Would you let your kids have a 'relationship' before marriage?

Lifestyle Relationships
21

Re: Would you let your kids have a 'relationship' before marriage?

nobody seems to answer the bold part of my question..viz.

[QUOTE]
Did you have relationship(s)/done dating before marrying yourself?
[/QUOTE]

22

Re: Would you let your kids have a 'relationship' before marriage?

yes.

no!

23

Re: Would you let your kids have a 'relationship' before marriage?

At least , the mistakes that you have done in your life , no parents want the same kinda from their kids. dating is just something i dont like myself :(

24

Re: Would you let your kids have a 'relationship' before marriage?

lol.. and i am sure your kids have grand plans for you all as well.. how many of you are living out your parent's dream for you?

25

Re: Would you let your kids have a 'relationship' before marriage?

My SO and I have been together for 2 years. Neither one of us asked our parents for “permission” when we met. We dated for a little over 1 year when we finally agreed that we will get married and that’s when we told our parents.
I moved out of my parents home once I finished my undergrad (at 21). Once I moved out, I didn't need to "ask" my parents for anything. As an adult, I made my own decisions. The idea of 18 year old's moving out of parents homes to go to college is VERY common (at least here in the U.S.). Does anyone really think these students call their mom/dad (or will call mom/dad) to ask "permission" to date??! Heck when I was in high school (even in college), I knew desis who lived WITH their parents and dated WITHOUT their parents knowing.

I will do my best to pass on my own morals and values to my children and teach them right from wrong. I always want my children to be open with me and not feel like they have to "hide" any aspects of their life from me.

Will I encourage them to date? NO

But if I find out that they are dating, I won't forbid it or make them feel like they have to start lying to me. I have not forgotten what teenagers/young adults are like. I knew plenty of kids in high school/college who were "forbidden" by their parents to date or mix with the opposite sex. I also saw first hand how they lied/manipulated their parents and did it anyway.

As for "accepting" whoever they choose.....YES. My parents do not agree with my choice of future husband (ie. my SO). My SO's parents do not agree with his choice of future wife (ie. me). However, both sets of parents respect us as adults and thus, respect our choices. I will do the same for my children.

I don’t know when my children will move out of the house but I know for sure that I have the first 18 years of their life to teach them right vs. wrong according to our (my husband and I) values/morals. After that, I will do my best to guide them...but not "tell" them what they need to do (especially when choosing their life partner). They will need to learn to make their own decisions and live with their own choices. Once the children are adults, I may not always agree with the choices they make, but I will always respect their choices and support them. After all, if a person can’t count on their own father/mother for support, then who can they count on?

26

Re: Would you let your kids have a 'relationship' before marriage?

They may get to know someone through participation in youth groups, educational circles, word of mouth, and hence if they suggest someone then their opinion MUST be considered first not last.

No dating. No meeting alone. No emailing and chatting with prospective spouses unless it was a coincidence as a result of the former mentioned in the first para.

JZK!

27

Re: Would you let your kids have a 'relationship' before marriage?

does anybody here realize dating is haram in islam. hanging out with family is ok, in a group with parents knowledge is ok. but dating equals to sex. which is haram in islam.

28

Re: Would you let your kids have a 'relationship' before marriage?

Dating = Sex

Einstein is among us once more!

This formula joins the long list in the Law of Backwardness.

29

Re: Would you let your kids have a 'relationship' before marriage?

if i have kids, i will raise them to be strong in their deen and to know what islam is and what being a muslim means, inshallah they will then never even consider dating, because its unislamic. However i would encourage them to get to know potential partners before commiting to marriage, but in group situations or with a chaperone.
And nope i never dated anyone before marrying.

30

Re: Would you let your kids have a 'relationship' before marriage?

No

31

Re: Would you let your kids have a 'relationship' before marriage?

OP, u havent said if u'd allow it or if u were in a relationship before u tied the knot either..

32

Re: Would you let your kids have a ‘relationship’ before marriage?

I am just a kid :phati: …no plans of marriage..how i would think about whether to allow kids or not?? thats why question was posed only to the parents
btw…as of now…i don’t see myself allowing them..because i haven’t indulged myself in this till now :hypo:

33

Re: Would you let your kids have a ‘relationship’ before marriage?

if u r kid phr ham to abhii nannai munnnai n masoooooom howee …:hypo:

Gs pe koi shareeef bacha choora b nhii hai ap ne :cb:

34

Re: Would you let your kids have a 'relationship' before marriage?

oh so ur saying islam is a backward relgion?

35

Re: Would you let your kids have a 'relationship' before marriage?

What about if ur ' KID' is in his/her late twentiesss. how are going to STOP an adult from dating/getting to know someone,considering more people are getting married around their thirties?

Some things should be accepted by parents in order to have a peacefull life, for them aswell as their children. There should be limits though...

How would you like it if u were followed 24/7.

(There might be a difference betweens pakistan raised children and outside of pakistan...although the difference is getting smaller)

36

Re: Would you let your kids have a 'relationship' before marriage?

Um.....since when?

37

Re: Would you let your kids have a 'relationship' before marriage?

LOL abbasi paai you have quite an aggressive approach towards dating. Just so we're on the same page here, the dates that you pay $10 for aren't really considered dates. Plus, equating dating with sex is quite a mistrusting approach that could make you paranoid in future. For a test, have you ever suspected your hand of cheating on you? If the answer is yes, you might wanna ease up a notch.

38

Re: Would you let your kids have a 'relationship' before marriage?

I do believe abbassi is a woman.

39

Re: Would you let your kids have a 'relationship' before marriage?

Assuming the time these days to be considered ready for marriage is in the late 20s, early 30s now, it'd be quite a sight to see a grown up asking permission from her mommy to 'meet' someone in order to find a suitable candidate.

40

Re: Would you let your kids have a 'relationship' before marriage?

Nailed it!!