You get married only once...

kaun · December 20, 2009, 4:16am

diwana:

I think there should not be any condition on the life partner. Step parent can be good. The spouse just have to make sure he/she re-marries the right one.....OR in some cases, the better one..J/K

There is jealousy, selfishness and there is a feeling that I am the better parent and no one else can be. There is a thought that 'my' belongings will be used by someone else!

If one loves his/her spouse then there should be a need for condition. But like Psyah said this is a positive trait as well, the person may like the idea of jealousy and being wanted.

Read this old joke! ** Would You Remarry? **

A husband and wife are sitting quietly in bed reading when the wife looks over at him and asks a bold question.

WIFE: "What would you do if I died? Would you get married again?"

HUSBAND: "Definitely not!"

WIFE: "Why not - don't you like being married?"

HUSBAND: "Of course I do."

WIFE: "Then why wouldn't you remarry?"

HUSBAND: "Okay, I'd get married again."

WIFE: "You would?" (with a hurtful look on her face).

HUSBAND: (makes audible groan).

WIFE: "Would you live in our house?"

HUSBAND: "Sure, it's a great house."

WIFE: "Would you sleep with her in our bed?"

HUSBAND: "Where else would we sleep?"

WIFE: "Would you let her drive my car?"

HUSBAND: "Probably, it is almost new."

WIFE: "Would you replace my pictures with hers?"

HUSBAND: "That would seem like the proper thing to do."

WIFE: "Would she use my golf clubs?"

HUSBAND: "No, she's left-handed."

:D

Mabrook · December 20, 2009, 4:40am

Re: You get married only once...

it's a very touchy topic esp for us ladies but i don't wanna control anything. Once i'm out of his life either by divorce or by death he has all the right to move on and so does I. but i'll for sure change my house and city. i'll go somewhere far. I think i won't remarry but who knows if i find a right partner i might change my mind.

As for kids even though we think we can't b replaced its not true. There are better ppl than us in world who can b better parents n partners then us. We should just pray that our kids should get best replacement to us. they don't grow up with single parent missing out all the opportunities of enjoying a blended family. i think phupo, dadi, nani, khala no one can take care of our kids for long as compared to a step mom who was already aware wat she's in their life for.

PS: i might trust a step mom but somehow i won't trust a step dad esp for my girls. some stories made me too scared of step dads.

kaun · December 20, 2009, 6:20am

belly dance music

it’s a very touchy topic esp for us ladies but i don’t wanna control anything. Once i’m out of his life either by divorce or by death he has all the right to move on and so does I. but i’ll for sure change my house and city. i’ll go somewhere far. I think i won’t remarry but who knows if i find a right partner i might change my mind.

As for kids even though we think we can’t b replaced its not true. There are better ppl than us in world who can b better parents n partners then us. We should just pray that our kids should get best replacement to us. they don’t grow up with single parent missing out all the opportunities of enjoying a blended family. i think phupo, dadi, nani, khala no one can take care of our kids for long as compared to a step mom who was already aware wat she’s in their life for.

PS: i might trust a step mom but somehow i won’t trust a step dad esp for my girls. some stories made me too scared of step dads.

whole heartedly and totally agree with you, chha gaye :k:

hareem01 · December 20, 2009, 8:58am

Re: You get married only once...

Thanks for the replies everyone.

It was interesting hearing different views.

Niksik

Be witness. :D

MixedBeauty · December 20, 2009, 2:57pm

No one wants that with sum 1 they love, Obviously. But when you've died you've died these worldy pleasures dont concern you anymore.

Deeba1234 · December 20, 2009, 3:11pm

**
What happens when those kids** grow up and leave the nest? I would want my other half to remarry if I died or we divorced, apart from younger kids needing a mother figure I would hate for him to have to go into old age without a partner, ppl have physical and emotional needs and I'd hate to deprive him of that..

A couple of my uncles and aunties have gotten divorced and remarried quite quickly (usually in the second year) and in march this year one of my aunties died at 31, leaving behind a little toddler, my uncle is too heartbroken to even consider remarrying right now but am sure he will do within the next 3/4 years, it's hard work bringing up a kid on your own (he's in the army so things are even more difficult in regards to him being around) and at some point of course he is prob going to feel he needs someone to be close to again..

MixedBeauty · December 20, 2009, 3:24pm

Re: You get married only once...

Hareem01

Jus bcoz you have children doesnt mean you cant get lonely.

Think about it! And i'm not talking about sex.

hareem01 · December 20, 2009, 5:35pm

Think about the hereafter.....if he marries again he'd probably be with his second wife in jannah.

paijee · December 20, 2009, 5:55pm

edited

paijee · December 20, 2009, 6:04pm

Re: You get married only once...

If (God forbid) something was to happen to my wife, I would remarry.

It would be to someone who was either divorced or widowed herself. The needs & expectations of widowers & divorcees are totally different to those who have never married before.

The more I read the views of this thread starter...the more likely it is your husband might just want to leave you if he gets spooked out by your views!

You seem way to insecure & paranoid!

hareem01 · December 20, 2009, 6:08pm

lolz.

buddy
you shouldn't be concerned with what my husband wants.

You would remarry, that's your choice. I'm not forcing YOU to stay unmarried, am I?

You would do lots of things that MY husband is unlikely to do, for example, you wouldn't wanna be with your wife when she's giving birth to your child as you mentioned in parenting forum.

MixedBeauty · December 20, 2009, 6:24pm

No darling, in the after life you wont even remember anyone on this earth, He will hav his 40 Hoors. And if you upset your husband in this life, Their one tear amounts to a river. And they will curse you.

MixedBeauty · December 20, 2009, 6:26pm

Re: You get married only once...

I dont get if YOUR dead, why wud u want ur husband to suffer on this earth? All by him self? he wont marry str8 away he obviously loves you. But seriously. Men can have 4wives even if his first one is ALIVE!! dont be selfish on this issue!

hareem01 · December 20, 2009, 6:30pm

Oh yes I will remember him and stay with him and visit my relatives and friends inshallah. :)
A jannati's wife will be 70 times more beautiful than a hoor...so he'll be still after me. All the good couples will be entered jannah together. A man who has two or more wives in this world will have the best woman out of them in jannah with him. I don't want a competition.

hareem01 · December 20, 2009, 6:36pm

Okay if he starts suffering he can marry when i die after my yougest one is 16.

Mabrook · December 20, 2009, 8:08pm

Re: You get married only once...

wat if Hareem ur kids once they r older start thinking u acted selfish by bounding their father not to remarry and suffer alone( coz he had promised and couldn't break it) and they had no new mom just like many othes around them. wouldn't this thought hurt u?
u know the world is changing n there r so many blended families out there that its nothing astonishing anymore.

hareem01 · December 20, 2009, 8:15pm

What if their step-mother turns out to be evil and make their life hell and then my kids start thinking that their mother didn't do enough to secure their future.

It's simply not for kids to decide about their parents' marriage.

Mabrook · December 20, 2009, 8:29pm

Re: You get married only once...

but kids always hav a say in this thing. do u know all ppl with kids little or older when re-marries they ask their kids opinions. they need to calm kids b4 they remarry coz it involves them too.
And wat if that step mother turns out to b really nice. we hav no guarantees in life, right?

When my dad passed away many yrs ago my mom was still very young. i was the first one to tell her" if in life u ever needed to re-marry i'll always be on ur side" and she was so mad at me" how can u even say or think this" i said" i don't mean u hav to but if u wish to it will be OK coz our father will still be in our memories and i don't wanna see u alone after we all move out" Then when someone taunted me "daikho tumhari maan kaisay bachon k asray pe pari hai" my heart went out and i cried to Allah and he just listened. Now my mom is re-married and we all r O.K with it. all siblings even our partners supported it.

MixedBeauty · December 20, 2009, 8:37pm

You cant say that, He will be with his Hoor's. I didnt kno that you wud be with your husband? i dont no is that true? I thought men jus get 40 Hoor's and you can never upset your husband bcoz they will curse you. I dunno i wudnt risk it i dnt wan 40 Hoor's cursing me....

If my husband wud want me in the after life he can do so If not then whatever. Why wud u worry about such things when your in HEAVEN? I wudnt care about anything if im in Heaven in the presence of Allah and our Beloved prophets. I really wudnt care if my husband wanted me or not tbh. What you feel here in this world, Is nothing to what the after-life is.

And why when your oldest is 16? Everyone needs that Motherly love.

MixedBeauty · December 20, 2009, 8:38pm

I've known step mothers that were more of a mother to a child, than their own mother. Your husband wud choose sum 1 suitable!