Re: Yet another thread on whining women
I believe we learn MUCH from our mothers, BBQ. Intentionally or unintentionally. You are not living in the same age as your mom did. So maybe you will be tried more and you will deal with the situations as good as your mom did :k: 
Re: Yet another thread on whining women
I think if we can try to have half the patience of what our moms used to have, we would be so successful in our relationships. My mom was the only well educated DIL in her entire in-laws and she was expected to live and behave well with all the members. She had to move from a larger city to a smaller town. The new generation is not as patient and does not have as much tolerance as the previous generation and thats why we see increased rates of divorces among desis.
Re: Yet another thread on whining women
No..its because women nowadays are aware of their rightsâŚand they are able to get out of abusive relationshipsâŚstop equating patience with helplessnessâŚ
Re: Yet another thread on whining women
Yes we are more aware of our rights. But arenât we witnessing girls complaining here on small issues like MIL said something bad to her, husband not giving enough time etc. You may be right that our moms were more helpless and thus had to be patient when it comes to compromise in relationships. But they were better able in (or lets say forced to) managing relationships at the end. We are NOT as helpless as them, but should we also lose our patience on petty issues because we are educated and independent and can easily get out of a relationship?
I am all for coming out of abusive relationships. But I guess the definition of abuse has changed. If a MIL stops a DIL from doing something (like going out), shall we call it abuse?
You are right. We are more aware of our rights. But our patience level has also decreased. Its a combination which is affecting our relationships.
Re: Yet another thread on whining women
Ashi there is a sense in which they are right. Times have changed. If we try to bridge two different generations there will be clashes until both the parties learn to be flexible and moulding. There is no other way. No scope of one way anymore.
Re: Yet another thread on whining women
I'm gonna have to disagree. Just because times have changed doesn't mean we can't live peacefully or resolve our problems peacefully. If everyone does their job and knows their limits, then InshaAllah people can live happily even today.
Just because women know their rights now, doesn't mean that they should be too quick to jump on them and pack their bags and get out. Divorce is the last thing any couple should consider, as it's the most disliked of all the halal things in the sight of Allah.
The problem is not the abuse women face from husbands, in-laws, etc. But, rather the abusers. We're suppose to live happily with our wives, husbands and in-laws, and they're suppose to live happily with us.
If everyone was to make an effort to keep the relations healthy between themselves and others, there would be no chance for abuses. It's those wives, and in-laws that are really hell bent on taking revenge or something for the littlest things that create these problems.
I think everything starts with each and everyone of us and how we treat and deal with others.
Re: Yet another thread on whining women
**everyone **is the condition na! Like when everyone has changed, and a few sections persist to live in the previous centuries, who would you keep blaming and how long?
Re: Yet another thread on whining women
You are diving along on one way, the driver coming from the opposite side is totally drunk and collides his car against yours, yes you are to blame :k:
Re: Yet another thread on whining women
Jump out of the car or something. But, donât go head first into it.
Re: Yet another thread on whining women
^ oh my. You just said it all. Someone will have to jump, right? and take the medical help. And maybe call the police as well. :hinna:
What I meant is: patience and tolerance are the beauty of a womanâs character. But enough with the one way theory. I think it is time we should realize that as human beings we all are equal and deserve equal rights and privileges. Is that too much or unfair?
Re: Yet another thread on whining women
Because after a while of taking abuse or being in an unhappy or toxic relationship, the person feels they are better off without that person. They donât worry about the future as much (âoh what will my next husband/MIL be like?â etc) because theyâre just focused on moving on with their lives after separating/divorcing.
Kabhi kabhi tum sahi baat kartay ho.
Re: Yet another thread on whining women
By jump I meant avoid the crash. 
I shouldâve said swerve your car or something. =/
Itâs only one way because itâs easier to change ourselves than others. InshaAllah if you deal justly and kindly yourself with other, then theyâll have that affect on themselves, too, and who knows they might change for the better.
Re: Yet another thread on whining women
But women nowadays also have a very short fuse........... any teeny weeny little thing goes against their will.......they term it as oppression.....and BANG!!! its time to stand up for yourself and get divorced.......such kind of attitude is to be condemned equally.
Re: Yet another thread on whining women
But women nowadays also have a very short fuse........... any teeny weeny little thing goes against their will.......they term it as oppression.....and BANG!!! its time to stand up for yourself and get divorced.......such kind of attitude is to be condemned equally.
Thats what I meant. Do you think this is ONLY because women are now better aware of their rights OR because they are more independent OR because they lack patience?
I think its all three.
Re: Yet another thread on whining women
why every second woman in your opinion stands up for divorce 
too much of generalization is bad.
Re: Yet another thread on whining women
why every second woman
not my words....
Re: Yet another thread on whining women
I know! Donât you wish it was the good old days back when women knew their place? And knew that they shouldnât speak out against abuse? 
Re: Yet another thread on whining women
Did i say speaking against abuse, in actual sense of the word, was wrong?? Its the excessive use of this analogy that i am criticizingâŚnothing wrong with speaking out against legitimate grievancesâŚ
but mehâŚwho am i kiddingâŚ
Re: Yet another thread on whining women
I'm sure guys can still find women who are patient and home-oriented. Just gotta look at the right places.
City girls are more likely to be more "free," but then again it depends on the tarbiyat.
Re: Yet another thread on whining women
alright, then every second post of yours. :k: