would you?

Lifestyle Relationships
1

Inspired by the other thread.. How many of you guys would marry a girl who’s been raped or sexually abused?

How would your families react if they found out?

How would you feel and would you hold it against her?

What if… you married her and realised she wasn’t a virgin then she tell’s you about her past.. Would you believe her? Or would you become suspicious about her past even though she comes from a decent family and sound background?

Discuss =)

2

Re: would you?

that will be a tough one for guys...

3

Re: would you?

A girl who is raped or sexually abused , is a victim in most cases , therefore one shouldnt shy away from marrying them ...

However , when there is a genuine case like this , its best that the girl informs her future life partner of what happened in the past. To avoid any complications later on ... I am purely saying this after knowing of more then one case where , asian girl, was raped ... recovered fully and at the time of the rishta didnt tell the guy of the unfortunate incident. Because she was tired of being rejected for no fault of hers.

The husband eventually did find out and wouldnt believe her ... when eventually he believed her , he didnt believe she was a victim and treated her like dirt and eventually divorced her.

She got married again a few years back, this time she told the guy only, not his family of the rape and the first marriage and why the divorce happened. The guy was a good soul, he not only accepted the girl whole heartedly but also protects her against any nasty aunties who try to hurt her in anyway about her past.

4

Re: would you?

^ That is quite sad.... I felt the pain :(

Stupid loser first husband

See if she hadn't received so many rejections she wouldn't of been forced to lie... Alhamdulilah she's happy now

5

Re: would you?

I can give all "oh I'll because its a forced thing" speech but it will really will come to the last moment and depends on many things including the state of mind. Its not as black and white as you have put it here.

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Re: would you?

there are good people arouund but not every one is lucky of finding nice partner after leting knowing of all this ......so if any one is raped aur sexually abused if its hidden by Allah i think itns not necessary to reopen it bcoz no one will ever understand and its her deed which she has to be answerable to Allah.

7

huh?? sbeek inglish bleez

Is this true?
8

Re: would you?

Decent, thats true , but please bear in mind , it may be the hardest thing for a woman to recover from rape , but the journey becomes alot more easier when she finds a loving life partner whome she feels secure with.

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??

10

I meant i didn't understand what you wrote in red!

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I was just saying that as of right now its hard to tell what will I do. It will depends on lots of things then.

For the sake of posting on GS I can say " yes sure I'll marry her..blan blan blan" but in reality, it will come down to the situation and my state of mind at the time of decision.

Lets put it this way, I think I SHOULD do it but I am not sure what will I do

12

Re: would you?

Well, this is a very difficult question, As if i really like the girl ( and i am talking about myself only) if i really liked her i to be honest wont care as long as she told me before, cuz i dont believe in the fact that the girl has to be a virgin to be my wife and i am being really serious here, So as long as its out in the open i wouldnt have a problem, but if it is an arranged marriage where i am being asked to marry this girl with a past i will have my hesitations. Khair these are my 2 cents :k:

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Re: would you?

I think only a real man can marry a girl with such a past.

14

Re: would you?

A question to men , who might hesitate marrying a girl who was a rape victim:

Is there no difference between a girl who committed adultary hence lost her virginity and a girl who lost her virginity due to beinga victim of rape? :ASA:

15

a huge difference, yet for some reason in our society a girl with a past ( as in boyfriend and pre marital sex ) is readily accepted more than a rape victim, but we are a hypocrite race :D, but in my opinion yes there is a huge difference but then again just like girls have fantasies and dreams a guy does too. Morally speaking i should have no hesitations but honestly speaking i will have hesitations and if that makes me any less of a man then so be it :k: .

16

ohh yeah a question to all you ladies, it has become common ever since ppl have started coming out of the closet where MEN are getting raped as well or are ayyash, would you marry a man who has been raped in the past.

17

Re: would you?

Erm , i think theres a difference between a man being raped and being an ayyash … if he is a victim of rape for no fault of his , then yes , there should be no discrimination against him, I would marry him … but if he is an ayyash , i would slap him silly:snooty:

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Re: would you?

If he wasn't a wimp then yes I would... But i can only imagine a scrawny little man with no jaan in him in that position, because a woman generally doesn't have the strength to overpower a man... Unless you would like to prove to me otherwise with some interesting articles :)

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Re: would you?

So far we’ve had 2 guys comment and to be honest im really worried by your responses :hinna:

Dont you understand the physical, emotional and social trauma a girl undergoes when she has been physically abused.. On top of that the worry of becoming a cultural taboo, a let down to her family and the possibility of tanay she may have to hear (depending on people around her) and then she has to deal with the possibility of her husband not believing her…

I can only pray that allah keep’s the daughters of our families safe and away from such dirty men who put them through disgusting experiences

20

Re: would you?

i guess, that this girl be far better than those ones who have fooled around and the pretended to be all pak saf. so I wouldnt have problem if we both liked each other.