A recent discussion with bff about rishtas and rejections brought up a scenario that I haven’t heard anybody around me discuss. I have only seen it on Bend it like Beckham.
Would you marry a girl who had a sister that had eloped with a non-muslim guy or as in the case of the movie, would you break off a rishta if the girl’s sister had a non-muslim boyfriend?
Why or why not?
Would your answer be different based on if it was an arranged situation or if you two were friends before you developed feelings for her?
Would your answer also depend on when you find out this information?
Obviously the question is mostly directed towards men, but girls feel free to give your perspective on the issue as well.
i can realy see it being a prob with teh guy's side of the family. kaisi tarbiyat kari hai maa baap ne... hai hai tumhari honay wali biwi bhi ussi ghar ki hai.. she will be like that too.. hai hai mera chand kidhar phuss gaya... lets break it off
whilst chaand is going crazy trying to plea otherwise :D
Obviously if you find out something AFTER marriage, there's really not much the family can do (unless they're completely jahil and would divorce simply over this reason)
10-15 years ago, I could see this being an issue/problem...Nowadays, not really. I've seen PLENTY of inter-racial marriages in our community, that have no bearing whatsoever on the bride's siblings getting rishtas from Muslim Indo/Pak families.
Unfortunately, this kind of crap still happens in our culture during the rishta process. I would advise the girl or her family to just honestly state it to either the guy (i.e girl lets the guy know) prior to marriage to just keep things simple and straightforward.
^ I dont' think it's so much the interracial factor but rather the fact that the sister may have eloped....
You're right...I missed that point! Then I guess it would depend a lot on if the couple who eloped still maintains good realtions with the respective families or if their is still tension and hostility surrounding them?
Some families may not want to get caught up in the drama...
^I was actually going to add that question to the original post. Would it matter if the family had cut off all ties with the child/sibling or if they had accepted the situation and were on good terms? Would some desi families consider the latter a bad thing?
if girl's family stating it publicly that their daughter eloped with a guy (lets make it general and ignore religion) then it is the right of the proceeding family to review their stance in current rishta.
I was seeing a non-Muslim guy (who later converted) and my brother still got really good proposals sent his way..
Also, my brother was once interested in a girl whose sister was married to a non-Muslim and he's quite conservative so obviously he himself could overlook it as well..
In past generations I think most guys' families prob did take it v.seriously but girls' families not so much.. Having said that I think back then good looks and/or money **still **trumped it.. I say this cos my mum's sister eloped with a guy (very briefly) 20+ yrs ago but she still got rishtas and ended up marrying a doctor.. prob cos she was really attractive..
I was seeing a non-Muslim guy (who later converted) and my brother still got really good proposals sent his way..
Also, my brother was once interested in a girl whose sister was married to a non-Muslim and he's quite conservative so obviously he himself could overlook it as well..
In past generations I think most guys' families prob did take it v.seriously but girls' families not so much.. Having said that I think back then good looks and/or money **still **trumped it.. I say this cos my mum's sister eloped with a guy (very briefly) 20+ yrs ago but she still got rishtas and ended up marrying a doctor.. prob cos she was really attractive..
Yah, attractiveness/beauty is a HUGE factor. I can bet 100s of dollars that a guy would go ahead and accept the proposal if the girl is beautiful regardless of if her sister eloped etc.
A recent discussion with bff about rishtas and rejections brought up a scenario that I haven't heard anybody around me discuss. I have only seen it on Bend it like Beckham.
Would you marry a girl who had a sister that had eloped with a non-muslim guy or as in the case of the movie, would you break off a rishta if the girl's sister had a non-muslim boyfriend?
Why or why not?
Would your answer be different based on if it was an arranged situation or if you two were friends before you developed feelings for her?
Would your answer also depend on when you find out this information?
Obviously the question is mostly directed towards men, but girls feel free to give your perspective on the issue as well.
Sup sweetness!..Well it wouldn't matter to me. My opinion about chica wouldn't change just coz her sister chose to marry non-muslim fella.
i really wouldnt be comfortable with marrying a guy whose sibling has a non-muslim partner (let alone have a time pass with no intentions of marriage etc)
i dont know it's just not me.. however, my cousin's brother in law got married to a gori-japanese and although my cousin is conservative and religious, she is ok with it as she has to live with it...
i just feel that it reflects a lot on a family if any one in their family is seeing someone outside of the religion/has eloped. i know that it depends on the person and that we should look at him alone, but one cant help but look at the family as a whole.
if girls fiance said i need my space ,
aur bohat insulting andaz se kahay to girl ko kiya karna chaheya hain ,
aur boy ke aaisay attitude ki kiya waja hoti hain