.
i imagine you are an adult so it's even harder to think about getting braces because then you have to wear them for such a long time, 1 and a half even 2 years...

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Re: "You used to be so pretty"

its their insecurity being around you that makes them say things like that,once you are happy in your life with your husband and kids,thats all that matters.

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Re: "You used to be so pretty"

You tell them "You used to have a brain..."

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Re: "You used to be so pretty"

My mom/relatives will sometimes say, "You used to be so cute"...referring to the way I looked as a kid. It's not the most offensive thing in the world...but the wording is that of a backhanded compliment. Also, in a way, I don't see the point of making such a comment....considering that "duh" as we all age we are not going to look as cute as were as infants or as fresh as we did in our teen years, lol. It seems sort of unnecessary. It is a compliment to how you looked in the past. I agree...not the best wording...so it's hard to determine the intentions. I say let this one go.

NOW...about your sister making the "housewife" comment....that was rather snotty. You should have told your sister (calmly) that there's no guarantee how things will turn out for your niece after marriage....that maybe she might end up being a housewife (even a temporary one) after having kids....perhaps her husband might even request it. In addition, you also should have told her that you don't mind helping to find her daugther a rishta....but you don't appreciate being insulted for your lifestyle. I don't think there's anything rude about that.

You can put them in their place with a sneaky comeback....but that's just going to fuel the negativity. I don't know why it's considered "disrespectful" in our culture to be direct and straightforward with your elders. A taiz comeback would be more "badtameez" I would think. You can call someone on their behavior in a calm way..tell them what you don't appreciate and how it makes you feel...it could take them by surprise even and possibly nip things in the bud. Anyhow, you have a loving husband and kids, don't dwell on them. Continue being happy....and show it....there's nothing that irks haters more. :)

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Re: “You used to be so pretty”

the reason I clicked on this thread

thread started by: hareem01
last post by: PyariCgudia

PCG, you disappointed me. I wanted to see some vicious cat-fight. :frowning:

:khumar: