re: "You Can Do Whatever You Want After You're Married"
You have your parents mashallah. May god bless them with long lives. Statistically speaking, one pair of grand parents suffices.
re: "You Can Do Whatever You Want After You're Married"
well it depends on who you marry. Prior to marriage, I wasn't allowed to travel alone, and was always told as well "shaadi ke baad apnay husband ke saat ghoomna" but my ammi never stopped me from socializing or going out with my friends or taking day trips for rafting/hiking etc. I married by choice, so I guess that made it easier for me. He loves to travel as well, and we lived alone, not with his mom or family so we pretty much did and continue to do what we want, how we want. I can't remember a single time my mom ever interfered or told me what to do after shaadi. His mom also never really had an impact on our decisions.
Within our first 5 years of marriage we went to Pakistan 3 times to see his mom, and on the way of those trips would break our journeys in Paris, London, Frankfurt, Zurich & Geneva (wherever the flights were having stopovers) After kids, we took a trip to Spain, alone, just the two of us, and know we're planning a family vacay to Turkey.
He had taken guy trips alone without me and I have also taken girls only trips with my friends.
So yea, if you're going the arranged marriage, joint family living route, you may not have the same opportunities as you can take when you're single.
My college age single cousins and niece all have taken advantage of study abroad semesters while still in uni. I guess it all depends on the norms of your family.
Pretty much this.
By the time the idea of travelling with friends came into my brain - I was already hitched so it never became an issue as such because husband doesn't mind it. We've travelled a lot together, each with our friends or in groups and taken semesters or summer courses abroad due to studies and interests. All is well.
re: "You Can Do Whatever You Want After You're Married"
I would prefer for my kids to have grandparents. App ko koi takleef?
Yeah you got it now.
Desi Blonde
re: “You Can Do Whatever You Want After You’re Married”
Thick as thieves you and I are
re: "You Can Do Whatever You Want After You're Married"
My mom tells me this allll the time. Traveling? shaadi ke baad. Friends se milne jana after work? Never. Work se aake apne room main chale jana...bad habit. Abhi parents don't like. Shaadi ke baad, in laws won't like. Ghar main t shirt aur pj's pehenna? Nooo! Kitne sharam ki baat hai. Hum koi goray thori hain.
I tell my mom she is like my saas. Too many restrictions and aitraazat.
This! seriously! i've heard all of these lines..
i think the best advice is to live in the moment. you can never really plan the future and predict how things are going to be 5 years down the road living with someone you havent even met yet. so if you're 18-30 and single...live your life the way you want...make friends, socialize, travel, read, eat, work out, and study what you like (obviously i'm not advocating going wild and insane) but you can have plenty of fun while being responsible as well.
and hopefully once you meet someone and/or are arranged to be married with someone, you'll have common interests or at least will respect each other's wishes and desires and enjoy doing things together...but thats an ideal situation and life can get weird. so yeah, my advice to grls frm16 and onwards ...just live your life the way you want right now...instead of planning what you'll be doing with prince charming 5-6 years down the road.
"You Can Do Whatever You Want After Your Married"
Haha! Despite being married and living hours away, my mother still worries about my doings!
Susar ke samne theek se kapre pehnti ho na? Leggings to nae pehnti!??! Scarf leti ho na!!
Aaj kidher Gaye thi? Akele!! Husband ke saath kyun nahi? Did you mention to him you were going out?
Aaj aise kar lena kal waise!!
Ghar Saaf rakthi ho na?!! Har roz vacuum ya hover kiya Karo!!
Don't know abt others...but def changed for me. I never wore PJs etc at home cos my dad insists on shalwar kameez only at home. Now i lounge around my house in whatever lol...going out with friends and all hasn't changed much...mostly cos i'm too busy...but if i wanted to hang out with them it would be easy. Before marriage my mom always said, just invite them over to our house lol. My parents were super strict. After my nikkah i was finally able to go out with friends or my husband etc.
Idk why desi parents have this idea that agter marriage u can do whatever...i got lucky, my in-laws aren't here. If they were...i'm sure i wouodn't be able to do anything at all.
re: "You Can Do Whatever You Want After You're Married"
How I could write a thesis on this topic and still not have a conclusion.
re: "You Can Do Whatever You Want After You're Married"
I was never told that. My mother always said that I won't be able to live this carefree life once married. I love being married, no regrets. Alhamdulilah. Yes, sometimes it is overwhelming but again no regrets.
I was never told that. My mother always said that I won't be able to live this carefree life once married. I love being married, no regrets. Alhamdulilah. Yes, sometimes it is overwhelming but again no regrets.
This!
I think its an issue of semantics.
What they say;
You can do that after marriage
What you hear;
You WILL do that after marriage. Yakeen karo.
What they mean;
Get married already.
re: "You Can Do Whatever You Want After You're Married"
My mom tells me this allll the time. Traveling? shaadi ke baad. Friends se milne jana after work? Never. Work se aake apne room main chale jana...bad habit. Abhi parents don't like. Shaadi ke baad, in laws won't like. Ghar main t shirt aur pj's pehenna? Nooo! Kitne sharam ki baat hai. Hum koi goray thori hain.
I tell my mom she is like my saas. Too many restrictions and aitraazat.
You will NEVERRRRRRRRRRRRR sleep anywhere else the way you sleep at your parents' home before marriage madz...its literally jannat.
Not that there isn't a sense of sukoon anywhere else, there is. But there is a difference.
re: “You Can Do Whatever You Want After You’re Married”
Ok, I come from a fairly traditional/cultural family, but all you gals in the US/Canada who are not allowed to wear pj’s/tshirts/pants at home and only wear shalwar kameez…really?!? 
I’ve never seen or heard of that with any of my friends or within my family here :sid:
re: “You Can Do Whatever You Want After You’re Married”
I know it sounds so weird. I always wore normal nightsuits, tshirts and pjs.
Well I have brothers. Normal tshirts (without dupatta) accentuate body parts. Also normal tshirts or sleeping suits are waist length, right? So in my house that would be considered be ghairti ki inteha and my parents would ship me back to where I came from.
Also Can’t wear thin/semi-transparent shalwar kameez in summer without wearing a tank top underneath.
re: “You Can Do Whatever You Want After You’re Married”
You’re right, reha. Parents se barh kar hume kon bardasht karega aur kon itne nakhray dekhe ga. 
Re: "You Can Do Whatever You Want After Your Married"
How many people would have to hear this famous line from their parents when they were younger? For those who are now married, how true has it been? Did your parents stop giving you a hard time about doing things you wanted to after getting married? Do some still have to justify their decisions even after marriage? Maybe big decisions or small ones like what you wear etc.. I know some girls can really relate to this so wondering how its changed or are moms still telling us how/what to do in the same regard.
never. my mom always tell me that the freedom you have gotten here, you might or might not get it once you are married.
and she tells me not to try do the things just your way always (like you do it here) when you go to another house.
so she and my dad doesn't put any unnecessary restrictions on me.
i have a family living in my neighborhood, where they restrict their daughters on even minor things and tell them do this when you are married like wearing saris, applying mehndi on feet etc. and i always wonder how it would be like if they cant do this after marriage as well. then why parents develop these false hopes in the minds of their daughters i don't understand.
re: "You Can Do Whatever You Want After You're Married"
so as it is evident by few posts, that we have a bunch of strict parents around, my question is do strict parents also prove to be strict parents-in law to their DILs or things are different with regards to DILs.
re: "You Can Do Whatever You Want After You're Married"
Its part of the whole culture that works to make girls more marriage-minded.
Re: "You Can Do Whatever You Want After Your Married"
Haha! Despite being married and living hours away, my mother still worries about my doings!
Susar ke samne theek se kapre pehnti ho na?** Leggings to nae pehnti!?**?! Scarf leti ho na!!
Aaj kidher Gaye thi? Akele!! Husband ke saath kyun nahi? Did you mention to him you were going out?
Aaj aise kar lena kal waise!!
Ghar Saaf rakthi ho na?!! Har roz vacuum ya hover kiya Karo!!
I dont know about the rest but she's right about this one. Why would you wear those things in front of a man you dont intend to seduce?