So you would rather hear that we would readily accept a girl we mean it or not, in that case fine this is an online forum and if girls want to hear this then yeah i will marry a girl who has been raped :k:
SHAK i totally agree with you, but what ppl dont understand is that its easier said then done :k:
Re: would you?
No i want the truth and the truth is what your giving me but it doesn't mean its right. And it doesn't mean that im condemning you either for your thoughts, so calm down. Im just genuinely worried at our society and the lack of understanding....
Re: would you?
Why is it easier said then done ?
What are your specific reasons, to not marry such girls?
** would love bullet points:)**
why not..ager dimaaghi ta'wazun theek hai then i wont have any issue:@:.
.it wasnt her fault..:o..
Re: would you?
Ok so let me add another issue... A girl in the same situation may find it hard to tell her husband to be about the experience because
1) If its through the arranged route she may find it hard to confess to a guy who she doesn't feel so emotionally comfortable with.. I mean its such a sensitive topic.. When would be the right time?
2) Or like i said in a previous thread, i know someone who was sexually abused at the age of 6... because of her being so young she cant remember how far he went with her.. So HOW can she tell her future husband that she doesn't know whether she's a virgin or not, If she tell's him she might not be, he could say goodbye to her right there.. BUT then she could avoid such drama by not telling him because she still might be a virgin
awww :k:
how old are u.. just out of interest 
Why is it easier said then done ?
What are your specific reasons, to not marry such girls?
** would love bullet points:)**
okay, the reason i said that is there are multiple reasons, a rape victim generally does not only have a "broken hymen" but she is scarred mentally and physically, on top of that she has already suffered at the hands of her family members and once she does marry into ( for arguments sake) my family everyone who finds out will come and question that and come up with accusations and she has to re live it over and over and over again. I would like to protect her as her man as much as i can but what i have seen is that these girls generally live in depression for a long time and when i marry a girl atleast the first 2-3 yrs i wanna live a happy married life. Now you call me selfish or someone who doesnt wanna take responsibility, well that is true and that makes me shallow and i know that.
okay, the reason i said that is there are multiple reasons, a rape victim generally does not only have a "broken hymen" but she is scarred mentally and physically, on top of that she has already suffered at the hands of her family members and once she does marry into ( for arguments sake) my family everyone who finds out will come and question that and come up with accusations and she has to re live it over and over and over again. I would like to protect her as her man as much as i can but what i have seen is that these girls generally live in depression for a long time and when i marry a girl atleast the first 2-3 yrs i wanna live a happy married life. Now you call me selfish or someone who doesnt wanna take responsibility, well that is true and that makes me shallow and i know that.
Nothing a loving and understanding husband cant help her over come.. What if she is mentally stable (most are you know) would you still not marry her?
Do you have to shout it on roof top's to your whole khandaan? Last time i checked a marriage is made up of you and her...
No, none of what you've mentioned. At the end of the day its your choice. I just wanted to know how many guys would accept such a situation, how many guys would want to do a naiki (good deed) for a woman who is helpless infront of desi culture
Re: would you?
People think twice about marrying such girls. If some do, they do out of publicity etc. Look at Mukhataran Maii.
*No i don't find it selfish, i find it appalling. Your and many other men's reasons for not marrying women based on their place in society because they were victims of rape is about 2 steps higher then the mentality people hold in Indian and pakistani villages, of never giving those women the chance to get married. *
Re: would you?
p.s can you imagine what these men would have to say, if women had the same reason (society pressure, recovery level, ect..) for not marrying a man who was a victum of rape 
Lady Lama if you see all my posts i did not say i wont, however i did say i will have hesitations given as per the mentioned issues, if the girls is mentally strong and is now stable hell yeah i would.
NOW coming to you second point, well this is where ppl get it wrong, i used to think the same way where marriage is between 2 ppl only but my lady that is untrue, even these married gorays deny that, marriage is a union of 2 families and the rest of the society judges on that and once ppl start finding things out in any what way they spread these news cuz there are ppl ready to make others look bad, sadly this is an unfortunate truth.
Lastly it depends on my situation at that point, as to how much i am willing to fight for this girl cuz no family accepts a RAPED, DIVORCED OR GIRL WITH A PAST, you have to fight for that and i have to be convinced cuz shaadi is not a joke where i will do this good deed now and then leave her if it turns out to be a mistake, this way i ruined the girls life twice :k:
*No i don't find it selfish, i find it appalling. Your and many other men's reasons for not marrying women based on their place in society because they were victims of rape is about 2 steps higher then the mentality people hold in Indian and pakistani villages, of never giving those women the chance to get married. *
wow !!
Re: would you?
Why are you saying wow? ^
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Kaun-im sure you're a nice guy and all, but im just pointing out the mantality level of our modernized society by using ur post, as i knew those were gonna be the reasons.
Ok i totally agree with the marriage is a union of two families… i say that my self BUT a husband and wife hold each others secrets… If i was in the stated situation, I wouldn’t expect him to blab how i am am in bed so i dont expect him to tell his whole khandaan that i was raped. The fact that society is out to make others look bad is so true THAT is why you shud help your wife and keep her secrets behind closed doors!
If my brother brought home a girl that was raped, i can imagine him telling my parents and my dad would be extremely proud of him. And that would be the end of it. NOBODY else will need to know.. Why would your aunties/ uncles need their noses to be invited into the most delicate of situations of your home?
Also, if you decide to stay married to her and it does go sour and you divorce, she isn’t expected to answer to anyone about not being a virgin anymore so she wouldn’t have to tell her 2nd husband shud she get married again. So in reality i dont think your ruining her life again, your giving her a fresh start… providing that you dont tell your khandaan that she is a rape victim
GAIA i am not claiming to be a nice guy, but i pointed out my apprehensions, yaar its a life long decision and many questions arise when anyone hears these. To be honest a lot of guy right now would say “I WOULD WITHOUT A PROBLEM” but trust me if a situation arises its not just YES or NO, there are a lot of background things you have to consider. Cuz in the end a person marrys not just for the sake of it but to be happy, and all i am saying is i cannot say YES because i would wanna sort things out and get an answer for my apprehensions :k:
Okay, i agree with you on the part where there are things tht ought to remain between a couple and couple only, but a thing like RAPE well at any pointa time someone finds out, some how cuz trust me nothing stays hidden for long, then it becomes a huge issue for the girl, as i said before as well the answer is not just a plain yes or no, you have to discuss this and obviously bring it to your parents attention and once you know what happens if a mom throws a tantrum.
Khair i wish that everyone has parents like yours but the majority thinks otherwise :k:
Men will say exactly what women are saying and women will say exactly as men are saying. I am again saying its easier said than done.
Just few months back … a guy was abducted from Karachi restaurant and was raped by 4 girls over and over again ..so much that he has to get hospitalized for days to recover and guess what? 90% of the females just did not believe it…flatly denied!! let alone marrying him.
I don’t want to turn this serious thread into guy vs girl thread but be it guy or girl, to go ahead with this type of marriage; it will depend on many parameters. It’s easy to say now but complex where rubber meets the road.
cmon …now stone me to death
Re: would you?
^ =O =O
decet chora i feel so sorry for the guy.. I think its harder for men to deal with rape then women coz society is harder on men for being raped
society is a b*tch