would you share everything incl ur money with hubby?

Re: would you share everything incl ur money with hubby?

hubs works n i work too but its always been our money and our house or watever ur in the early stages of marriage so u have a lot to learn yet, but my personal opinion is tht to its a little wrong to think tht 'ITS MY STUFF WHY SHUD I SHARE' thing, at the end of the day its going to b u n ur children tht are going to benefit frm it, think it over
i myself was used to having everything fr myself n now i gt hubs n i have to share it was hard at frst but im kool now :)

PCG, your reply truly humbled me. I do not think I'm wiser than anyone here, I think I am more blessed and lucky to have found such a gem of a man. I thank God/Allah every day for all that I have in my life and while it can be pretty easy to take it all for granted, I do realize that my situation is lovely and not the norm for many.

The rest of what you said...is heartbreaking and the reason that I'm such a fan of "Three cups of Tea" and any efforts made to educate girls in Pak/afghanistan. Empowerment is vital and it begins with education. Nothing will change overnight but by taking positive steps in the right direction is a good start. When a woman knows that she will be able to provide salary enough to feed, clothe and house herself then she is a force to be reckoned with.

In the meantime, if a gal is in a situaion where inheritance from her own family is all she has to rely upon then she should hang onto it for dear life.

Re: would you share everything incl ur money with hubby?

Think about it. Yes, whatever we get is ours but then again, like everyone has been saying after marriage its team work. :)

Re: would you share everything incl ur money with hubby?

Don't know about it - but does a guy ever put his wife's name on his gifted property?

I doubt it. He would only add you on his main dwelling property as a co-owner.

Re: would you share everything incl ur money with hubby?

^heh. sad that people think this way.

my dad put just as much in my mum's name as his own; additional properties and whatnot. if he dies first it all goes to her. if she dies, it goes to us kids.

if we keep saying 'men wouldn't do this or that' then it can only become true.

Re: would you share everything incl ur money with hubby?

we, too own everything jointly - land, bank accounts, debts. Anything else just seems so odd to me. But then, inheritance laws, customs and practices are different here in US than they are in Pak I think.

:cb: I have no experience… so maybe I shouldn’t be talkin… :hehe:

it was just an extremely “bored mind suggestion” :frowning:

whaaaat? most pakistani girls who get married don’t have an education?? no job experience?? basically you are implying her jahez is her lifeline which will keep her afloat in marriage?! this alone tells me you are not married yourself, you have such warped views on marriage and men…STD’s, abuse, cheating all common?! where are you living woman? seriously, please do not misguide girls here who are discussing real issues with your horrific assumptions. the thread opener is talking about buying property in the UK where all local laws will apply, she is not some jahil in some gaoon. what are you going on about? :confused:

to answer the thread opener’s q, i would say talk out all your apprehensions that you have outlined here with your hubby. weigh all the pros and cons together, you are in it together now so all decisions have to be made mutually. some very good advice in here by some experienced married ladies. good luck.

My dad had every single account, property, etc. joint with my mother, even though she never contributed a penny. He did this so that when the day came when he passed away, my mom would not have any hassles or problems which happens in cases where it is in one individual's name only. He started this and carried on this mentality from the day they got married.

I don't think this has anything to do with being desi or non-desi. This just goes to how you are raised and your mentality.

Re: would you share everything incl ur money with hubby?

Whatever is yours is mine and whatever mine is mine?

^ me like that :hmmm:

Re: would you share everything incl ur money with hubby?

^ lol

It is a fallacy to believe that most pakistanis live like the defense folks.

Yes. It is why Islam still appeals to me.

And where do YOU live?

it’s pretty obvious and well known, women tend to be abused or at least not treated fairly still in many instances in Pakistan.

If it doesnt happen in your family or social circle, God bless you and Mashallah.

Is that it? :-)

By the way I was talking about the attitude here.

Yes, she is not obliged or should be forced to share 'her' wealth on husband and children since it is considered 'the' responsibility of husband in Islam,

but

If she does on her will, then this is fine. Why would she not? was my question in essence.

Now, if I write pure and essential husband obligations, then you may not like it. All I would say, women expect everything from men including lavish lifestyle and extra expenses but when it comes to their share, they bring islam conveniently. :-)

It will be very surprising for many if they search what are NOT obligations of husband. Things which men do for women anyway.

I live in the US where I do not see women in the Pakistani community being 'commonly' abused, given STD'S or cheated on, thats where I am coming from so yes I am blessed. Now I would like to know where you guys are living and seeing these things 'commonly' commited? the OP is from UK so pakistan is out of the equation here, lets bring in some objectivity and not start calling every pakistani girl a hapless idiot with no education, waiting to be victimized.

Just because you don't see it doesn't mean it doesn't happen.
If you'd like to discuss this further, we can split the posts into a new thread, since any more discussion will take this thread off topic......

Re: would you share everything incl ur money with hubby?

guys want to share everything too... including frustration and diseases :P

Re: would you share everything incl ur money with hubby?

I think I’m really old school of thought :hmmm: oops.