i have a friend. he has diabetes since 6th grade. He leads a perfectly normal life, he got married in 2011.Now has a little girl. He has to be careful with the food regime and stuff. He uses insulin.
He is still 27, so impotence should not be an issue. If he takes care of his diet, exercise then he can live perfectly normal life. Wasim Bhai (the cricketer) got diabetic when he was 33 or 34 and recently got married 2nd time to an Aussie :-D
Amputation, blindness can happen to a perfectly fine, non-diabetic as well. All it takes is a simple accident, so don't think too much about it.
Buttsb is describing type 1 and you're describing type 2..
My brother is diabetic at a very young age (we don't know of anyone else being type 2 at under 30).. In his case it was because he had an unhealthy lifestyle as well as the genetic factor.. He also has a condition called sleep apnea and other associated issues like high bp and high cholesterol.. You might want to find out if that rishta has other similar health problems as well because type 2 diabetes is VERY rare in younger people..
My brother has to disclose it for work so apart from lifestyle issues there's that to consider as well.. In our culture we tend not to think of it as a big deal as it's so common..
Both my parents are diabetic and I'm the only one in my family who isn't.. If I'd come accross a diabetic in an arranged match I'd probably have said no as it's just another thing to worry about (esp as I wouldn't already have a bond with him or any emotional attachment)..
Seriously? What is wrong with you women? The guy is better off without you. Leave him be to find a girl that values him for who he is. Not for his blood sugar levels. This is why Pakistani men don't marry Pakistani girls.
Seriously? What is wrong with you women? The guy is better off without you. Leave him be to find a girl that values him for who he is. Not for his blood sugar levels. This is why Pakistani men don't marry Pakistani girls.
I'm not out to make this into a man versus woman comment, and while a guy being diabetic wouldn't throw me personally - how is a girl thinking about a guy's diabetes diagnosis different than a girl being judged and found wanting if she has sisters who can't have children, or she's asthmatic or she has a limp or a lazy eye?
Girls are judged by both a guy's mother and the guy themselves for "flaws" like this. An open-minded person knows these factors don't or shouldn't matter - but that's not the reality.
Should a girl or guy say to a potential for the reasons i've enumerated - I think no. But, let's not be naive and think it's not something that's weighed and considered on a rishta balance sheet.
^ In an ideal world, we (myself included) wouldn't judge another person based on factors where the impact is either immaterial or unknown. But we don't live in an ideal world and people assume, extrapolate and unfortunately make decisions of fear of possibilities - they take the safe route.
Taking a little or large leap of faith isn't easy.
And agreed, a guy is judged not just by a girl, but her family as well. And judgements aren't limited to rishta scenarios - we judge or assume in most of our relationships - work, social and personal.
I'm not out to make this into a man versus woman comment, and while a guy being diabetic wouldn't throw me personally - how is a girl thinking about a guy's diabetes diagnosis different than a girl being judged and found wanting if she has sisters who can't have children, or she's asthmatic or she has a limp or a lazy eye?
I'm a little confused--do you mean prospective rishtas will judge a girl if her SISTERS have no kids?
Seriously? What is wrong with you women? The guy is better off without you. Leave him be to find a girl that values him for who he is. Not for his blood sugar levels. This is why Pakistani men don't marry Pakistani girls.
If potentials are judged on personal appearance and so on why is this worse?
People accept or reject on lots of different factors.. Some people reject on lack of virginity which personally I would be ok with but diabetes I would say no to (in my case because the latter would have more impact on our day to day lives imo)
Not sure why this should be singled out as 'superficial' (isn't it considered subjective anyway?) when other things aren't..
I'm a little confused--do you mean prospective rishtas will judge a girl if her SISTERS have no kids?
Yep. There are families that think divorce or infertility is "genetic" or contagious. And they will think twice before asking for another sister/daughter in the family's rishta. I'm just giving examples of different things that make people think twice. The majority of people don't care about these things, but that they think about it for a moment is a reality.
I'm not out to make this into a man versus woman comment, and while a guy being diabetic wouldn't throw me personally - how is a girl thinking about a guy's diabetes diagnosis different than a girl being judged and found wanting if she has sisters who can't have children, or she's asthmatic or she has a limp or a lazy eye?
Just because both parties do it, doesn't mean its okay. Those who judge girls on such basis are pigs.
OP, since this is a rishta, you have every right to do all the nitpicking you want. However, if you say he ticks all the boxes and his diabetes is under control I think you'l be fine. It's a condition that is both non infectious and easily manageable, albeit hereditary.
People often get into rishta and then down the track one or both of them may get diabetes. But I doubt their relationship suffers from it. They just love each other and take care of each other.
^That's different because you will have aready developed a bond with them..
Diabetes can easily be managed if that person has willpower (and common-sense).. I see a lot of people in our culture not taking it seriously tho and they do have high bp, weight issues etc. Diabetes is just seen as something 'normal' because so many of our parents and aunties and uncles have it..
Severe complications from diabetes like blindness are quite rare in the West so I wouldn't worry too much about that..
This obviously doesn't apply to everyone but the fact that he developed type 2 diabetes so early would suggest to me he wasn't leading a healthy lifestyle and might well have other health problems.. There are exceptions but that's not usually the case..
The main issue here should not be that he has type 2 diabetes but **whether he actually makes the effort to manage it **by living a healthy lifestyle (i.e. exercise, healthy diet, regular doctor's visits, etc.) and keeps it under control. This is significant because, as Deeba1234 and others have said, individuals with type 2 diabetes can live normal lives if they take care of their health. If this is the case, you should give him a chance.
However, if the gentleman has type 2 diabetes and does not attempt to manage it and does not exercise, eat healthy, or make any lifestyle changes to address his condition whatsoever, then I think that is a red flag for two reasons. The first is that uncontrolled (as in not treated) diabetes can result in serious health issues and if an individual simply ignores their condition and makes no attempt manage it, then amputations, blindness and organ failure are not far behind. Secondly, if an individual has a serious health condition and they are aware of it yet make no effort to treat/manage it, that person is either not very clever, does not care about their health (or life), or plain ignorant/uniformed, none of which are desirable qualities in a husband.
You need to call Wilford Brimley and ask him about the diabeeeetus. Also, stay away from such rishtas because you can catch the diabeetus and if he loses his vision he won't be able to tell you how boootiful you are and if he get's his legs amputated he won't be able to run after you in bollywood fashion and if he becomes impotent then he won't be able to help you make little diabetic children. RUN OP, RUN! Let the diabeetus zombies die alone.
You should consider whether he lives a healthy lifestyle or not. Don't overplan things you have no control over. If something has to go wrong, it can, even if you marry a guy with no health conditions. What if you're the one or a sibling who develops a health condition and judged based on it.
A perfect shehzada only happens in fairytales. Most people have to compromise on something.
If he "ticks all the boxes" and the only thing is the type 2, then IMO, you are being shallow. Diabetes is manageable not the end of the world. What next asthma? Glasses?