X-husband Dilemma

[Sandninjer]

Re: X-husband Dilemma

@Reha

Right. So what is the conclusion here?

We don’t like the ex-husband. He SHOULD not have permission to see his daughter because of his past issues and he might still be in that mindset.

But he still has rights. Maybe not just rights. But they’re still there…whether we like them or not.

Every situation is different and that is why people go to court, because otherwise every case would be cut and dry. If it were me and I had even an ounce of suspicion that the ex would be abusive, I’d have him cut off from the child. But she didn’t do that. We don’t know why…all we know is she didn’t She is still allowing him to see his child.

Who is the parent? Who is responsible for making sure her daughter is safe?

If someone is hurting you, they’re wrong to hurt you. But if you stand there and take it even though you can walk away…who’s really at fault then? I don’t understand how **useful **it is to put blame on someone who is obviously a bad person…and then do nothing about it.

On this note, did KK say if there was a legal custody battle or not? Because if there wasn’t, then that changes the perspective here. But regardless, I find you’re placing far too much of an emphasis on the legal aspect here. Just because something is legal doesn’t by default make it morally right. It’s never that black and white. If the husband has a good reason to be worried about the ex (in which from what little info we’ve been given by the OP, I agree with the husband), then I wouldn’t want the ex near my house either. The wife should also take her ex to court if she feels it’s a risk letting her child see her father. I agree that a man who abuses his wife is more than likely to also abuse his children, and I also agree that the wife is at fault under this scenario.

Also, your home is a very private and sacred place. No one would want strangers just coming in and out - so then why should we allow people we don’t like into our homes? Rather, shouldn’t we attempt to conceal our address from people we’re unsure of?

None of us know enough to come to a real, solid conclusion here given what little information the OP, KK, has provided us, but under these circumstances where we virtually no details, you give the defendant the benefit of the doubt. In this case, KK’s post is accusing the husband of being morally out of line. So in that regard, I find Zafra’s posts more relatable (is that even a word?) to my views.

It’s not that I disagree with everything you’ve said, I don’t, you’ve made some good points, but there’s still a concise enough line between the two debating sides in this thread that I can choose a side.

Of course, this is just my perspective.

*Edit - Forgot to mention a few posts ago that when my sister divorced, it wasn’t until many years later that she won the legal battle to have her ex stay away from her and her daughter permanently, but even within that time frame, she never allowed him to see her. Granted, in this case, my sister actually stepped up unlike what the wife appears to not have done (just going off what KK said).