tell me something guys …isnt this ur responsibilty that if u love a gal and wants to marry her,that you should stand like a brick wall in front of your parents and give her respect,aur the family should have respect her.
otherwise why you marry in such hard situation ,where ur parents are dhookhi and the wife is also.i have seen so many cases now a days jiss nai muhjai soochanai pai majboor kar diya hai and let me say in the end that i always find men at fault.its not i am against men:@: its just that your are the strong personalities and the foundation of the family…familes ur kids depends on you so you have to be strong.
and one more thing when a guys marries apni pasand ki larki,why dont the parents blame their son.why the gal is always at fault:smack:
Re: yai thread unn kai liyai jinno nai love marrieges ki hain.
It is girls responsibility also to make sure that she is marrying a real man, a guy who is rock sold on his footing .
If you marry a mama's boy or a chicken that is what is going to happen. Love is blind, yes, but it should not be so blind that rest of your life becomes a constant struggle to prove yourself. Constant battle to win the hearts and minds of in laws. Constant heartache. You can see all those symptoms in a mama's boy in the early stages of your love affair.
Learn to identify that guy and you will save yourself lot of heartache.
Re: yai thread unn kai liyai jinno nai love marrieges ki hain.
Mirch you’re right about that. And for the most part there are no troubles. The girl and guy have to work together to avoid unnecessay conflicts and misunderstandings but yeah, you do hear some things once in a while…but not just from the boys side. You’ll be surprised to hear comments from the girl’s side as well
It is girls responsibility also to make sure that she is marrying a real man, a guy who is rock sold on his footing .
If you marry a mama's boy or a chicken that is what is going to happen.
how much time a girl has to decide that, before making the decsion of marrying that guy.
how much time a girl has to decide that, before making the decsion of marrying that guy.
Love in desi situation is never so fast that everything happens in very short period of time.
There are many books on the subject of identifying a mama's boy. Most of it is not relevant to desi set up but it can still provide some pointers.
Re: yai thread unn kai liyai jinno nai love marrieges ki hain.
No, you don't. If you are not willing to protect the girl from your parent's anger and frustration, then you have absolutely no business putting her in that situation in the first place.
Re: yai thread unn kai liyai jinno nai love marrieges ki hain.
Yeah, those guys who fall in love at the drop of a hat and then don't have the pair to tell their parents what they want aren't men, they are little baby boys and they make me really mad. So many of our desi bachas have left a trail of devastated women behind them because they are cowards.
I can say the above because I'm awesome and I did the exact opposite, I DID stand in front of my parents like a brick wall and I DID marry who I wanted to marry, yes, things were awkward between me and my parents for a year or so, but that was almost ten years ago and today they love my wife like their own daughter. So all you kaka bachas, remember, if you are stupid enough to fall in love, please have the decency to follow through.
No, you don't. If you are not willing to protect the girl from your parent's anger and frustration, then you have absolutely no business putting her in that situation in the first place.
Would she not know in advance that there is lot of resistance from his parents , so she should weigh her options before accepting that marriage proposal ?
Either she should be confident that she can win their hearts or she should be prepared to deal with that situation in many different ways. One of them would be to make sure that he provides a separate residence for her away from all this chikh chikh and buk buk , before saying yes.
Desi families are more intertwined to ignore this important factor and just take a plunge.
I think that it is the non-desi girls and the girls who are 2nd or 3rd generation who are the most shocked by these situations. I have warned my oldest daughter about trusting the words of hormonal men in general, and desi men in particular, as she gets older. If a man is genuine his parents will contact us to support his proposal. If not, I would prefer she not be in the situation that I was in for so many years.
In my experience in a town with a large MSA, the muslim girls who are not desi never realized that parents would expect them to live together, and the boys never bothered to mention it in several cases.
I think that it is the non-desi girls and the girls who are 2nd or 3rd generation who are the most shocked by these situations. I have warned my oldest daughter about trusting the words of hormonal men in general, and desi men in particular, as she gets older. If a man is genuine his parents will contact us to support his proposal. If not, I would prefer she not be in the situation that I was in for so many years.
In my experience in a town with a large MSA, the muslim girls who are not desi never realized that parents would expect them to live together, and the boys never bothered to mention it in several cases.
This is the way to go.
When I fell in love with my wife and proposed to her parents, they asked me to ask my elders to go to their house with the proposal. They wanted to make sure that I am not putting their daughter in a difficult situation where I am all in love but my elders do not approve of this union.
hi
mai nay love marriage ki hai aur mery miyan pyar karty hain mujhy magar mery susral walo ka behavie itna khara b hai kah mai nay khwab mai bhi imagine nahi kia tha kah itne bayizati sehnai pary g aur still wahan hi rehna hoga aur saab say bara masla hai mery miyan ghar walo ko nahi chor sakty (kah log kia kahain gay) aur mai miyan ko nahi chor sakti (coz i still love him)
Yeah this aunty was telling me about her masoom son who got trapped by his wife and that she still traps him on a daily basis. Finally, I asked her if her son had no personality of his own…that how come a fully grown man allows his wife to trap him…maybe he loves being trapped or he’s not grown up yet. So she shut up at that point. I also asked her what she was doing during his childhood years… teaching him how to be a sissy poochu paala paala sa nanha munna? She’s never spoken to me again.
