Yes. Lately what I have seen particularly on GS and L1 is women whining everywhere. It be DILs, friends, wifes and etc. Our lot is quite unhappy with their work as well. This rising dissatisfaction we all have (excuse me for generalization, Im adding myself here too) makes me draw a comparison with the previous generation of women who were a jeeta jaagta mujassima of sabar and persistence. And since we are their products, why are we so reactionary? We complain sometimes of the behaviour or SILs, tyranny of MILs, indifferences of husbands and all that. We being women are an important and organic part of the society. If we are so sour, where are we heading then? Plus, we didnt learn much from the positivity and forbearance of our mothers, and the way we are, what are we going to give away to our children? How do we imagine our next generation to be like? Are we justified in complaining against every problem we confront in life or are there concrete reasons that cause our disturbance and need to be solved. Do we need to look into our selves (very very maturely, and collectively) or is it that everything around us that needs to be ractified?
This is necessary because our counter parts (the men) like always, are positive and practical, and this is really not fair we women lie the burden of each unhappiness of ours on them. We know that we have this source in our life to turn to when we need them, but are we performing our responsibilities of being good listeners and a supporting shoulder that well too? Time for a quick self study and consensus here.
Lets talk about it so that we can pave some way for correction and positivity.
Hmmm...well, men have problems, too. They're not that positive and practical.
But, I guess, it depends on each individual. If a person has a short fuse, they'll go berserk over little thing, even if it was something that could've been resolved without much drama.
Or some woman are blessed to have a very nice, caring, understanding, in-laws, so they don't have these problems.
What women can do is, like you said, be a mujasma of patience. Try to avoid arguing, fights, as much as possible, even to the extent when you are in the right and they're the ones who are wrong.
Another thing is to be tact. Get your message across, without being overly insulting. That always works.
Wellsaid KaafHaa. This point**** mujassima of sabr**** bothers me anyways. But well our previous generation was like that. So why cant we be. Or atleast less reactionary, more tactful and logical.
I also observe that we women are now losing patience and tolerance on many issues mostly relationship issues. We are not willing to work towards saving the relationship but would rather go for divorces immediately. Where have all the patience and tolerance gone from us? There are so many problems faced by people in the world, hunger, lack of education, diseases... but we are stuck in MIL, SIL issues and these are the problems of our lifetime. We get depressed over these issues, we spend hours whining and crying, we make the lives of our husbands hell. There are so many girls in Pakistan who are unable to get married because of lack of good rishtas or because of their poor economic conditions and some of the married women can't stop complaining about their married lives (although they have good husbands and are blessed with children).
We should also think about the positives and blessings in our life and stop complaining by remembering the issues and problems faced by others around us. We will better be able to thank Allah Swt for all of his blessings.
I also observe that we women are now losing patience and tolerance on many issues mostly relationship issues. We are not willing to work towards saving the relationship but would rather go for divorces immediately. Where have all the patience and tolerance gone from us? There are so many problems faced by people in the world, hunger, lack of education, diseases... but we are stuck in MIL, SIL issues and these are the problems of our lifetime. We get depressed over these issues, we spend hours whining and crying, we make the lives of our husbands hell. There are so many girls in Pakistan who are unable to get married because of lack of good rishtas or because of their poor economic conditions and some of the married women can't stop complaining about their married lives (although they have good husbands and are blessed with children).
We should also think about the positives and blessings in our life and stop complaining by remembering the issues and problems faced by others around us. We will better be able to thank Allah Swt for all of his blessings.
I totally agree, i was really surprised in my thread recently when many guppans were telling me to end things with my man when that wasn't even an issue, arguing is also part of a relationship, i know i made a mistake by talking about my "problem" here when all i wanted to know is whether someone has experienced the same thing, but it doesn't mean i was making a big deal out of it, i wan't expecting to have so many comments to leave the man.. you just have to have patience and keep yourself busy,
I totally agree, i was really surprised in my thread recently when many guppans were telling me to end things with my man when that wasn't even an issue, arguing is also part of a relationship, i know i made a mistake by talking about my "problem" here when all i wanted to know is whether someone has experienced the same thing, but it doesn't mean i was making a big deal out of it, i wan't expecting to have so many comments to leave the man.. you just have to have patience and keep yourself busy,
"khaali dimagh sheytan ka ghar hota hai"
I know yaar. Ending relationships is not something very eastern. Its the western thing (in my view only, many people may not agree with me). But relationships need patience and tolerance. You just can't decide on leaving a person or a relationship over small issues (the definition of small or big varies from person to person). Going through broken relationships is a tough experience and thus these decisions should be done after analysing the situation well and knowing what you will be going through after breaking off any relationship.
How can you be so sure that your next man will be better than this one and your new MIL will be better than your current one?
Every relationship deserves a second chance because if we had given them first chance, there was something in the person and he/ she definitely is worth another chance (if there is no infidelity and physical abuse issues which definitely should not be tolerated).
Cinnamon, please dont suspect the intentions of even a single poster here. I see no reason why should anyone advise you to leave the man or end the relationship out rightedly. Maybe the people who advised you so had some other scenario in mind. Sometimes a third person can analyze a situation better. Not that people here are sadists and revel at destroying the family life of fellow posters. Its just that we all have bitter experiences in our lives and when someone shares their problems here, we wish they wouldnt go through the same disaster others do. When we come here to share our problems, and ofcourse they are shared, we should be positive regarding the responses too. Not everyone would come up and say what we might want to hear.
Its less about solving the problems of the poster and more about pseudo-analysis with a hundred “may be’s”… putting the spin on the OP’s circumstances and then rant/preach their own view of how things work…and more so on how thing “should” work… the evidence of that is…when the OP is gone after first post…and others keep going on and on and on the OP’s problem is lost somewhere in the middle…
Cinnamon, please dont suspect the intentions of even a single poster here. I see no reason why should anyone advise you to leave the man or end the relationship out rightedly. Maybe the people who advised you so had some other scenario in mind. Sometimes a third person can analyze a situation better. Not that people here are sadists and revel at destroying the family life of fellow posters. Its just that we all have bitter experiences in our lives and when someone shares their problems here, we wish they wouldnt go through the same disaster others do. When we come here to share our problems, and ofcourse they are shared, we should be positive regarding the responses too. Not everyone would come up and say what we might want to hear.
No worries, i get what you mean, that's not what i meant to say, i meant that i regretted it in the sense that i obviously didn't want to go into details about my situation because it really was not a big deal, and i understand why people would have a more negative point of view, but like Ashy2010 says, everyone deserves a second chance and i would feel horrible if i had to advise someone to end their relationship, unless it's a very extreme situation.
like always, are positive and practical, and this is really not fair we women lie the burden of each unhappiness of ours on them. We know that we have this source in our life to turn to when we need them, but are we performing our responsibilities of being good listeners and a supporting shoulder that well too? Time for a quick self study and consensus here.
@ Unos.
thats such a weird thing if u imagine 
