"You Can Do Whatever You Want After You're Married"

Lifestyle Relationships
1

How many people would have to hear this famous line from their parents when they were younger? For those who are now married, how true has it been? Did your parents stop giving you a hard time about doing things you wanted to after getting married? Do some still have to justify their decisions even after marriage? Maybe big decisions or small ones like what you wear etc.. I know some girls can really relate to this so wondering how its changed or are moms still telling us how/what to do in the same regard.

2

re: "You Can Do Whatever You Want After You're Married"

Is this why people want to get married young??

3

re: "You Can Do Whatever You Want After You're Married"

The sentence is the biggest lie. :/

4

re: "You Can Do Whatever You Want After You're Married"

Urgh I was going to start a thread on this the other day.. When I was younger and wanted to go away with friends my mum often used to tell me 'when you're married you'll be able to travel as much as you like.' Looking around me at others who'd gotten married it was obvious to me that that was a load of rubbish.. Most who'd moved in with inlaws were lucky if they could even go away for a weekend let alone regularly on holidays.. Those who didn't live with inlaws were often bogged down with bills and other responsibilities.. I ignored her, booked the flights and went away anyway.. I figured if my brother was allowed then I should be as well.. Luckily my dad was supportive.. I'm so glad I did because I'm pretty sure if I'd left it I'd hardly have seen anything of the world by now..

5

re: "You Can Do Whatever You Want After You're Married"

Attagirl. You sure showed her.

hearmerawwwwr

6

re: "You Can Do Whatever You Want After You're Married"

itnee mirchain?

7

re: "You Can Do Whatever You Want After You're Married"

I hope it is true! I mean part of it should be right? Because once your married its you and your hubby who decide things as a team even if your parents give their input on certain decisions.

Once married as long as both can afford it and are sensible then why cant they go travel the world and what not? I mean we wait long enough to do all these things but are told "wait till your marries nadanadanada" so we should go for it.

8

My mom tells me this allll the time. Traveling? shaadi ke baad. Friends se milne jana after work? Never. Work se aake apne room main chale jana...bad habit. Abhi parents don't like. Shaadi ke baad, in laws won't like. Ghar main t shirt aur pj's pehenna? Nooo! Kitne sharam ki baat hai. Hum koi goray thori hain.

I tell my mom she is like my saas. Too many restrictions and aitraazat.

9

re: "You Can Do Whatever You Want After You're Married"

guys do everything they want before marraige & after marriage tooo ......

10

re: "You Can Do Whatever You Want After You're Married"

Does it get even slightly better after marriage? Or is that just hopeful wishing?

11

re: "You Can Do Whatever You Want After You're Married"


Madz, marry someone whose parents aren't alive. :)

12

re: "You Can Do Whatever You Want After You're Married"

No, not true at all. I do whatever the hell I want but I have to think about it a thousand times before doing it. That is not really freedom. It is things like "o sh*t, this is gonna cost a lot of money, nevermind!..o crap, I have this bill to pay and make sure we are all living comfortably."

13

Madz, marry someone whose parents aren’t alive. :slight_smile:
[/quote]

Allah na kare. Their love is more precious than my ego.

14

Does it get even slightly better after marriage? Or is that just hopeful wishing?
[/quote]

I dont think you establish your place in husband’s house until a few years after marriage. At that point, perhaps it does get easier.
Or if you get lucky, you end up with someone who likes the same things as you.

15

re: "You Can Do Whatever You Want After You're Married"

well it depends on who you marry. Prior to marriage, I wasn't allowed to travel alone, and was always told as well "shaadi ke baad apnay husband ke saat ghoomna" but my ammi never stopped me from socializing or going out with my friends or taking day trips for rafting/hiking etc. I married by choice, so I guess that made it easier for me. He loves to travel as well, and we lived alone, not with his mom or family so we pretty much did and continue to do what we want, how we want. I can't remember a single time my mom ever interfered or told me what to do after shaadi. His mom also never really had an impact on our decisions.

Within our first 5 years of marriage we went to Pakistan 3 times to see his mom, and on the way of those trips would break our journeys in Paris, London, Frankfurt, Zurich & Geneva (wherever the flights were having stopovers) After kids, we took a trip to Spain, alone, just the two of us, and know we're planning a family vacay to Turkey.

He had taken guy trips alone without me and I have also taken girls only trips with my friends.

So yea, if you're going the arranged marriage, joint family living route, you may not have the same opportunities as you can take when you're single.

My college age single cousins and niece all have taken advantage of study abroad semesters while still in uni. I guess it all depends on the norms of your family.

16

re: “You Can Do Whatever You Want After You’re Married”

I roam in my boxer at home… will keep same habit… :devil:

17

re: “You Can Do Whatever You Want After You’re Married”

You didn’t get it, did you?

18

re: “You Can Do Whatever You Want After You’re Married”

:rolleyes:

Still obsessed with me? Wherever on GS I post I can be sure you’re there to reply..

Another poster already pointed out your constant passive aggressive style and baiting.. You need help..

Back on ignore

19

re: "You Can Do Whatever You Want After You're Married"

Look at other girls around you who are married and see how much they're allowed to do.. Reality should be more convincing than just words..

Khatti's right when she says it prob depends on whether you go down the arranged marriage route, live with inlaws etc.

20

re: “You Can Do Whatever You Want After You’re Married”

I would prefer for my kids to have grandparents. App ko koi takleef?