Re: would you share everything incl ur money with hubby?
Very true PCG.
Re: would you share everything incl ur money with hubby?
Just for the sole fact that it was my father's earning and not my husbands or even my own, i'd have reservations about giving it up. to ANYBODY.
Re: would you share everything incl ur money with hubby?
The reason why she is uncomfortable with it is because she thinks it's "my land given to me, so its mine, not urs to do anything with`, i dnt know why, i cant share, or feel like its all mine, why shud he ask" and that's why i called this 'pathetic attitude'. You know why? Because, she feels it's hers and in my eyes, as Mamoaf said, after marriage it doesnt remain 'mine' or 'yours', it becomes 'ours'.
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I've seen a lot of cases of boys running off with their wife's wealth, or irresponibly investing it and losing it. Then the girls cry that they lost wealth that their FATHER earned, not their husband
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You seem to have seen a hell of lot cases. Just because some men do it doesn't mean her hubby has the same intentions. As she said above, "now this idea is coming from the husband, who is a decent guy so pls no money grabbing stories here". Surely she knows more about him than you do, right ? Read first before you start your bakwaas.
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It really surprises me that Pakistani men will grow 10 foot beards, but think nothing of taking away their wife's Islamic right, and in fact, throw accusations at girls who stand up for these Islamic rights
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Well, your attitude towards Pakistani Men is rather more surprising.
Re: would you share everything incl ur money with hubby?
Her reason for feeling uncomfortable is totally valid, and even Islam recognizes it. So why can't you come to terms with that? I warn her of land grabbing and that sort of thing, because even if for now she believes it may not happen, it might still happen down the road. I don't know how well she knows her husband, if this is a new marriage, etc.
I know of cases where things like that have happened some years down the line, and no one expected it because the guy was so religious and imandaar, etc. All beards and religion for show, and inside, people get greedy and do stupid things.
At the end of the day, protect yourself. Or don't protect yourself, take a risk - maybe things will turn out ok (mashallah) or they won't, in which case, please don't come onto GS and start crying about it.
Re: would you share everything incl ur money with hubby?
She asked us for our opininos or what we think she should do. She didn't ask us to judge her hubby, did she? She said, "now this idea is coming from the husband, who is a decent guy so pls no money grabbing stories here", read it once again to get it in your head. She, at no point, asked you or anyone else to judge her hubby, which you clearly did.
As i said, just because you have heard of some werid stories does not mean her hubby will be the same. She knows him better than us, she is not a 10 yr old kid, is she?
And as far Islam is concerned, just because the wife have the right to keep it doesn't mean she should. Her hubby is in trouble and he needs her help. In my opinion, she should think of a way to help him and not say things like "it's mine, not yours" etc.
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All beards and religion for show, and inside, people get greedy and do stupid things.
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Again, what does this comment suggest? Its only people like you who are insecure & shaaki. Thank's God not all women thinks like you do.
Re: would you share everything incl ur money with hubby?
And as far Islam is concerned, just because the wife have the right to keep it doesn't mean she should.
Whaaaaaa?
Discussion ends here. Dude, you need to get your priorities in order.
Her husband is in no trouble at all.
ill share my hubby but not my money.
omg!! rotfl!!
I'm just the opposite, I'll share my money but not my hubby! :)
Re: would you share everything incl ur money with hubby?
You obviously don’t get it. Islam gave the right, meaning a woman has the right not to give it. But that doesnt mean she should’nt. Afterall, she reserve the right to say yes or no, right?
That’s what i meant. All i said is, her hubby needs her help and that she should find a way to help him. This problem can easily be sorted out without bringing Islam into it, because afterall it’s the woman who will make the decision not Islam.
Her husband is in no trouble at all
Again, you didnt read the first post, did you**? **If he was not in trouble then why the hell would he ask his wife? 
Re: would you share everything incl ur money with hubby?
IMHO, if you have some land (all paid off) in Pakistan you should keep it, not sell it off to make a down payment on your home that you will finance with a mortgage.... bad bad idea. Start saving up and go buy a small house in UK after a couple of years, start planning for a family then too..... that would be the way to go (thats what we did). Its always good to have some nest egg/investment to fall back on, in case of tough times. My husband actually wants to invest in land back home even though we live here and are planning on settling here permanently.
God forbid, if your husband loses his job or something and you guys default on the loan payments, you will be left with nothing. I would keep the land, just in case..... for future.
Re: would you share everything incl ur money with hubby?
at the end of the day its your thing and your call, however if you trust your hubby (which i doubt otherwise you would not open this thread) and you think that by selling this land you and your hubby can improve your life and it would benefit you than i would suggest might as well.
He’s not in any financial trouble. He’s simply thinking ahead for the future, and asking his wife for her land to use it for securing their future. She didn’t indicate they’re in any danger financially right now, or that he’s unable to earn and purchase real estate on his own.
a true New Yorker! Gotta watch out for yourself for that rainy day 
Re: would you share everything incl ur money with hubby?
Sorry if I sound weird but I personally believe that a man should not even think of scrounging of his wife. Please take a look at my thread in Life1 called Greedy inlaws.
If you use your land to buy the house please make sure you hold the property as tenants in common so on the death of one partner the prop will NOT goto the other. It will go to whoever you state in your will. The right of survivorship will Not apply. Hence, your partner may not be able to get the house 
Is he the type who’s always demanding? or the greedy type? If yes, then I suggest you go as tenants in common
I’m joking by the way 
Re: would you share everything incl ur money with hubby?
hey....speaking of hubbies and money and sharing....why not start a rent-a-hubby movement? This could really catch on and provide for all of those lovely extras....
I think everyone is going offtopic. It wasn't a trust/cheating issue the thread starter wanted to get opinon about. All she askes was is it okay for a husband to ask for wife's money for investment. She didn't mention once that the husband is bad or they have a rocky marriage.
PCG I am sure you are very young to understand the harsh reality of life that's why you think everything is going to go the way a girl wants it. Sometimes it doesn't and sometimes a girl has to do as much as the guy does for her. It should be even. Once you get married, you'll understand that.
I don't have anything that my parents gave me except few gold sets, clothes.. etc. I got married... my husband made me primary account holder in his account. Sole beneficiary of his life insurance.. everything. Guys aren't always bad. I think you've seen some really bad exmaples in your life. Women should be wise and educated to know where their money is going but to simply refuse helping your husband financially is not a good idea.
Re: would you share everything incl ur money with hubby?
^ i agree. everyone needs to stop squabbling..its not going to help her and she will just discredit your opinions
I think everyone is going offtopic. It wasn't a trust/cheating issue the thread starter wanted to get opinon about. All she askes was is it okay for a husband to ask for wife's money for investment. She didn't mention once that the husband is bad or they have a rocky marriage.
PCG I am sure you are very young to understand the harsh reality of life that's why you think everything is going to go the way a girl wants it. Sometimes it doesn't and sometimes a girl has to do as much as the guy does for her. It should be even. Once you get married, you'll understand that. I don't have anything that my parents gave me except few gold sets, clothes.. etc. I got married... my husband made me primary account holder in his account. Sole beneficiary of his life insurance.. everything. Guys aren't always bad. I think you've seen some really bad exmaples in your life. Women should be wise and educated to know where their money is going but to simply refuse helping your husband financially is not a good idea.
I'm not saying to simply refuse to help your hubby financially, and yes there are couples who struggle financially. But even if you as a man are struggling financially, it is pretty low to ask your wife to fork over her inheritance. This happens in desi families frequently, so people don't think ill of it, but it is pretty strictly prohibited in Islam to leech off your wife.
Like I said, if she VOLUNTEERED to give it, its different. She doesn't seem like she is remotely willing to volunteer.
Furthermore, she does not indicate her family is in any danger financially. This guy is thinking for the long run. In which case, why not just work hard, set aside money, and eventually buy a place down the line? Or work hard to set up some house on her land and put her name on ALL THAT, and tell her, look, its all for you so that if I die, you have a place to live.
None of that is actually happening. He wants her land to build THEIR home. That's HIS responsibility, and they're newly married, so it shouldn't be rocket science to consider the possibility of working hard, putting money aside, and buying a place with husband's money down the line.
A man invests in his family with his hard work and toil and his protection
A woman invests in her family by producing and rearing children.
That alone is more than what the man can counter with his work and money. So, no he does not have a right to ask her for anything.
Bachay bhi woh paida karay. Bachay bhi woh sambhalay. Jaiz be woh laaye. Aur ghar ka land bhi dey?
Puh-lease, people. Men in our community need to do better with assuming responsibility over their families, and our constant "oh well the poor husband, help him out" attitude only encourages desi boys to be more lazy.
Re: would you share everything incl ur money with hubby?
It's true that in Islam a husband has no right over his wife's money but Islam also allows a man to marry a woman for her wealth and status.
I believe in keeping dunya in your hand not in your heart so I'd give my money to my husband or to my brother if they need it.
hey....speaking of hubbies and money and sharing....why not start a rent-a-hubby movement? This could really catch on and provide for all of those lovely extras....
Your husband is a smart hard-working man, and I bet he didn't start of the marriage with asking you to fork over your inheritance. In american culture, inheritance has its place. But in Pakistani culture, a woman's inheritance is ALL she usually has to fall back on. With all due respect, you were a successful exec before marriage, so if things were to fall apart or you lose your husband, YOU can survive.
Most of these Pakistani girls who get married, don't have much of an education, and most certainly do not have job experience earning six figure salaries like you did. So her little piece of land means A LOT to her. Not only that, but desi families living abroad have had to deal with a lot of crap. So that piece of land that her FATHER saved up for and bought and gave to her probably has some significant sentimental value as well.
So, forking over your inheritance as a Pakistani woman, is a big deal. Girls grapple with it all the time, and eventually give in to the pressures of their inlaws, because they'd rather not fight and break their marriages. What happens is that a subset of THAT population ends up losing their inheritance due to irresponsible management by the husband who demanded it in the first place.
You may have security in your husband because he's no an idiot. But I'm telling you, Verizon uncle is a different breed of man. Most Pakistani men are not like your husband, and we desi girls know a good desi man when we see him. Verizon is RARE.
So, I know you probably think you're more wiser than the rest of us, but we girls know what's in store for us, and most of it is sheer crap. Our petty inheritances are all we have to secure us in case our husbands cheat on us (common), pass on STD's to us (common), take on extra wives (not common, but definitely happens), beat us (more common that I thought), abuse us emotionally (very common), or his parents/siblings give us hell (common).
Re: would you share everything incl ur money with hubby?
Men should be financially secure or atleast be able to support themselves before they go down the route of marriage, although that is not the topic of this discussion. The guy needs to get off his ass and put in double shifts no matter how long it takes to get to where he wants to be.