keep contacting an old friend to ask how she is doing even when she hardly replies and even she does, she takes ages to write a short text message…?
I have spent a very long time now to ‘save’ our friendship but it feels like she isnt bothered. I told her that I am ill and had been so for a long time, and there was no response regarding my health. I keep asking her how things are at her end, how her family is doing and how life is..but she hardly replies any of the questions and talks about how busy she is with work and studies.
I know that work and studies can be tough but even the prime minister would be able to take time out for his personal contacts.
I know her and know that she behaves like that to avoid ppl she doesnt want to talk to. She has told this me herself when she was trying to get rid of some ppl we both know…
So I have this strong feeling that she doesnt want to meet me or talk to me, not even on phone/mail/MSN…
I dont know what I have done wrong..I have tried to save this friendship for many years now and shown great understanding for her issues and so on, but it is really tiring to be dragging it this way…
Sometimes I do feel offended that she doesnt even reply my messages..she didnt even reply when I told her that a sibling got married out of country. I think one should congratulate a friend for such a happy event in her family but there is nothing but a cold shoulder for her..
would you keep contacting such a ‘friend’? - mind it that it is the same friend I have posted earlier on as well…
Ok, don't say goodbye... I am also a bit lazy at replying and sometimes I just can't but that doesn't mean I don't want to stay friends. I think maybe you should talk to your friends and tell her that you don't like the fact that she disappears all of a sudden or something like. Anyway just breaking old friendship is not a wise thing, talk to her and see what she is up to...
i dont mean to sound rude but why do you care so much? it may very well be that your friend is going through a rough time in her life and sometimes its hard to trust others even 'friends' and tell them personal things. i bet you when shes doing better in her life that she will contact you herself and everything will be okay. old friendships go through stages like this and it does not mean that you have to break your friendship. just give her some time and space maybe she really is going through rough patch so instead of getting annoyed you should try to be understanding like a good friend should be.
I am worried about her cuz she has been trough a difficult time long time ago but cant let go of it
I want to be there for her if she is having a difficult time now
I miss her
I want to talk to her
And no its not cuz I dont have other friends. I just happen to value my friendships and dont want to break them cuz someone isnt replying.
Its just that I have been giving her the benefit of doubt for very very long time and its quiet tiring when u deep down in ur heart know that this is the way she behaves with ppl she doesnt wanna talk to.....
I find that quite admiring that you value your friendship so much, you don't get many people like that in todays world. Anyways why don't you try giving her a ring and may be try to ask whats wrong. I am sure somethings going on in her life. Anyways don't listen to others and break your friendhip, these people don't value friendship I think. I think highly of my friends and value my frienship.
Well, my best friend of idk like 6 years moved away like 4 years ago, I email him every now and again or sent him an im, but he deleted his account, and didn't bother to send me his new email or screen name, i say **** that stupid mother****er, if i dont mean ne thing to him, than theres no reason for me to try to keep in touch.
I've been in a similar situation with one friend of mine. We were really good friends and then we transferred to different schools which were in neighboring towns. I kept in touch with her and it was basically always I who would call her and catch up. And it was not like i was calling her everyday or anything. Obviously we r all very busy with school. Eventually she just stopped answering my calls and never bothered to call back. I called a few times and then I just gave up. You can't b friends with someone like that. No matter how much you have been through with them or how many difficulties they have had in their life, doesnt mean that they value your friendship as much as you value theirs.
My friend contacted me months after I stopped contacting her but it's just not the same. Just a comment here and there on myspace and that's it. And well it's her loss cuz not to be snobby or anything but I'm a great friend. lol.
I would say just stop contacting her. She either doesnt care about how much u care for her or she's just going through one of those phases where you just can't talk to anyone especially the people closest to you.
i have (had) such a friend too..and i know how you feel about it.. the difference is that the one i am talking about has no contacts with any of the friends in the group and everyone had the same complaint from her. she is so proud of being academically brilliant and this pride has brought rudeness and mean-ness in her attitude..no one talks to her anymore !
i guess you should give your friend some space and wait to see if she feels that you are not texting/contacting her anymore !
I was going through the same thing with my best friend. I thought she did not need me and well everything you wrote applied to me too. She did not reply to my smss, emails, etc. People messaged to her about my accident recently, telling her i am in the hospital and in bad shape and as you are Aisha's best friend it would be nice to go meet her. No response. I got dishearted and did not message her for 5 days. When once i called her a ***** and other words infront of my other friends and stuff she got to know about it. Next day she came to me in uni and asked me why i did it. I told her that i sent you all those messages and stuff and you never replied.
You know what she said? She said i am sorry i was in Oman and there was reception problems and i tried sending replies but it never worked! And there was no internet so i did not check msn and facebook! As for your accident i am really sorry, if i was in Dubai i would have definitely come and seen you.... and so on she kept on going and on....
I STARTED TO FEEL SOOOO DAMN GUILTY!!! I DIDNT TRUST HER! MAINE SHAKKK KIYA!!!
I started crying and she hugged me and she is like its alright, now the misunderstandings are cleared. She is such an amazing girl that she gave me such nice bday presents yesterday for my bday!!! she celebrated my bday with me 2 times! she arranged a party for me in uni! she got two cakes for me!
The point i am making is never say good bye and give up... just send her casual hello hys and wait for her.. i am not sure in your case your friend might actually want to break up with you and move on but its not always the case! :) There can be other reasons too for a person becoming soooo busy that they cut off from their friends and the world.. Even i became sooo busy recently and stopped coming on GS and FB and hardly saw my friends or replied to their messages.. Does this mean i dont want to be friend's with them anymore? Nope :) ...
Just give it some time and hope it works out for you :)
I have spoken to her about how long time has passed since we met/talked properly but therer just hasnt been any response from her!
I have been thinking about it for long time now and it just feels like that I am trying to revive something that already might be dead....
I remember her behaviour during my engagement and wedding period. She was very cold and negative. and I gave the beenfit of doubt thinking that she is still depressed of some previous personal problems.
And she keeps talking negative about girls wearing hijaab when I m sitting in front of her with hijaab!!!
I also remember how she misused my name to get in touch with a guy, she had a crush on!but she would never ever help me finding out anyting about a guy I had a crush on - just an example of our relationship actually!
Then I remember how she was so angry at her school friend and told me that she had cut off all contact with her while she was telling me all details of her private life making me feel so sick and later she arranged a dholki for the same person - which made me wonder why she was so passive at my wedding but suddenly had the energy to arrange a dholki for a person who she didnt even seem to like!
Once a very special thing happened to me and she knew of it. She called me like a month later and says *oh, I called X (the same girl she arranged dholki for) in Pakistan (she was there for her wedding shopping I guess) and there was some credits left so I thought to call u and congratulate u" - making me think that I am just some secondary person to her....
After that I still tried to meet her everytime I went to visit my parents town but she always excused saying too much work to do. Once she even made an excuse that was obvious to anyone!!
Now I am going to my parents place for Eid. And I actually dont feel like asking her to meet me and perhaps again get to know that she doesnt have time for me. But I must admit tht despite whatever has happened I still do miss her and am genuinely worried about her!