"You Can Do Whatever You Want After You're Married"

[khattichic]

Re: "You Can Do Whatever You Want After Your Married&amp

@S_and_S

But this thread came about because I live in a different country now and I was telling my mom about a work trip I have coming up for a week. Don’t do much of these so her first thing was “are you going alone?!? Whose going with you?!? Where will you stay?! Oh my god alone in a hotel for a week?! Take husband with you!” … It’s like NO! Mom stop worrying! And no husband won’t be able to come with me! And no I can’t go and stay over at someone we knows house lol! And yes I have to go alone and work with co workers while Im there! Every time I am doing something alone even stepping out for groceries for god sakes, its like always “don’t go alone. Or do that, don’t wear that in front of so and so.. All over the phone.” My parents have grown a lot though, all of my aunts and uncles have with their Children so my younger set of cousins have it soooo much easier! Now when one of my younger cousins hears that line, “after shaadi,” it doesn’t work as well as it did with us because they have seen some of my cousins go through a really hard time. In the beginning my mom was also still telling me I couldn’t wear this or that in front of so and so but now she tells me to do whatever my husband says, as long as he’s okay with it. My husband never says no to anything I want to do/wear so in regards to what I’m wearing, even if she doesn’t like something she doesn’t say TO MUCH about it or I can just tell her to get over it and she does lol and I just remind her “you told me about shaadi ke bad.” And she can’t rebuttle lol. It didnt change right away but gradually over the four years of being married and seeing how my husband is, they now bounce off of him. Now I usually just hear “husband mind to nayi karega.”

Lol!

My Ammi was pretty laid back in that type scenario. I guess since she was a single mom for much of my upbringing (even when she and my papa were married, she was still the sole bread earner), so from an early age I saw and learned self sufficiency and independence. Shaadi ke baad, she didn’t nok chok about much except the usual..ghar ki organization and such

She and my husband were extremely close, the joke in the family was that he was the beta and I was the bahu lol. The only real time she would nag would be when she wanted me to stay over later than I planned or come spend the night…my husband I lived literally 4 miles away from her and still that was far to her lol.