Who was born out of a wedlock?
Re: Would you marry someone
Why would that even be an issue? His/her birth and the circumstances in which he/she was born doesn't define who he/she is as a person. What a sad world we live in that we judge people even before they are born. -___-
Re: Would you marry someone
ideally it should not matter but as you say we live in a sad world, it does to some people hence the question.
Re: Would you marry someone
depends on how the person is raised. has good values been taught to the person by his parents ?
i know a relative who had a child out of wedlock. though he was already engaged, he took responsability of his mistake her married the mother of his child against his parents wish. 25 years later, this man regrets 2 mistakes now. his wife ,from a very strict muslim family, never understood the gravity of their mistake years ago and has raised her children to be indifferent to having living in relationships. the daughters smoke, have bf at home for sleep over and the dad is gone mentally ill.
moral of the story: it depends who the parents are.
Re: Would you marry someone
It is the responsibility of everyone not to divulge such information. However, it is nearly always required that such a person must be pious and well known to be pious before considering marriage with him/her.
People born within wedlock must not be **impious **to qualify for marriage, but being pious is a bonus, if you wish that.
Lineage is of secondary importance to piety, so if piety is not there and the person is considered like an average person in religion and known to be conceived out of wedlock, then it is not advisable to marry such a person.
If the legal lineage is not known or hidden then they are taken on their merit.
Re: Would you marry someone
Its not the person's fault how and when they were born. Its their parents fault for not confirming to the religious or moral dictates. But that fault should not affect the life of the child. Even though a stigma remains, unfortunately.
Like the above poster said, look at this person's parents and the type of upbringing they have provided. Like you would with all other rishta prospects as well.
Re: Would you marry someone
It is the responsibility of everyone not to divulge such information. However, it is nearly always required that such a person must be pious and well known to be pious before considering marriage with him/her.
People born within wedlock must not be **impious **to qualify for marriage, but being pious is a bonus, if you wish that.
*Lineage is of secondary importance to piety, so if piety is not there and the person is considered like an average person in religion and known to be conceived out of wedlock, then it is not advisable to marry such a person. * If the legal lineage is not known or hidden then they are taken on their merit.
the bold part above: so if you have two persons. both just average in religion. one is born out of wedlock while other is not. so you advise not to marry the one born out of wedlock?
Re: Would you marry someone
I think this is where Merit comes in to play 
Re: Would you marry someone
ideally it should not matter but as you say we live in a sad world, it does to some people hence the question.
why are you looking for sad people?
Re: Would you marry someone
I do believe I would look at who raised the person regardless of the circumstances of their birth. Parents might not be the ultimate indicator of how a person is but at times it gives you a good insight. If it's flippant thing for the parents then it might also be a non-issue for the person as well and I think we can all agree surprise stds are not fun.
Re: Would you marry someone
hmm if in a society where the child of divorced parents is seen in a bad way, what hope is there for out of wedlock childreN?
Re: Would you marry someone
hmm if in a society where the child of divorced parents is seen in a bad way, what hope is there for out of wedlock childreN?
Lol, haina? So, true. It will be a greater challenge.
Guftan asaan ast, kardan mushkil.
Re: Would you marry someone
What now? Who has STDs? the parent or the child?
How are you to assume that a child has an STD bc they were born out of wedlock? 
Re: Would you marry someone
I think what he meant was not only confined to STDs. To me it seems what he is trying to say is that if the parents are flippant about it and so is the guy…assuming he’s also flippant about premarital sex…then it’s not unreasonable to say that you have to tread with greater caution especially if this comes into conflict with your own moral belief system. Let’s say he doesn’t have STDs, and it’s very possible he may not have it, you’d have to ask yourself if you’re emotionally/mentally comfortable with his former relationship history and if he can handle a marriage. Now, this is not to say that those who have prior history cannot be faithful spouses. They can be dedicated spouses, however if their former history reflects infidelity or even consistent recklessness…it’s natural to be more concerned and hesitant. And to be honest, if a guy…even a Desi Muslim guy…who was not born out of wedlock and is a legitimate child of his parents…had a flippant attitude about his past relationships, I’d be concerned.
Re: Would you marry someone
the bold part above: so if you have two persons. both just average in religion. one is born out of wedlock while other is not. so you advise not to marry the one born out of wedlock?
How would you find out that one of them is born out of wedlock? Unless they are not careful enough to hide that fact ... If they were equal in piety, equal in looks, equal in earning power then they would still be unequal in lineage ... So it makes sense to go for the one who is overall greater ... But if the person was the only choice, the only rishta at the time and you found out he was illegitimately conceived ... then the other facts being high are that much more important, but the highest will be his piety even averaging in that on first appearance might not be a risk worth taking.
Re: Would you marry someone
In terms of lineage they say that it is better to find people who are similar in lineage ... So if the couple are both like this, conceived out of wedlock, then that might be best as well ...
Re: Would you marry someone
why are you looking for sad people?
To make them happy
Re: Would you marry someone
This whole idea that lineage (or 'khoon') has something to do with the worth of a person is source of so much hypocrisy and tragedy in our culture. I personally know a lady in Pak who had the misfortune of being born out of wedlock. She was adopted and raised by a decent and pious couple who were related to the birth mother. However, the truth of her origin was common knowledge in the extended family and community. From a very young age she had to defend herself from people of 'good lineage' making passes at her - 'Jaisi maan thi vaisee baiti ho gee' was the refrain thrown at her constantly. Arranged marriage was out of the question. Fortunately, she ended up in a love marriage with a person who accepted her with full knowledge of her background.
Re: Would you marry someone
This whole idea that lineage (or 'khoon') has something to do with the worth of a person is source of so much hypocrisy and tragedy in our culture. I personally know a lady in Pak who had the misfortune of being born out of wedlock. She was adopted and raised by a decent and pious couple who were related to the birth mother. However, the truth of her origin was common knowledge in the extended family and community. From a very young age she had to defend herself from people of 'good lineage' making passes at her - 'Jaisi maan thi vaisee baiti ho gee' was the refrain thrown at her constantly. Arranged marriage was out of the question. Fortunately, she ended up in a love marriage with a person who accepted her with full knowledge of her background.
Couldn't have said it better! My cousin was adopted and was born out of wedlock. She faced a lot of problems due to it. My own uncles and aunts taunted her for it as if it was her fault. Her parents protected her like hawks. She knew it from the very beginning but I doubt it hurt her any less.
Re: Would you marry someone
That is why it is necessary to hide this as much as possible ...
but purity of lineage is a reality ... It is readily recognised that a noble lineage of pious people would be righteous and ensure their offspring are equally so ...
If a person conceived out of wedlock and born was raised by noble foster parents then that should be the factor people consider, but if there was a choice I would still choose a person conceived in wedlock ... Apart from other factors ... Such as piety and beauty.