few days ago someone was having a discussion on a thread here and he mentioned that he is getting married but he is not virgin or anything, so it’s not gonna be his first time. and he was totally cool about it.
that worries me so much, is it really not a big deal for *muslims men anymore?
i am a very conservative person and i don’t hang around guys as much so i guess that’s the reason these kind of things still surprises me.
i know a pakistani muslim girl from my college who got married couple of months ago and her husband who is also pakistani and muslim wasn’t a virgin either, and the girl’s sister told me that. they seems like very traditional family, so i was very shocked to hear that, and also how it’s not really a big deal for them.
it’s very big deal for me, i would never marry or even wanna be friend with a person who has been involved in that kind of activities such as drinking and adultry, because they are gunnah-e-kabeera.
what do you girls think? would you happily marry a guy who is not virgin (and never been married) ???
It has come to this time period in history, where it is near impossible to find a muslim virgin man. I guess women too, but I don't go looking for women, so I don't know what the ratios of virgin: nonvirgin are these days.
It's dead hard being a virgin in this time period. It is NOT easy going to sleep all alone every night when you have a real physical need, increasing age spent in education, and all this temptation around you.
So, its not surprising you're seeing fewer and fewer virgins. But even if I meet a guy who isn't virgin, if he's gloating about how much he's done or how much action he's had, I find it REALLY disrespectful - to me, and to the women he's been with, because obviously, they were only timepass for him.
And that's what I tend to stay away from. If you cannot treat other women the way you'd want your daugher or sister to be treated, then I don't want to have anything to do with you, and the sooner I find out you are THIS ghattiya, the better.
But then, that basically means like 99% of Pakistani men, so you can see where my dilemma is :)
thatz not a big issue these days....u cant be sure or guess who is virgin or not...plus itz hard to find naek and paarsa insaan these days ...as far as he is okay with me and he leaves all those things after marrying me,i wont mind about his previous life...
It has come to this time period in history,** where it is near impossible to find a muslim virgin man**. I guess women too, but I don't go looking for women, so I don't know what the ratios of virgin: nonvirgin are these days.
Either I was on mars or you are exaggerating it to limit.
I am pretty sure that majority of Muslim (and/or Pakistani) male/females are virgin before getting married for the first time...
Either I was on mars or you are exaggerating it to limit.
I am pretty sure that majority of Muslim (and/or Pakistani) male/females are virgin before getting married for the first time...
ok, so you are a guy (i am guessing from your avatar) you been with more guys then i :D so do you really think girls like us still have a hope of getting married one day with a guy who doesn't drink, or involved in other sexual activities such as watching porn, dating and stuff like that?
please reply seriously, because i have been very depressed seeing all that in my college, friends, and tv. and i feel like i would never be able to get marry because i am never going to find a guy who is a good muslim.
i won't but if it was coz of previous marriage then i will
well, if he has been married before then it's islamically ok. i am talking about doing things against islam.
pcg I think over here we are not talking about men living in US. I am with Decent on this, majority of our boys are not into adultry.....they are virgins. Sames goes for our gals.
ok, so you are a guy (i am guessing from your avatar) you been with more guys then i :D so do you really think girls like us still have a hope of getting married one day with a guy who doesn't drink, or involved in other sexual activities such as watching porn, dating and stuff like that?
please reply seriously, because i have been very depressed seeing all that in my college, friends, and tv. and i feel like i would never be able to get marry because i am never going to find a guy who is a good muslim.
well, if he has been married before then it's islamically ok. i am talking about doing things against islam.
i think u can find good, clean guys even these days. its wat u pray for n then ur naseeb. pray for a decent 6chora every night :)
How would you know if he is not a virgin? If he is proud of what he did and is bragging about it, that could be a good warning from god to find someone better - unless you want him to strike the guy with a lightening bolt.
If he has done it in the past, and has no intention on doing it again (extramarital), I don't see much harm in that arrangement. If I found out after getting married that my lady was not a virgin when I married her, but if I am sure she is not and will not be cheating on me, I'll be fine with it. I haven't done it, but I'm no saint otherwise. If I were a complete mullah, then yeah perhaps it would bother me more.
The point is, I am not turning down a otherwise good woman because she made a mistake and committed a sin in her past. But thats just me.
How would you know if he is not a virgin? If he is proud of what he did and is bragging about it, that could be a good warning from god to find someone better - unless you want him to strike the guy with a lightening bolt.
If he has done it in the past, and has no intention on doing it again (extramarital), I don't see much harm in that arrangement. If I found out after getting married that my lady was not a virgin when I married her, but if I am sure she is not and will not be cheating on me, I'll be fine with it. I haven't done it, but I'm no saint otherwise. If I were a complete mullah, then yeah perhaps it would bother me more.
The point is, I am not turning down a otherwise good woman because she made a mistake and committed a sin in her past. But thats just me.
Exactly, always watch and see if he brags. There are some guys out there who have done it like once, and that too when they were horny little teenagers. Maybe they're different people now?
Its when a guy is so proud of his record that you need to start getting worried...because for him, it is an ever expanding trophy case, and you're just gonna be one more trophy in it...
The kind of guy who likes variety...once he's used to it, he's going to find it really difficult to settle for one person after marriage. Requires a lot more willpower.
Sara