Re: Would you marry someone
Wow, now people are even beginning to scrutinise and judge people based on things that the beyond their control. It really is no wonder that so many women have trouble finding a spouse.
Re: Would you marry someone
Wow, now people are even beginning to scrutinise and judge people based on things that the beyond their control. It really is no wonder that so many women have trouble finding a spouse.
No one is beginning to do that ... It was always the case that people looked at family.
Re: Would you marry someone
No one is beginning to do that ... It was always the case that people looked at family.
Looking at family background and rejecting someone for it are two different things.
Re: Would you marry someone
Looking at family background and rejecting someone for it are two different things.
In order to reject or accept someone for their family one has to look at family first ... One precedes the other ... There would be no point in looking at family if it was not a decision factor.
Re: Would you marry someone
What do the circumstances of one's birth have anything to do with being a potential for marriage?
In my eyes rejecting someone on the basis of whether their parents were married or not is the same as rejecting someone on the basis of whether their mother is a divorcee or not.
Re: Would you marry someone
In order to reject or accept someone for their family one has to look at family first ... One precedes the other ... There would be no point in looking at family if it was not a decision factor.
One could look at family and then the potential rishta and realize family background rarely matters especially if you have known the rishta prospect for some time. Now of course, it matters if the rishta is for a girl and the girl is expected to live with the family. Even then, it makes no sense to look at how one was born.
Re: Would you marry someone
No one is beginning to do that ... It was always the case that people looked at family.
Yes, but in recent times, it has become acceptable to be extremely intrusive (and I mean MI-5/FBI level intrusive), which is what I find disgustingly inappropriate. I've even heard someone on here state, in a thread about divorcees a while back, that they would even check court divorce records if a potential prospect was previously divorced/had divorces in their immediate family and several people agreed with them.
Re: Would you marry someone
What do the circumstances of one's birth have anything to do with being a potential for marriage?
In my eyes rejecting someone on the basis of whether their parents were married or not is the same as rejecting someone on the basis of whether their mother is a divorcee or not.
Unless you know the individual very well ... A method of gauging the likelihood of their character being a certain way is to look at the holistic nurturing environment ... It is not a hard and fast method ... But it is a valid one and many people here judge others in similar ways without even realising it.
The alternative is to get to know the individual as much as possible whilst staying within ones bounds. I'm just being honest ... Most people here will not seek out a person born out of wedlock to marry just like most people will not seek out a poor person to marry, unless they are rich and are doing it out of a sense of charity.
Re: Would you marry someone
Yes, but in recent times, it has become acceptable to be extremely intrusive (and I mean MI-5/FBI level intrusive), which is what I find disgustingly inappropriate. I've even heard someone on here state, in a thread about divorcees a while back, that they would even check court divorce records if a potential prospect was previously divorced/had divorces in their immediate family and several people agreed with them.
You see in such cases it is better for a man to marry a disadvantaged woman to alter her destiny ... Whether she has problems with lineage, money, looks, etc ... He has the ability to change her path ... But he needs to be all that that the woman is lacking ... Marriage for that purpose is good ... Divorce can be a huge issue for the one who gets divorced ... To remarry ... But if it was instigated by that person then it is only natural for the one thinking of marriage to ponder over the risk of being number 2 or number 3 in the divorce list ... Each time it gets easier for the instigator to instigate. Unless of course there were valid reasons which can only be found out by getting to know the family well.
Re: Would you marry someone
why not? naa_jaaiz bachche nahiiN hote, naa_jaaiz to maaN baap hote haiN jinhoN ne unko janam diyaa. is meN us laRkii kaa kia qusoor? i will marry for sure but i will not have anything to do with her parents.
Re: Would you marry someone
Unless you know the individual very well ... A method of gauging the likelihood of their character being a certain way is to look at the holistic nurturing environment ... It is not a hard and fast method ... But it is a valid one and many people here judge others in similar ways without even realising it.
The alternative is to get to know the individual as much as possible whilst staying within ones bounds. I'm just being honest ... Most people here will not seek out a person born out of wedlock to marry just like most people will not seek out a poor person to marry, unless they are rich and are doing it out of a sense of charity.
What? How do you know most won't? What's the person's fault if their parents didn't marry?
Re: Would you marry someone
why not? naa_jaaiz bachche nahiiN hote, naa_jaaiz to maaN baap hote haiN jinhoN ne unko janam diyaa. is meN us laRkii kaa kia qusoor? i will marry for sure but i will not have anything to do with her parents.
KKF bhai
I challenge you to marry a girl who was born out of wedlock for her sake. Talk is cheap.
Re: Would you marry someone
What? How do you know most won't? What's the person's fault if their parents didn't marry?
There is no fault in the person for their parents lack of marriage ... But how will that person view premarital sex being raised by such parents ... If they willingly did the act, knowingly had the baby and brought it up in a society where he or she would be known as being illegitimate? What sort of upbringing would it make a person who may not know that girl very well think? And that is all they have to go by when deciding for marriage ...
My better judgement tells me that people will not seek them out ... Unless you are going to prove me wrong ...
Re: Would you marry someone
You see in such cases it is better for a man to marry a disadvantaged woman to alter her destiny ... Whether she has problems with lineage, money, looks, etc ... He has the ability to change her path ... But he needs to be all that that the woman is lacking ... Marriage for that purpose is good ... Divorce can be a huge issue for the one who gets divorced ... To remarry ... But if it was instigated by that person then it is only natural for the one thinking of marriage to ponder over the risk of being number 2 or number 3 in the divorce list ... Each time it gets easier for the instigator to instigate. Unless of course there were valid reasons which can only be found out by getting to know the family well.
Yes, but one can ask these things from the person and their family themselves. If one feels that the person and their family would not be honest about the reasons for the divorce and does not trust them, then, quite frankly, they should not be considering that person for marriage.
Re: Would you marry someone
KKF bhai
I challenge you to marry a girl who was born out of wedlock for her sake. Talk is cheap.
bro, you can't decide on my behalf. i KNOW what i said...you make that kinda statement because you don't know me personally. right? :)
a child born out of wedlock is NOT illegitimate...illegitimate are the parents who sinned. the child was born innocent like any other child. why anyone would deny the child his/her right to lead a normal and respectable life?
that child has every right in the world to enjoy life given by God, not his/her parents.
Re: Would you marry someone
There is no fault in the person for their parents lack of marriage ... But how will that person view premarital sex being raised by such parents ... If they willingly did the act, knowingly had the baby and brought it up in a society where he or she would be known as being illegitimate? What sort of upbringing would it make a person who may not know that girl very well think? And that is all they have to go by when deciding for marriage ...
So a person who's parents weren't married will grow up up to have no values? I can't believe you said that.
Lets see, a person who's parents were divorced will turn out to be a bad spouse. Or a person who's parents cheated during their marriage will turn out to be a cheater.
But we know that's not true. To think people place more value on a person's parents' marital status than the person's character herself is mind-boggling.
Re: Would you marry someone
bro, you can't decide on my behalf. i KNOW what i said...you make that kinda statement because you don't know me personally. right? :)
Peace bro
Look the question is would we marry someone who was conceived out of wedlock ... Even I would say yes ... But that is a pointless response .... Because we always look for the best ... And you know as well as me that high lineage is a factor for marriage ... If there were special circumstances where I was in that situation where I knew such a person and I felt she was right ... Of course I would ... But that is a very fringe scenario ... The norm is not like that.
Re: Would you marry someone
But nobody’s saying they’ll actively seek someone out like that; but that it wouldn’t be a dealbreaker, most rational and sane peopel will look at many other factors.
Your comments about this and the children brought up this way are very offensive. You contribute to the same society that treats these children like garbage. Good job. :k:
Re: Would you marry someone
So a person who's parents weren't married will grow up up to have no values? I can't believe you said that.
I can't believe I said that either ... Can you show me?
Lets see, a person who's parents were divorced will turn out to be a bad spouse. Or a person who's parents cheated during their marriage will turn out to be a cheater.
But we know that's not true. To think people place more value on a person's parents' marital status than the person's character herself is mind-boggling.
This is also wrong ... I said unless the man or woman themselves are pious then it is not advisable to marry such a person ... So to make it clear to you ... Preference is being given to the character of the individual over the parents.
Re: Would you marry someone
Peace bro
Look the question is would we marry someone who was conceived out of wedlock ... Even I would say yes ... But that is a pointless response .... Because we always look for the best ... And you know as well as me that high lineage is a factor for marriage ... If there were special circumstances where I was in that situation where I knew such a person and I felt she was right ... Of course I would ... But that is a very fringe scenario ... The norm is not like that.
wa'laikum assalaam Psyah Bhai.
i don't care for the lineage or cast or social status. what i care for is...is the girl educated, has good character, is honest and above all if she will be a good mother to our children? if all is yes then i will definitely go for her in spite of her being born out of wedlock. she should be as normal a person as anyone else.
wali ke ghar meN shaitaan aur shaitaan ke ghar wali paida hote huye aapne bhii dekhaa hogaa...maiN ne to dekhaa hii hai.